/hikki/ - NEET / Advice

>>10143

>the chinny

Just in case you all didn't know, the Chinny is a Sharty splinter that's particularly notorious for CSAM spam.

Dropped out of uni AGAIN

>>9370
i feel for you… do you want to talk about it?

t. persona 3 guy

>>9351
It's hard. Sometimes I'm strangled by loneliness. I understand where you're coming from, and if there was a remedy I'd be all for it. I guess we just need to bank on the hope that everything washes out eventually.

Things are looking quiet this month. Another morning slouching toward Gomorrah.

>>9372
Hey. Follow up from early last year. Got kicked out of the dogshit college course. But it's hard to care. It was really really bad, the kind of disappointing that makes you want to cry like you're looking at a dead baby animal.

I've been dealing with really really shitty feelings my whole life. I'm basically a delinquent; I got kicked out of one school every few years as a kid, and my parents always attributed blame onto me, which was fair enough I guess.
It kind of had the unintended side-effect of me feeling horrible about myself and taking responsibility for everything that went wrong.

I developed these random bouts of panic and anxiety. when I was about 11 or 12 I had a week-long breakdown where I felt the need to "confess" about everything bad I'd seen on the internet. literally anything, from shitty unity youtuber bait games from five nights at freddy's to Danganronpa to south park. It wasn't even anything nsfw/l. I also got these bouts of hypochondria surrounding my cock and ass. I was terrified that I wasn't showering properly or I was somehow ingrown or deformed. I was petrified of shitting or pissing my pants

This time last year, I gaslit myself into thinking i was a psychopathic pedophile after having sexual dreams about children. my psych thinks i was raped as a child, but that feels like such an easy way out, y'know? Like, oh, what a convenient explanation for why I've felt ambiently terrible and have been a shitty person since the age of 4! I'm probably just a disgusting autist retard (many such cases).

Thing is, it's kind of all a problem with me rather than my parents, (that is, on the premise that any of it can even be attributed to them reprimanding me).
They were kind of right to blame me for doing stuff wrong. It feels like they can be really rude but I think they're right when they say I can dish shit out but I can't take it.

I've got a tranny online friend who lives with her schizo autist abusive bogan dad, and it sounds really shitty but I kind of envy her. she actually has a reason to be miserable and feel pain all the time.

Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>10184
I put the tripfag in the wrong field LMAO. sorry.

>>10181
>do you consider yourself human?
Yep
>i dont think i consider myself human in the traditional dictionary meaning of the word HUMAN
Then what are you?
>do locking yourself up for i dont know, more than a year makes you less human?
Nope, it may or may not cause your mental health to deteriorate however.
>would that be a good thing?
Nothing good can come from shutting yourself in in isolation.
>is feeling superior after long periods of time alone and the lack of personal in depth communication with others bad or good for you??
I'd say it's delusional, there's nothing about being isolated that could make you superior to anybody, if it felt that way, it probably is a product of the deterioration I mentioned.

I suppose we have yet to define what do you mean by "human" though. There's two ways that word is defined, a being of the genus "Homo" or an individual with characteristics of a regular person, such as feeling emotions, social behavior etc.

>>10181
u should watch i saw the tv glow

hello anon. are you okay?

*Thumbs


Up*

>>9701

sorry for loss, anon

its good to hear that you are doing good, ganba!

i wish i could go full ed gein and do deranged shit with me house, but i have to keep it clean.

>>10179
dont be a pussy nigga

>>10170
Based. I honestly think that the quirk chungus "job application jumpscare" zoomer tardninjaing is a psyop by the feds to try and get neets and undesirables that can't get jobs to feel worse by slow degrees, ideally culminating in rope so that the government doesn't have to do it themselves. I fucking hate normninjas so much man

anyway check out this awesome fanart i found

>>10160
escaping isn't super difficult. you slowly realize that your paranoia of the world and self assured knowledge that existence is meaningless is in and of itself questionable because of said paranoia. after that you stop being able to trust your own thoughts and do wayyy too many psychedelic drugs to try and reset your brain to a point where things made sense, this is how most typically escape. the question of how long it takes you to reach the desperation to do something like that is basically just predicted by how thoroughly you've been deluded by whatever ideology or cope which dragged you here in the first place. no matter how assured you are in your prison there is always the option to obliterate your current self and move on

>>10175
>how thoroughly you've been deluded by whatever ideology or cope which dragged you here in the first place

i love how you don't even consider the option that there might be external forces leading people to neetism, it's all "their fault" so to speak. really great stuff tumblranon

>>10175
drugs are bad anon

>>10177
is that an original printing reset from legends? what a find! the mystery booster 2 one is ok i guess, but there's something great about the old art

>>10172
you should play deltarune or new danganronpa v3 or maybe geometry dash or counterstrike i think those are good games also celeste and trackmania are pretty good you should give those a go too there's also ultrakill final fantasy vi and cry of fear

>>10173
also welcome to the game 3 came out that series is goated you should go play that one too

>>10142
Is there a meetup thread

>>10154
I'm a 120kg 197cm tall guy but a visa is a visa.

>>10159
wtf i love hotline miami

>>10167
i also love hotline miami finland makes best games

Fuck this its the Hotline Miami thread now

We went from russian cocksucking thread to russian assfucking thread

>>9851
>What people's phone numbers do you have saved?
I don't have a phone.

>>9852
without a phone you will get absolutely nowhere in terms of socializing these days anon

ya life terrible dork boy

>>9853
Mobile phones are absolutely malicious devices and it's better to be a total outcast than be a slave to those wire taps.

>>9812
Yes, I don't think I'll ever be able to hold long standing relationships. I've given up most of my hope. I can't commit.

same here, I was always left out by people my age since 5th grade
now I can't even hold a conversation or small talk without making it awkward with my inability to socialize :(

>>9706
i feel the same, but it's compounded by the fact that all the social circles im in (fag indie rpgs, rock climbing, skating, mtg) attract either ubertards or the most intolerably morose people ever

Guess what boys?

That's right.

I'm getting out of my THIRD hotel. But this time on my own accord. Boss and coworkers didn't like me anyway and the older workers kept geting pissed off by me and I hated the place so I said I'm leaving, no one tried to stop me or change my mind. I think I'm retarded or something… Never work in hotels if you're ex-NEET/Hikki… I hate dealing with and serving people. I think I'm just destined to live as a parasitic life form, a curse to my family. My whole existence was a cruel joke by the demiurge to bring my parents financial and emotional ruin.

There is no escape for me. I'm doomed. AAAAAAAAAAA

>FLCL just makes me feel like shit
Me too. And I was only 18 then, already sickened by what I imagined myself to have missed out on.

I managed to get by socially attaching a permanent class clown type thing to my face that never came off until high school ended, at which point I burned every last bridge and stopped going outside for many years. All this to say is that I never really felt myself to be myself around people or even around myself, barring maybe very early childhood. It's like I never existed for most of my life.

Well, I managed to "go outside" since all of that but I should say that even being past 30 I still can't convince myself that I am a real person. I have a lot of trouble showing my face in public. Because it basically doesn't exist in a real way and I am ashamed of that. And I'm just as scared of looking into the void as others would be.

Well, all this is for old men anyway. Grieving adolescence is painful for sure though.

>>10121
Are you me?