/hikki/ - NEET / Advice

>>9505
you are trying to present as a woman?

>>8152
it's okay, i mean "cyb" as in /cyb/ (the board) which means cybersecurity. i have some stuff to get started (which i still have to get into myself):
https://cyberpunk-life.neocities.org/
https://github.com/Hack-with-Github/Awesome-Hacking
https://github.com/sbilly/awesome-security
https://sizeof.cat/links/#security
you just need a laptop, no need to have something powerful. there's the cyb career faq in the first website of these iirc that explains a possible path to get a job in the field
anyways, hope you can resist in there, i know the feeling. just don't get stuck in a wagie job for eternity (difficulty: impossible)

>>8153
Thank you, I will look into everything you send in the morning. Is it actually possible to just get a cybersec job without a degree? I've seen plenty of NEETs do it over the years. Maybe it's possible with COMPTia certs.

>>8154
looks like it is but don't get my word for it. you'll learn script and automation stuff anyway so a sys admin position could also be a thing maybe?
keep me updated!

Hooo boy. I keep coming back to this thread I made years ago. It's 4 AM and I'm smoking on my childhood home'd kitchen window. Since I made this thread not much had changed. I attempted to go to college, then barely attended and dropped out. Just playing vidya at nights and sleeping the day through. 14 year old me would not be surprised at all. My NEET days are about to be over, I think. My mom has daily fights with me over my NEETdom and is forcing me to get a job. I'm barely eating and when I do I feel disgusting and guilty about it. To add salt to my injury my mom makes sure to constantly berate me about my weight, as if she hadn't given me an eating disorder through 12th grade. I feel so disgusting whenever I eat most things. I don't know why, despite everything, I still haven't became an hero. I'm too lazy to rope I guess. I'm do tired.

Also the reason why FLCL makes me feel like shit is because of my fear of missing out. I want to go on adventures with friends like in the anime, but throughout the years I've felt that I was too old for that stuff or was simply too depressed to go out. Anyway, idk what I'm going for with this post. Maybe It's just an update? Or maybe I'm just proving my existence by shouting at the void. Nevertheless I'm only hoping that my dad gives me money for another pack of cigs tomorrow, I only got 2 left in the pack.

>>6627
when i was in elementary and middle school i was the "target kid"; the one who was the easiest to bully and because of this i spent a lot of that time an outcast and i believe it most likely had disastrous consequences for my long tterm health

Reading this was just like looking myself in the mirror. I started to feel paranoid and this over-self awareness about many things; especially if I need to do things outside. Feeling this sensation of being watched or recorded for no rational reason. I even talk alone so much, to the point that I think the objects around me are listening and having their own opinion. Social isolation in his overdrive I suppose.

>is it possible for loneliness and prolonged social isolation to cause psychotic symptoms? am i losing my mind?
yes to both, humans are inherently social creatures despite our attempts to tell ourselves otherwise. If you have a friend you can confide in, I would suggest talking to them at least a little bit (it could be about anything, even an online friend could suffice). I'd also suggest maybe going for a walk outside or changing your surrounding for a bit so you aren't caught up in the subtle monotony that can drive yourself insane when isolate. Even something as simple as cleaning your room or changing the curtains can go a long way.

As for the feeling of being stalked, I've been there and the best thing you can do is to repeat to yourself "its not true" and reminder yourself that you are but one person in a sea of a billion of people. While it may be true that some data firm is collecting your voting records, nobody truly cares to constantly record and track you. If that were the case, many petty criminals especially cyber criminals would be caught by now, there would constantly be a social worker at your doorstep at any given time, and society would have cameras watching us in the home (and no amazon and google products people willing put in their homes doesn't count, i'm talking legit gov Orwellian shit). The truth of the matter is that not only is that shit massively expensive and impractical for a gov (I've worked in gov, I know trust me) but its also a violation of privacy laws (which despite gov repeatedly trying to break with shit like the Patriot act and Prism, it always comes back to bite them in the ass and still many things slip under the radar because of the impracticality of it all). You aren't being watched, except for cookies on sites designed to advertise you useless shit and chances are you already most of that blocked with browser extensions. Just don't go on shady sites and align with shady people and you should be good.

It might be worth it to tell your psychiatrist about these delusions. At worst you could be schizophrenic, at best you could just be very autistic. I'm not a therapist or a psych medicine person though, I'm just an anon with too much free time.

mini-pc arrived early, now i can use the laptop for whatever i want.

>>9508
>>9395
I am envious of the clean room set up. I wish I was that organized

>>9513
tbf thats from when i first moved, now its moreso organized chaos.
im getting closer n closer to my ideal set-up.

>>9508 tech issues i mentioned, the ssd in the thinkpad x280 was corrupted so i have to get another one.
i put linux on the lenovo thinkcentre so i can turn it into a server of sorts.
eagerly awaiting the arrival of my thinkpad x60, im excited unlike other models this one has the IBM logo and the sick keyboard with the blue enter key.
for the x60 im gonna have to use a 32 bit distro since this partiular x60 isnt the 64 bit variant.

i need to get a PO box, far too many times packages have been kicked back, my x60 was meant to be here days ago. but because i live in the middle of nowhere i get fucked over.

>>9423
he wants to be like a video game character.

what the ._.

Btw, i hope Balatro rlly good game

well, comparing them both, chihiro fujisaki has a milder personality while byakuya is more precise and sometimes blunt in his words. So try to be calmer, quieter, gentle.
you know, a submissive breedable twink

>>9519
im not wasting my money on pinkpills you shill

>>9423
Can you post tomoko_disgust1.png (or tomoko_disgust.png) for me please

i dont want to dwell on this, but its difficult not to notice this sword of Damocles hanging over my head.

i dont kwiw what 'sow rod of damocles'. Uvoachan is jus an extension of my mind and a bad conversaiton with myselfe thats become an unhealthy habitgt

some time ago I talked to my psychologist, I told her about my most recent attempt to end my life and other suicidal idealizations, she told me that there was a dysregulation with my emotions, that at the slightest bad situation I was already thinking in the extreme, between many words we determined that the origin of my problems was due to the environment that surrounded me and she was right, living with parents who were not mentally and economically stable is not the best for a child to develop, fights, beatings, alcohol, death threats, in addition to suffering bullying for a long time for not being generally neurotypical caused me to have suicidal thoughts with 11 years and many attempts in progress, currently: I do not feel very well but it could be much worse, I went back to smoking for a short period of time and I isolated myself in my room, it is not that I have relapsed completely, I just want to disconnect a little bit from everything to reflect on myself and try to improve somehow, I feel optimistic about it ngl

good luck anon

iu wonder what could be the context for this thread ? can someone confirm