/hikki/ - NEET / Advice

Doc a few months ago said I'm either in a prodromal stage for schizophrenia, have schizoaffective disorder or have schizoid personality disorder. Of course the last option is the best outcome but they're all miserable in their own way.
Can't really say I'm too surprised now that it's all settled into my mind. Back when he first told me I had a slight mental breakdown, but now, like everything else that happened in my life, it's turned into a small whirring hum that never really leaves but doesn't cause any strong emotions one way or the other.
I've had some pretty bad cards dealt to me over my life, but this one has to be the worst just for the level of staying power. I've been mentally abused by my father, bullied through my childhood and teens, raped by one of my best friend, had a girlfriend that almost ruined the little social circle I had, and yet none of that even comes close to being diagnosed as a potential schizophrenic.
Life just kinda sucks right now and the desire to just kinda kill myself grows and grows. I don't like going outside, I don't like talking to people, I don't like consuming media, or playing games, or doing art anymore, or programming. I don't really like doing anything. It'd be more accurate to say what I tolerate the most rather than what I like the most because everything just kind of sucks. I've been NEET for about a year (minus a few months I went to college for a degree I then dropped out of), I spend my days mindlessly watching youtube, playing fighting games, and watching anime barely thinking much about anything. Then I go to bed and kinda mope and sob a little to sleep, and then I wake up and repeat the whole thing over again. It's a tortourous cycle that I can literally feel rotting away my mind, yet whenever I try to do anything about it I just end back up at square 1.
I'm starting university in september at least, not exactly in a degree I'm entirely sure I want to do, but hopefully the change of pace and the forced interactions with new people gets my brain active again where I can atleast be a high functioning manic depressive, rather than some guy who's slowly losing his mind in his room.
Sorry for the rant, I just wanted to get some things off my chest because I don't really have anyone else to talk to about them.

I'm beginning to feel less and less like a hikikomori as the days go by, I think. I used to feel a noticeable distance between me and the outside world but its almost like that distance is dissolving now.

Maybe it's because I'm starting to interact more with others online. I don't use vc and I but I'll listen and respond sometimes over chat. I feel as though I'm losing sight of something or I've yet to realize I've already lost sight of it.

>>2972
I have plenty though I feel it'd be exploitative to share them and for you to share these ancedotes on YouTube.

am doing good. recently ordered a new sleeping bag online as my old one's zipper broke after three years of constant use
i'd recommend any hiki to start sleeping in a sleeping bag rather than a bed, just cuz you don't have to deal with the hassle of wet/sweaty covers and stuff

>>7201
That's… A very interesting idea.

Glad to see all the other INFPs, I love you all. Life sucks doesn't it?

intp-t. typing is nonsense though, you will never get a solid result due to the inherent lack of a single, rigid personality in people. it can be even further complicated by psychological shit like multiplicity.

>>2367
INTP-A here. op's pic related pretty much sums up what everyday feels like.
when socialization and empathy doesn't happen automatically you really feel how little in common everyone has

INTP is the worst personality type to have. It makes your life so much more difficult, not twice as hard more like you're fucked beyond belief.

You are always thinking about living in an ideal world but never actually living in the world you are in now. You're good with theoretical concepts but inept when it comes to practical application of knowledge. This basically makes you incapable of doing most tasks or you do them poorly. You can't stand being around other people but are forced to accept the fact that you can't entirely avoid them.

It's fucking exhausting being alive.

First year I took this test I think I got ISTJ or INTJ. For the next half-decade it was ISTP. Now that I take it again I got INTP (and INFP once that I tried not get to me because this is just a secular zodiac test). The amount of INFPs on imageboards or at least /hikki9kdoomerNEET/ boards explains a lot of the behavior I loathe. The more accurate way to know what type you are is to read the descriptions of the 8 or 10 categories, and be honest with yourself on who you are at the moment, the whole thing reminds me of the Deus Ex AI conversation..
>>3947
>Wishes there was a war to kill people who have more feelings than him. Good reflexes help him dodge responsibility.
That's me.

>>6220
>isolated shithole town
Sounds comfy. I live in a big city and I'm miserable. I wish I could move to some bumfuck hick town and live in some cabin in the woods away from society

>>6220
>>6221
living alone in privacy somewhere in the woods sounds cozy but the thought of needing a ride every time to go to town for groceries or necessities kills the neet. Comfy without having to run into people but also within walkable distance to stores is a good balance to me personally

I'd take advantage of your generosity anon, 99% of us would because we wouldn't be able to help it. You can't just stick a bunch of dysfunctional people in halfway home and expect meaningful things to come of it. If I'm a depressed, reclusive chud and my roomies are depressed, reclusive chuds, it's going to turn into a game where we inevitably avoid one another as often as possible because none of us want to roll the dice with burdensome social interactions.

>>175
This would be great
I've dreamt of this for a while
But I keep end up failing in life and dropping out of things
But I'll try and remember to come back here later at some point

>>175
I used to think this was a good idea, and it is in a systemic sense. But as an individual I would advise you to focus on building general community and yourself up more. The sort of care that NEETs and Hikkis need takes a diligent village of mature people at minimum, and likely prolonged support from broader society. We are unfortunately a symptom of grand cultural problems that I don't want to bring up in this thread.
The solution is an equally grand systemic effort grounded in empathy to help us. I am a NEET who thanks to luck has gained some financial means over the past years, but nevertheless still lives at home. I have at various points given money to other NEETs. Even so, material support has yielded little results other than temporary happiness for recipients, which, while welcome, is not a solution.
I think a NEET house could work in principle if it was run and maintained by NEETs seeking a better life. The issue is that it requires non-NEETs to set up initially and be maintained for some indeterminate amount of time. Considering the highly volatile mental health conditions of many NEETs this is a job that simply requires more than 1 person, perhaps a particularly remarkable person could pull it off alone, and if that's you by all means, but it's not me, and it's not a lot of people.
If you're going to do it I wish you luck, but you are more likely to be successful if you get at least another person or two for support to establish a NEEThouse with. I do not wish for you to undergo the same emotional abuse at the hands of other NEETs that I have while trying to reach out and help. I provided more than money, I also provided a shoulder to cry on and a safe space. This backfired horribly as I'm not emotionally equipped to handle the abusive behaviors of other NEETs even though I empathize with their struggle deeply. This is something that would ideally involve some kind of trained mental health crises team, therapists, etc. Not to imply the mental health system always has the right answers, it doesn't, but in some cases some approaches can be helpful.

>>4708
Oh, I happen to be an expert on this. It's honestly really fucking easy.

You draw some art, it doesn't even have to be good, make sure to put a recognizable signature to it so people can google you, have a blog or something where the rest of your gallery is, link it to your paypal account or bitcoin wallet or something for people to send donations to.

Again, your art doesn't even have to be masterpieces, but what's important is a certain meme-value that compels someone to save it to their hard drive and later repost it somewhere else. Initially, you will be the one posting your own art in various different high-traffic places until it catches on and becomes viral and your fans are doing your work for you.

Use reverse image search to see who's reposting your shit and where.

>>4794
Wow, embracing mediocrity. I can't blame you for doing it, but I can't respect you either. If you can, don't live off of commissions op.

>>4795
Way to insult me dude. It's not mediocrity, read my post again, you can do what you love and not be a prostitute like Shadman who draws porn of spinners and emojis and Donald Trump and whatever, but whatever you draw actually has to be interesting to others to get popular, not just to yourself. One way or another you have to get people to repost it and talk about it.

Nobody owes you anything for spending a lot of time working hard on a piece, it's the value they receive that matters.

>>4796
Capitalist pigs not welcome here

>>7085
my oinks are worth more than your wah wahs, new age comm

>>4018
i forgot to add
>i have elevated my level of english to near native status (expressing myself is still difficult because i dont speak too much with people)
>on my way to learn japanese (those untranslated eroges wont stay out of my reach)

Monk tier hikki-dom is becoming a literal hermit. Come back when you farm your own food, produce your own clothing and transcend mortal desires.

>started working out and actually developed muscle
stopped reading right there

>>4019
try getting on voice chats , be that a videogame voice chat or just some discord VC.

I was the type of kid in school that made an ass out of himself in grades 1-7, which got me a small clique of "friends" that laughed behind my back, save for one dude that forced me to end a growing relationship with a nerdy girl my age because he thought "I was too cool for her and it would ruin our image/friendship". Then as I matured, I became extremely reserved and forced into class with sociopaths and ghetto retards. During my high school years, a lot of fucked up abuse went on (including an event which lead to hospitalization and a permanent ugly scar on my chest and stomach), which lead to a lot of body issues. It was so bad, quitting school was a plausible option. But I manned up and got my diploma. Now I'm just another anon looking for a job that leaves me with enough time to tend to my own hobbies.

Went through basically the same.
Socially isolated growing up, and the little interactions I did have probably ruined me in the head considering how little I trust to talk even with my parents nowadays. I repressed most of my life and now I have problems remembering and problems being honest in a conversation.
Trust issues I guess, always a feeling I have to please the other person, getting attached too quickly because of a lack of understanding social norm, feeling simultaneously accepted as part of the group and yet thinking they would all be better off without me and won't even notice if I'm gone.

I think I have been better off not socializing. If I can't be alright with myself, I won't be alright with anyone else, and they won't need to bother with me.

>>6627
Because of work reasons I was dragged off to internet cafe's at the age of 6 or so,I spent 4-12 hours a day there, everyday(averaging around 8-9 hours a day) until I was 11 and the internet cafe I went to went bankrupt. I actually had a few friends there, but they obviously couldn't be playing in the internet cafe as much as I, and our relationship was more like distant older brothers/little kid than anything else because they were all way older than me, so I spent the vast majority of my time alone. There was only a specific set of games there and because I was too young, and didn't know english or any sites in my native language basically everyday was spent playing the same games over and over again, at some point I started acting like there are various different me's in my head(like a tall one, fat one, etc. all with different opinions and ideas) and I would talk to them, though thankfully that stopped by itself after a few months.

I would almost never talk with my parents, because they woüld always come home past midnight, though I myself would go to sleep extremely late too(like 12pm as a 7 year old, a few years later I would start spending going to sleep only at 4-6am, and only get 4 or so hours of sleep a day because of school and whatnot). Until I was 11 or so I would rarely see my mother, and my relationship with her was extremely bad with her. I would rarely see my older brother too, since he got chased out of the house when I was 5 or so, and I've only seen my older sister 10 times or something my whole life.

At school I actually had a decent social life, several times I had my own little group of 3-4 people that I would lead, and in 4th grade I was the best friend of the class' "chad" so to speak; that same kid introduced me to anime, which basically became my downfall though.

Because my parents were always at work, and because I spent my entire childhood at the internet cafe without being let outside I couldn't navigate the streets at all, and due to that I spent every summer vacation at home with nothing to do, instead of playing with school friends.

At that time(summer vac of 4th grade) I had already learned english well enough to read english subtitles on anime without problem, and my brother had recently given me his PC too, so I started to watch anime on my PC, all the time. But that soon became a coping mPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>7063

I hope you're ok.

>>7063
going through the same shit as you man.
not that it means much coming from some ghost on a forum, but I hope things get less terrible for you.

>>7008
>>7009
Cringe

The question might be, "what did you not do".
Yet you may start finding yourself better when sending the opinions of others to the trash, stop clining on them the way you do

>>7054
>>7020
please go and stay go

>>7057
You are defending the pettiest teenage attempt to pose as an edgelord this website has seen in a long time, please remove yourself from adult websites.

>>7057
stop

>>7055
>leave all diaries, inmediately
You mean dairy? If you're lactose intolerant sure, but some people have an adapted gene to eat that stuff that developed over thousands of years.
>leave grains: no wheat, corn or rice at all
Pseudoscience, most cultures have developed alongside the domestication of these plants and our bodies are genetically disposed to them for the past 10,000 years.
>eat your foods within a reduced schedule, rather than through all the day long
Snacking all day can be bad but it depends what you eat and is tied into circadian rythem more than anything. There's no "right" or "wrong" eating schedule. If a person sleeps well there's nothing to worry about and it's very individual.
>avoid starchy foods and red meats
Why? Like all the other food recommendations, why? Both starchy foods and red meat we've eaten for thousands upon thousands of years. Ever hear of tuber foraging or hunting and gathering?
>if not vegetarian, eat meats briefly: like once a week or two weeks.
Meat is only bad if a person eats meat for every meal and their diet is unbalanced. Meat everyday is fine. It's like anything else if you don't eat anything but one thing.
>the softest meats are white fish
And Slavs eat bone soup.
>do you like nuts? disregard walnuts at least
Do you like plants that have been foraged for millennia upon millennia? Disregard some arbitrary ones because I say so.
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

20. I've lurked since the days of Dream vs Dream. Mindblowing to see others that are around my age in such numbers.

23, I first came here when some other imageboards were dying around 4 years ago.
>>6864
I’m surprised to see so many younger anons too. For some reason I thought this board skewed in the late 20s early 30s more.

18.

>>6853
Yes! And I'm here to take over the world for the elves! Mwahahahahahahaha!
…
Just kidding!
…
Or am I…?

im 34

I was a neet in my early 20s, got a job tanks to my parents, worked for a few years, lost my job over a year ago and just been sitting here

I feel like being a neet in your 20s was better / easier than it is now. I am going back to work since my money dried up but its so isolating as well.