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/hikki/ - NEET / Advice

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Captchas didn't work. Sticking to janitors while we try to think of something else.

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do any of you fantasize about the end of the world? even when I lose interest in all my other hobbies prepping and homesteading remain really alluring, something about imagining a scenario where I have control over my life.


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yeah i do, ive known about what the next decade will bring for some time now. though i dont have the mental capacity and motivation to actually prep or do something about it so im just waiting to die the next 5 years or so


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often. i think it's just a way to justify failing/dying. if it's not "my fault", i'm absolved of all guilt, as opposed to my current ugly spiral (and it's inevitable ending) being totally on me.


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Yeah, especially when my depression gets wild. I can't stop thinking about how humanity is always walking towards it's own destruction (and I kinda hope that the end comes soon enough so I can leave this place without hurting the few people that I have by my side)


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i dont really know what kind of world i'd rather live in, just as long as its cold and quiet, and only filled with memories of people


I am so lost, after finishing highschool i'm just stuck in the same place, I never had any friends IRL, I don't go outside except when I need to do grocery shopping, i'm not a shy person but I can't find anyone who is similar to me, I live in a rural area. I don't have money to do anything and even if I start working it seems like i'll just do it to survive, I hate living in this shitty third world country. I struggle with depression, adhd and depersonalization, I had decent grades at school back then then it just all went shit. Passing my classes with straight Cs. After finish school i'm just stuck, I can't go to university. My family treats me shitty, I got bullied in middle school and in highschool I started not caring and my 4 whole years went into trash without having any friends. I just want advice from someone who is in same position as me.


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What country or region of the world? This question impacts what kind of advice may or may not be useful. I never went to high school but I know it sucks for a lot of people.


I am also from a third world country, similar situation but it is my last year in college.
Have been bullied my whole life, have results coming and I know i have failed and my parents cannot afford it anyway. Haven't had friends since primary, prefer staying in my room. For some reason I have just been unable to study. I don't know why, I try but I cannot. Not to mention I keep having more and more issues that I have no control over. I'm basically waiting for this year, hoping I can do well because I know if I cannot move to another country I will finally have to consider whether I want to live anymore. It would be either that, or to try and repeat another year to fix my shit. Though even that is unlikely. There are still universities which will accept you despite mediocre or just plain shitty grades, try to see if you can find any. Then just try to study in uni, which is easy to say but I know it will be utterly miserable. But if you do that, then apply for a scholarship for Masters in another country. If you do not get a good enough scholarship, make sure to work part-time at least to make enough money to support yourself for the rest.
Though, my advice is not great. I am already too delusional about my future and I don't think I'll be able to move out anyway. But it's either that or to stop trying completely.


I suspect your lack of seizing initiative to study -much like my own case- is spearheaded by a lack of any communal push to incentivize you in doing so.
It is only natural, after all, that abstinence from something important [ in this case an intimate external element necessarily demanding some requirements of you for 'base' participation ] will ensue in the unwitting persistence of something insignificant [ anything that isn't *that* thing [ studying ] ]
I lost my ability to clearly speak physically after never having done so for only 8 months straight and to no surprise, with the added combination of neglecting social engagement on my part at all, I lost aspects of cognition like short term memory.
It's meaningless to me, now, anyway, and my efforts to exert some change, as I'm doing now, are probably pointless.
You get used to paradigms you create even if they're damning or maybe, despite them being damning, you still learn to thrive in them?
It's true that I can -and have- reaped motivation from toilets and seats in some of the most demanding of cases rather then colleagues and 'friends', sometimes still doing so today, so most significances warp to becoming insignificant in the progression to a new pattern.
OP if there's any silver lining to my above experience, it's that 'going outside' 'friends' 'similar people' 'depression' 'depersonalization' are eventually swept away by an ocean of numbness which will birth some degree of psychosis; definitely a failsafe triggered at the absence of all things needful.
Someone else or maybe yourself will lead you to a more appropriate path but if all things go wrong, know that it won't be too bad. You'll only be mentally decrypt in some ways and likely insane.


I think at this point no push could really help me. My only want in life so far has been to just leave it all behind to be alone, I would like to think that I could just commit suicide if I wanted to as a last resort but I don't think I'd ever be able to. I've already felt worse and worse for quite a while yet I still haven't. In the past couple years I especially started to go less and less outside, talked to less and less people and felt less and less comfort online and in real life. There wasn't anything for me to do in my day-to-day, there still isn't, so I just told myself that the reason other people could study while I couldn't was cause they had things in their life that gave them a reason to do so. Maybe things might go right, but I don't think they will. I like what you have written here, don't know what else to say.


Gosh man, I really sympathize with you, I'd say we're in similar boats, haha. I stopped going outside and even trying to socialize and interact with people and I get to feel uncomfortable being online and in real life. But I really believe in things will get better eventually, either that or I'm just lying to myself and I want to think that.

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Real quick, I'm a schizophrenic NEET on disability but because Murica I do not make enough to live off of on my own. I've always had to take roommates to share the rent with, and because most people don't do that for free, it's usually a romantic partner I move in with. Because I'm vulnerable and stupid, I end up falling for a person who hurts me, or even starts beating me and insulting me just to put me down. So I run away. I call a friend somewhere else in the States who can move me somewhere else, and then it starts again. I meet a person, they hurt me, I leave.

You get the point, basically. Medicaid is state based, so when you move elsewhere, you need to reapply for that state's version of Medicaid. As I've already been to half the states in the country, and already moved twice this year, it's been very hard to keep my medical benefits steady (they can take up to 100 days to approve an applicant after the forms are filled out or, if you have SSI, respond to a change of address.)

I can't get my meds so it's harder and harder to go outside, I can barely get food, and might be moving again in another few months too.

My family says they're willing to house and feed me and take care of the cost of my medicine, but the only stipulation is that I cannot bring anyone home with me. THe problem with this is that I'm extremely codependent, too broken to live for my own sake, so I need someone to lean on and be my purpose. But after 6 or 7 consecutive relationships that turned abusive, I'm really just thinking there isn't much hope for me living comfortably, or doing anything other than struggling like an animal every day to survive.

Are there any other diagnosed schizophrenics here whose conditions are severely disabling? If so, I'd love to know how you're all getting by, because I'm having a really tough time out here. (pic unrelated, just a drawing I did when I moved here)
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cry about it


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My brother in christ I'm not even a woman and I'm not even on estrogen, I couldn't afford that shit since losing my home… I'm male and was assigned male at birth. You clearly don't understand as much as you think you do about the way the world actually works if you of all people is so cocksure you can read people.


these long defensive paragraph posts are arguably more derailing than the hostile posters or at the very least furthering derailment.


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This would be true if OP were able to actually ignore the hostile posters. But since they haven't be able to I want to give them at least a little bit of positive pushback against those types of posters. If no one responds at all it normalizes that our board is just okay with that kind of posting, it's the culture here, and we're okay with effortposters being pushed away. I will leave it here because I agree going back and forth is pointless and doesn't help anything, but one post isn't too much or derailing, the thread was already derailed.


i am also in the same boat disability wise, i personally get by just barely with a romantic partner and a landlord who doesnt mind helping with medical stuff sometimes, tho i def need to reapply (they took my medicaid away for not having enough paperwork) the most i can say is try to hang in there, i know the feeling of going through a hard time as well, cause im def in the same boat

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Even knowing there's people in the same building as me makes it impossible to fully relax and be myself, and it kills any productivity. It feels so restricting.

How do you achieve complete isolation from humans?
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if his mom is letting them in and they have numbers, they clearly don't have a say


I'm in the same boat. I live in an apartment with three other people since I'm a college student, and sometimes I would rather piss in a cup and dump it later than risk bumping into anyone on the way to the shared bathroom.

When I go to supermarkets, the thought of how many people were required to make all the flooring/ceiling/racks/commodities makes me freak out. I feel like there's a million hands all reaching out at me. It doesn't help that I'm a Muricafag, so of course I feel scummy because the migrant people working the commercial bakeries and packaging machines and whatever are having an infinitesimally more difficult life just for me to be here pissing my pants at the thought of never being able to achieve real isolation.


I can relate. I've had to live with family in a cramped flat for the past 4+ years and it is actually so suffocating to the point that the only time I truly feel like I'm alone is during the middle of the night when everyone else is asleep.


They're filming with smartphones.


lmao just tell them to stop

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I'm not a hikki, but struggle with similar issues such as anxiety, isolation, alienation from others, loneliness etc… I can relate to a lot of people here. Because of some of my behaviour, I've started to wonder if I'm neurodivergent, possibly having autism or ADHD.

Some of these being:
- Hyperactive thoughts and restlesness due to it, and in this state going completely in an automatic mode
- Spacing out a lot, excessive daydreaming and maladaptive daydreaming
- Sensory sensitiveness, mostly to noise and I often experience a sensory overload and a shut down
- Very limited interests, if I don't have internal motivation to do something, I'm completely disinterested in it and have an extremely hard time completing it
- Liking sameness and getting distressed and annoyed when it's disturbed
- Difficulty recognizing what I'm exactly feeling, same with my desires and needs
- Clumsiness, often bumping to objects, poor motor skills.
- Liking and preferring being alone

There's a lot still to figure out but that's something… I'd say I'm quite emotionally intelligent, people often say that I'm good at conversing and they like talking to me because of that (in writing but still), so that makes me doubt it.. I also learnt to speak normally and to write at a quite young age too with ease. Sometimes I wonder if I'm just imagining it all, trying to make excuses for my inadequacy and laziness…

I've noticed that there are many neurodivergent people around, so that's why I'm posting this here… I'm planning to read more about it, but if anyone would like, I'm interested in hearing others' thoughts about this and experiences with such. Feel free to vent here too.


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I always had the feeling that all those mental illnesses are just completly made-up bullshit to frame people who dont fit in with society.

>Hyperactive thoughts

I consume a lot of media, read alot of articles and drink a lot of caffeine so my mind is always running, but I never experienced a "automatic mode"
>spacing out
I only space out when I have nothing to do and have to wait for something to happen like in the waiting room for a doctor.
>sensory sensitiveness
I do hate loud crowds of people.
>limited interests
I like vidya, music, history and technology
>liking sameness
I actually really hate repetitive and redundant routines. I completly hate it sitting in the same room with the same retards and doing the same shit for years. If I would have to work I would become something like a trucker or pilot where I always visit new places and meet new people.
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

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Is there an effective way to deal with harassment?

I got myself into a bad situation on social media, and it's making me want to isolate, or just fall back on old habits.
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that character is qt.
i should learn to draw tbh, i want to draw something like that.


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Touhou. The artist is Sentaku-sen on pixiv. He made a series called Koishi Komeiji's Heart Throbbing Adventure, which features Koishi as the main character and starts out with rough drawings. The art improves during later episodes:


Art takes a lot of practice, but it can be a fun hobby to get into.


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I'll try to summarize this without getting into specifics.

There's a fandom I'm a part of which has users dictating content that gets made. Anti-types from places like tumblr. Back in March, a fan wrote an analysis of a character from games in the series, which garnered a negative reaction. It was well done- a thoroughly fascinating read, but people didn't see it that way. The anti crowd targeted this person, looking into their personal works for information to use against them and creating memes about it, jokes that were quickly run into the ground. Their response was to make a video essay further explaining their viewpoints/the drama without attacking anyone. It was an hour long, but didn't feel like it- the whole thing made me view the series in a way I had never considered before, and they included humor to keep things lighthearted. However, people didn't bother to watch, harassing them further.

I've been there before, with others looking down on me for creating something they dislike, so I made a post in support of the author. Detractors began attacking me next, and the user who was targeted didn't respond. This will sound like a foolish move, but I tried something else afterwards: creating a comic to sort of defuse everything, which seemed to work. People stopped after that. I didn't get as many responses, but because of what went down I'm considering leaving social media entirely, or just avoiding the fandom.

So that's what happened. I know it's stupid to care so much. The whole situation is pretty ridiculous. This happened just as I was dealing with personal issues in real life, and it feels like everything's getting worse.


I would not have cared, absolutely. Just kept on posting whatever i want, if you don't use your real identity then whats the harm? more fame for you.


Give them no attention, but never forget.

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I wish I could go back and start over more than anything. Despite only leaving my house once a week I somehow still have some friends that invite me out for board games and stuff. But I can see the writing on the wall, I'm getting older, not quite hopeless yet but approaching hopeless. My 30s loom over me like a darkling plain, past approaching and unforgiving.

I have so much trouble just talking to people, even people I like, even people I've known for years. I have anxiety for days sometimes even a week leading up to hanging out with someone. I always have lists of things I want to do to try to improve but barely accomplish even a 10th of the things on them. In one part because of my aweful habit to procrastinate on everything even sleep, when sleep really should be my best friend.

Yet, in the other part I have crippling anxiety being around people almost universally. Only my mother manages to make me feel truly at ease and she'll be dead in a few decades and then it will just be me.

Why did it have to be like this? What can I even do? I've been depressed over not even getting to go to high school for the past half decade of my life once I realized far too late how important and formative the experience would have been. Instead I dropped out at the age of 17, and it took more years yet to realize how much of a fuck up that was.

I never got bullied by other children as an adolescent really, the problem was always the adults. Peg the weird kid as an autist and segregate him. That's all they ever did, segregated classes, segregated bus, segregated school programs, whole segregated schools and eventually solitary confinement for refusing to do schoolwork. I was never violent, just depressed and unwilling to move, what an offense to the people who were supposed to be there for me the most during some of the most important years of my life.

And now hear I am. Still terrified to go outside because it was conditioned into me to be terrified. I've since been diagnosed with PTSD from all this. I don't know what to do, I don't know how to relate and maintain the energy others do. I try but where others seem to get energized by social interaction it just exhausts me for days and weeks and throws me into spirals where all I can do is laze around and play old video games. Yet I need the interaction, and I need the motivation they have to get better while there's still time… thanks for reading my blog if you did ubPost too long. Click here to view the full text.


I don't have any solutions for you, but one thing I can say is there are plenty of people who make it when they're older than that. I tend to get fixated on youtubers so sorry for ecelebshit but the one that comes to mind at the moment is Danny from game grumps. He was poor for a long time and had to ask his parents for money all the time until some time in his 30s he started making a living from his band and then a bit later a huge living from playing video games. Also Arin was a high school dropout https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A-Aol9-UiTU
Don't focus too much on repairing aspects of your mentality, I mean still do that, but mostly think about what you want to accomplish in the real world and do it despite your flaws. It's really cool that you have friends, let them help you accomplish something. People like being helpful and feeling needed, they like working on projects with their friends, and even if yours don't want they'll still feel happy that you thought them worthy of asking. Even just letting them know about a project you're doing will peer pressure you into completing it. Peer pressure is an incredible motivator, maybe the best especially for anxious people, that's a weakness you can turn into a strength. I really liked the videos you posted by the way.


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Oh all that stuff about your friends goes for your mum too.

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post itt if you are sickly as well as NEET

i got CFS/ME/SEID/whatever docs wanna call it, but basically im too tired to leave the house or even bed most of the time, and its not depression or anything mental

also get mad headaches, nausea, and dizziness from just standing up

also relevant is itt NO BULLYING ALLOWED!!
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Fucking hell lads I made it, I literally cried tears of joy yesterday on hearing the news. I've been working as an au pair in Poland since early January, and the host mom got me an interview in the local private school as an English teacher. We fucking made it.

My house is still hopefully about to be sold, but my life is finally where I wanted it to be. Living in Poland is great I have friends here and been dating, just need to get in shape again after the year off since getting COVID on my birthday last February brought back chronic fatigue symptoms.

My dad is in the process of going bankrupt but I'll be fine at least. Sister just applied for her master's and is doing well. Mom and stepdad well.

Follow your dreams and never give up lads :)


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Your Cat is nice, otherwise wrong board jackass. You're not a hikki, you're not even a NEET. And I don't want to see your face either.


I was for 7 years and this is my thread fuck off


I ran out of my vitamin D supplements not long ago and I'm beginning to face the effects without it. Being a hikki especially one who's been inside for 6 months now I know it won't go well without it - going to reup soon.

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I've been thinking about this for quite a long time. I'm a hikki and NEET, don't have an education and am disabled. What are some ways I could I get by when/if things go sour, or if I want to leave this lifestyle? I am probably too far gone already, but hopefully one of these can work for you. This topic gets discussed a lot in NEET/hikki communities, but I'm mentioning a lot stuff I don't see listed elsewhere. Don't believe anyone who tells you "bro you have to go out and work a job, sorry, that's life." Fuck that noise! Some of these are fully sustainable, some are risky, just for short-term cash, or a small amount of passive income. Some of these are kind of out there and and may not work well in practice.

(You'll want to read the first reply to this thread for a continuation, the body was way too long.)

>Pornographic artist/developer

Porn artists and porn game developers can make serious money through both commissions and Patreon. The more depraved/niche you're willing to do (gay, furry, scat etc.), the better the pay is. Porn games can also make a lot more money than just doing porn art.

>Boosting people, competitive vidya

I've done this when I was a GM Overwatch player, but I don't play that game anymore. With enough skill and time put in, you could sustain yourself completely with this. Hard part is getting a reputation at the beginning, you need to be patient. Should be smooth sailing from there, as long as major changes to the game don't fuck you up.

>Game cheat developer

Subscription private cheats. You can read and learn a lot about cheat development on forums like UnknownCheats. It's really not that hard; if you know C or C++, you're ready to get started. Cheat development is fun, too. Alternatively, use your undetected private cheat for boosting people more reliably.

>The Amazon affiliate program

This is a little complicated to explain here. It involves creating websites and SEO. You'll want to read this, it actually has some good information, explained better than I ever could: https://old.reddit.com/r/Entrepreneur/comments/5mzpz6/in_2016_i_made_31615415_via_the_amazon_affiliate/
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.
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Here are PDF and txtfiles of the 4th book. It's also on Amazon. I don't plan on writing anymore. Sometimes I give them away like this on other -chans too




I will read.


Very cool!

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I've given up with my life and want to end it but I also want to end it as well for a fuck ton of over people what do?

[spoiler] Thinking about blowing up a crowded subway car or something.
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Quick, take a pic of your butthole as it is right now so we can compare it to when you get out of prison.

Also, was uboa down for a few hours for anyone else?


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and I would have gotten away with it too if it weren't for you meddling kids


What's the point of killing a bunch of random people who have done nothing to you? The only thing you'll achieve is increasing misery in the world.


I assume OP was some troll, but it's obvious as to why people do things like that: It's because they want to induce that misery in people. A mere "directionless" person without anger or frustration probably wouldn't want to do a mass attack. It's people who want to "get back" at society in the aggregate by causing as much physical and psychological damage to the collective as possible. Of course, this lashing out often leads to the person's death, but there is a clear goal to it, and it is often done by disadvantaged people like high school dropouts such as Ramos, Cruz, Steinhauser, etc.
This explains many untargeted attacks by non-political killers.


based, fuck people who threaten to kill others

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