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/hikki/ - NEET / Advice

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Have any of you ever thought that you were born to be a reclusive, socially inept hikki? I know I was, given my circumstances and mental health. The universe placed us within our own trapped minds and didn't spare a wink.

But hey, at least it's peaceful living like this.
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It's so surreal to think that most people have lives and I don't. Even if I stopped being a hikki, I could never have a normal life, let alone a fulfilling life with nice memories.

Then there's the suicide option which is not that good because it would affect other people, not that anyone would miss me but I don't want to ruin anyone's mental health.

It's one of those things where you have no true solution, you have to make incredible efforts to be *normal* and barely even that, while people who started out in a better place have the means to do more. And when you draw the line at the end, who had the more important life? They don't give a fuck that the odds were against you since the beginning.


Hey hikki we do have lives just not normalfag ones but can still enjoy the isolation lifestyle if you cannot stand not being physically near people you are unlucky hikki because I really love being isolated from people :3
Fuck being "normal"


>>6421 yeah isolation is the best!


Same.Staying at home is much more preferable then going out and dealing with other people.


I've made my peace with it. Considering a lot of different factors, yes it was provably destined to be like this

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>basically didn't leave my home during middle-school because bullying, depressed

>2~3 year of highschool were the best, actually made some friends and hang out with them

>got into college, was so motivated and happy

>my high school friends stop talking to me

>some only talk to me when they want something and when I try to talk to them they ignore me, so I don't know if they are my friends anymore

>start becoming lonely and depressed

>doesn't even have friends on the internet

>doing well in college but at the expense of my sanity

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Not them, but I don't know where to look. I used to post my drawings on tumblr while it was alive, and surprisingly made some decent connections. It sounds silly, but I can't remember how. Time went on, and all those connections are gone now anyway. These days I only have a modest twitter, since I don't like having social media in the first place. Some neat artists follow me, but I have 0 idea how to initiate. I don't like the idea of just DM'ing and saying "Hi, what's up". Maybe we don't even have good chemistry. I don't like the idea of finding people on discord either. It's got a lot of people that aren't my type. All I can find online are either embarrassing meme lgbt weebs, or hans get ze flammenwerfer guys. Anyone exempt who did seem alright, we're really silent, and communication died pretty quick. I hate being the one that has to keep prodding for conversation.

I don't know where I fit in, I don't know where to look. A while back I was even desperate enough to try tossing my hat in /soc/. Besides some people back from highschool, uboachan is the closest I've felt to fitting in before.


Same. Only that I don't have people irl.


That's pretty much how I feel. In a way, the internet is even worse than real life. I can think of things I could do in real life. Going to the right places would probably work, and allow coincidences to happen. On the internet, I have to be active, but how and where? Even if I go to a place full of people, the fact that it's online doesn't make me suddenly like interacting with groups of people. It's terrible.


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Finding similar interests seems to be the key. Discord is weird in that you can join a server for pretty much any anime or gacha game from the last 6 years, and instantly join an autistic 24/7 conversation about say, shipgirls, since that's the channel's only topic. But those people rarely become your friends. The best luck I've had with making friends is finding people with the same sexual preferences and fetishes. It's kind of sad. The men I connect with the most are the ones where we can share pictures and circlejerk together. Outside of them, I'm always the one to initiate. I used to be a coomer who regularly fapped twice/day. I've since cut it down to once every other day, but it seems it hasn't changed me mentally beyond regaining self-control. I can actually spend entire days focusing on my real hobbies without a sexual thought, but they're all solitary. Like I said before, similar interests help but it's not healthy if those interests just make you and your friends enable eachother endlessly. Pic related - I've formed some deep friendships around this fetish.


Of course, common interests are a necessity. But I wonder why sexual interests would work better. Seems very strange to me to form connections through that, with people that I'm not even sexually interest in. Not sure if I could do it myself.

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i was a neet at a certain point and i was put in a psychiatric hospital because of it, it didnt help at all and made my condition and my comfortableness with being in my room bad, what im saying is i cant be comfortable while in my room beause of my experinces.


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What did you experience for you not to be comfortable in your room anymore, anon?


>not being comfy in a room because been in a psychiatric hospital
What is it about this that made you uncomfy I am the same and for me it was having people come forcibly remove me and place me with schizos to "help" me.


>i was a neet at a certain point and i was put in a psychiatric hospital because of it
Sounds like your family fucking sucks, dude.

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I'm sure many of you know this feel:

>Realize you need to go somewhere with your life or everything will end horribly when you least expect it to

>Attempt to get something done

>If not 5 minutes later, you are eventually hit by a varying intense level of depression while attempting to do whatever task you decided, as if by facing your life, you can no longer not face how you are feeling.

>end up going back to the computer to distract yourself from the pain after only getting 1 thing done if you are lucky.

For any former NEETs here, how the fuck did you get past this? I feel the more I force myself to endure the depression the more depressed I get and the harder it is to get shit done, as fucking pretentious edgelordriffic as that unintentionally sounds.
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That's retarded, being able to fit in society is a matter of your own perspective.


not to say i am a former NEET but i have recovered/relapsed several times, sometimes with years of non-NEETism inbetween the severe relapses (first NEET experience @ 12yo, didn't leave my house more than 6 times that year, and only by force/coercion)

anyway i have never "gotten past" this but finally getting diagnosed with autism and ADHD at the age of 29 sure helped a fucking lot in terms of explaining things (besides the crippling depression, part of which but not all can be attributed to going undiagnosed)

Not going to pretend like things get better and stay better consistently - they absolutely don't- but with the right therapist (HAHAHA GOOD LUCK) and the right meds (again GL finding those) things can improve.


I cannot even watch anime naymore I do not even know how I spend my time I just exist and hate existing and rely on drugs if I have any please do not reach this stage it is horrible.
What is the point of improving if there is nothing to improve for??


Society disagrees.


We all need to do "something" with our lives, but you need to define that yourself or you're going to end up like most people on this board.

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Hello everybody, I just find this forum. It's been almost a year since I became a NEET. I tried for a few months to go to college but it did not work. I wonder what people like me think about the future. Do you think we can go on like this forever? Well, I have no ambition, and I think things will never change. Do you wanna change?
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Please call them. The best you can do is the best you can do. The best you can do changes when you make a mistake. If you don't call them, you won't learn how to do better.

>But if I could be NEET forever I would, because less people can hurt me if I stay away from them.

I used to be a NEET for a while for this very reason.

Now it's been a few years.

Now I think, "less people can love me if I stay away from them."


It takes a toll on one's mind and body not to do anything for an extended amount of time.
Long story short, I had an incident one time when I went outside. A life changing, broken bones sort of incident. And it made me fucking paranoid to go outside again. I just want to stay inside constantly, but fuck, I also want to enjoy life. I don't want to be a miserable douchebag with no aspirations, I want to enjoy myself.
However, I'm literally scared of everything. So back to feeling shit and being a NEET I go.


I feel this to be true.
I've been NEET for 7 years now and I feel blessed for having time work on hobbies, learning things and a whole lot of procrastination without really having to worry about the future.

When I was still being push to become something and work on some kind of schedule it made me insanely unhappy each time and I basically never got along with more people at those places either.
If being a NEET isn't destroying you mentally somehow I'd say you should savor it as long as you can, because for most people it will only be a phase in life.


I've been a NEET since 2011, following a suicide attempt partially due to university at the time. I've done nothing ever since, I've made a few attempts at getting back into uni but they've all failed so far. I'm thinking of getting a certificate III in something or maybe even a diploma if I'm capable.

I've wanted to change for a long but my only real motivator for that died a few years back and I've kind of just been floating ever since. I've tried talking to friend and family about it but they don't seem to understand, take me seriously, I struggle effectively opening up or all three of those. I do like the idea of helping people, especially teenagers and new adults figure things out and to avoid them ending up like me, a decade after graduating high school and having achieved nothing. My social anxiety and other mental issues will be a big problem with doing that though, since I barely know how to talk to people properly besides my grandparents and friend or saying basic shit to cashiers while getting served. While I guess I could have fucked up worse, could have gotten on drugs harder than weed, had a bunch of kids I couldn't look after or get an STD or something on par with those, I still feel like a major fuck up for the past decade of absolutely nothing. It's to the point that I have dreams about getting a similar job to my cashier job I had in high school and going over how I fucked that job up, but as an adult this time.

The decade of NEETdom has kept me back, like time while physically continuing feels like it should have stopped at one point. One way I look at it is from console generations. I graduated high school in 2010, the peak of the 360 and PS4, not those consoles are gone, the Wii store is gone, the servers for games I heard were coming out soon are closing and it feels like I just blinked, the consoles that replaced those consoles will be gone soon to.
The three main things I've considered studying to help get me a job is:
Cert III in Health Services Assistance - basically become a hospital orderly
Diploma of Nursing - become an enrolled nurse
Bachelor of Accounting - become an accountant
The bachelor degree will take at least three years to complete though, while the other two are between 12-18 months. This was a mess of a post. My bad. In short, I'm not happy and I'm trying to fix that.


what are you doing step-rifle

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 No.812[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

what do you do when you are depressed?

OP cries under the bed
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Atleast you had a girlfriends and have active friends to cry to.


I agree, especially with last point. My brain always focusses on the negatives and accepting happiness and become alien for it.


I still shower, brush and maintain my daily hygiene. Sometimes it makes me temporarily but no significant changes in the long run. I guess I do these activities to convince myself that I am actively doing something productive


I see. Does it help? Also, do you do meditation of any kind?


Some people have a gene that allows them to function on less sleep. Do you feel drowsy and/or less productive during the day?

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Sometimes I have this feeling that I would have been a lot better off if I decided to drop out. From what I recall, majority of the times it wasn't all about learning and instead asserting your own dominance in the social hierarchy and social standing. Maybe even stooping down to someone elses level at the expense of your own self. There were also some social pressures and expectations I had to meet which screwed up with my productivity and learning since I was worrying most of the time. Which makes me come to think that isolating myself from all the nonsense and reprioritising would have been a better approach.


I did drop out and I regret it heavily. I got my GED at 17 and got into community college no problem (before that went tits up in its own unique way.) High school has a tremendous amount of hierarchical social bullshit. Yet, not everyone there is like that and I regret not having the opportunity to meet those people and have friends. Plus, it's overwhelmingly lonely and depressing to be in my current situation now where all the young people are feeding themselves to the leviathan instead of building community. At least in high school I would have been around people my age.

I commend you for desiring focus. I too want this, just with other mutually complimenting people. I'm no monk.


Wise words, anon.

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I'm honestly shocked I've made it through this year so far and I haven't off'd myself for all the crap that's happened.

I'm at least thankful that I still have a job even with the pandemic happening but it's a job given to me by my own parent. The job itself which doesn't have permanency and doesn't even give me enough pay for me to properly live on my own which yeah, that means I still live with my parents.

Last year I ended up flinging my diploma due to not passing two courses within it and this year I haven't even been given any thumbs up in trying to finish that and even then I feel so tired of constant study for a job that I'm not 100% that I'd even be fine with for most of my life. Yet it feels that I've come this far with what I've learnt from there that it's the only way I can go here on out.

God and socially this year has been horrible to. My girlfriend for 3 years broke up with me after having visited her city 3 times before and feeling like something could actually happen. I loved her so dearly and even now I can barely get over her just, sobbing really thinking about it.

On top of that a social group I had been with for longer started calling me a pedo due to the age she was when we started dating, which is both none of their business and ultimately wrong since there was nothing like that involved and even if it was were not even in the bloody U.S. where there's rules like that, but regardless they kicked me out and threw me under the bus, making lies up about the ages and when it even started.

My only social solace has been in two small groups which may as well be full of the same kinds of people in here, NEET-like and in conditions close to that of hikkis. Not to mention in one of them there's a single person who drives attention to himself completely ignoring me passing me off as annoying and I just left that entire circle because of that… Just how the hell does one get out of this soup? I feel like going on I'm just going to rot away as some failure despite all the "success" I've had up to this point. I've lost the one person I truly loved and there's now a group of people that wish I never existed.

I'm sorry if this isn't something that fits into this board but… I just think after this year I'm just going to permanently be confined to a screen in a vein hope to find happiness.


What groups, anon?


I'd prefer not to say. Not just for myself but also because I still respect my ex, despite how I'm still depressed over the breakup. A friend of hers tried to stand up for me on her behalf but that old group I was with still kept to their lies despite her efforts.

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I'm just trapped in an endless swirling antlion pit of worthlessness, what do I do?

I've been socially isolated and excluded from having friends ever since I was a little kid because I have debilitating ADHD, depression, anxiety, autism ect.

After barely scraping through highschool, I managed to move out of my abusive parents' house into a shoddy bedroom rental in a house full of real creepy normie cis dudes. At this point I somehow managed to make a girlfriend online because we're both NEETs and after a couple years of dating and mailing my stuff to her house in boxes because moving services aren't affordable, and finally took a plane to move in with her.

We've lived together for about two years now and she's the light of my life and the only reason I haven't offed myself. But after two years, dozens of resumes, and the fucking ocean of spaghetti I've spilled trying to hand them out, I still can't find work.

Her parents are nice enough to let me live here rent free until I can find work, but I've just become such a parasite. I don't know what to do. I'm trying so hard and the world refuses to acknowledge it. Help.


I think this post is more properly suited for /rec/


Try a part time work meanwhile you search someting more stable


I agree. I think what's important is to keep you from drowning in your own mind and stop moving forward. Any from of foothold or ledge to grab on would be good. Or not. So far like all I ever do is curl in to a ball and wait for things to go away. This "just grab a crap job and figure it out from there" is my go to self-reassurance when ever I remember that I'm actually old enough to be executed for serious crimes and shits while not having a slither of any practical skills to funtcion as an adult and haven't once attempting to redeem myself. I haven't made any steps, I don't really know if it works or not. This entire reply makes no sense and probably is the summary of my entire literature skills but you have come so far to drown now. Trying to keep your head above water, you got this, I hope.

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I've been a neet for 3 years, and my concentration and memory is dog shit now. I' m getting tired of this lifestyle, but it also feels impossible to move on. How can I study properly now? Or be trusted not to fuck up at work? I hate how I basically made myself retarded.

Even when I was in school I asked stupid questions/made stupid mistakes that would make people give me 'are you fucking stupid?' looks. They always say there's no such thing as a stupid question, but it's just lip service. I'm tired of people's judgement for being slow, especially if I'm around others and can't think properly because people make me so nervous. But I also want to do something worthwhile with my life.


Well, if you're able to keep your grades up with lots of effort, then it is just a matter of getting past the judgements of others. I've personally delt with a lot of imagining that people are criticizing me silently, and I have come to the conclusion that it's bullshit and people don't work like that. Even if you do get looks it doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things so long as you're working to get where you want to be. People won't care if they thought someone in their class was stupid once they get home.
Studying can be difficult if you've gone a long time without exercising your brain, but it's just something you need to build up. Learning something logic related like math would probably help. Don't fall into thinking you can't because you're stupid, the brain is built on effort.
As far as work goes, so what if you're the squeaky wheel? What are they gonna do, fire you? If you're just getting a job, you're probably not working with nuclear reactors. Minor fuckups don't matter. Just make it to work on time, communicate enough to get the job done, and try your best.


What have you done in those 3 years you think it were so detrimental? Even games and watching anime requires some level of concentration.
>try your best.
That's it pretty much. Pick the subject matter you want to study and start reading about it. Not much else you can do I guess.


I don't have anything to add to OP but I would just like to say my memory problems are becoming really scary for someone my age late 20's but damn it has gotten bad. Any remedies would be much appreciated. Hope you are doing well, OP, and everyone else

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