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/hikki/ - NEET / Advice

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Captchas didn't work. Sticking to janitors while we try to think of something else.

File: 1489678260825.jpg (40.83 KB, 384x342, tSy.jpg)

 No.2809[Reply]

Any long-term / no experience NEETs want to share their stories? Or just your existence.

>23

>never had a job
>barely got through school
>haven't left the house in 5 months, haven't left the house for an actual reason in over 2 years
>haven't had a social life in 5 years
>No traumatic past
>no medical issues / disabilities
>not rich / privileged enough to justify or explain it
>not poor / struggling enough to be without internet, food, warmth, privacy

I'm in a really weird and shitty place at the moment. I'm constantly guilty, suicidal, apathetic, angry, scared, lonely, antisocial, bored, tired, and in a state of malaise.

I'm physically and mentally able. I can work, I can think, I can deal with people. Yet I'm a parasite.
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.
47 posts and 7 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.6589

>>6588
I have 'only' autism and I have had pip/esa for 8 years with three reviews. I think the key to communicating your problems is provide copies of diagnosis papers and write to criteria on each point.

 No.6590

>>6589
Yeah, going in with all the information you can is essential. Won't stop them trying to put you in the ESA work related group for shits and giggles, though.

 No.6591

>>6590
It has for me so far. I want to stress that it is *vital* the paperwork is filled out thoroughly, with tons of evidence such as diagnosis papers, reports from psychiatrists/psychologists, any contact with care or related services. It also helps to have involvement with Citizens Advice. On the day of your assessment it's vital you don't mask and must present your difficulties in a bare and truthful way.

It is 60% detailed paperwork evidence, 30% filling in the application paper to tie your difficulties to the criteria and 10% baring all at your face to face (many people make the mistake of dressing up/masking for an 'official' event). Hope that helps.

 No.6596

File: 1622198003262.jpg (124.63 KB, 1440x900, sab_misaki.jpg)

I've been told and diagnosed with issues, yet I don't agree with this assessment, for at least 5/6 years ive been a neet/hiki.
For the most part I don't mind it but sometimes it can be a pain, I wish others were able to understand.

 No.6624

I can share and I will share from the perspective of others as I have a poor ability to introspect and deny I have anything wrong with me. Sorry my english

I am NEET and hikikomori for a long time.
Medical issues are many but mental ones.
I am disabled according to the doctors and state so get looked after by people.
I do not desire anything more than this bed and some media to consume.
This includes relationships.

I try to make friend but shy away in the end only to vanish as it is not enjoyable.
Suicide also is something I think of a lot and have material to do so however but scared.
I get confused often about myself and the people around me.

Isolation has made me unable to relate to people even on the internet and in person there is no hope. I understand people but I do not find happy time in what they like.
Many years now on my own with my own thoughts and I do not know myself.

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 No.6530[Reply]

I will die alone.

 No.6532

File: 1618468547093.jpg (84.14 KB, 600x800, 1617436814149.jpg)

We all will

 No.6621

File: 1625115926695.png (327.54 KB, 383x431, Capture (2).PNG)

Can't wait to.



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 No.6594[Reply]

I blocked almost all imageboards, forums, porn sites, discord and youtube from my router, changed the password to a random one hard to type one, and scheduled an email to be sent to myself with the password one mont from now.

For three days I have been cut from using the internet as cheap entertainment. I wonder if I should have cut music streaming sites too.

Seems like I missed blocking this site but it doesn't seem too active anyway so I'm safe.

Manga and books are getting a bit stale. Went through four of each.

I don't know what I'm going to accomplish with this. I'm curious if anyone has done this nosurf/nofap/whatever thing. I don't really care for the outcome.

 No.6595

>>6594
As you i've been fighting with all of the poison that the world of the internet had normalized, i can tell you from my experience that just virtually blocking the websites won't really help at all in the long term. A thing that has really helped me is thinking about my condition as a living and rational human being that has control over his actions, if i fall on watching porn or whatever thing that causes me danger it isn't because some strange possesion that's going over me, it's because i voluntarily wanted do it and i did so, and if i have all the control to do those things that are really hurting me, why can't i do the same for just stop doing it? That thought is something that i've managed to be really present in my mind. Another thing that i suggest you to do is seeking help, go to a psychologist and talk about your problems i can ensure you that will really help. I'm sorry if i didn't explain myself well i ain't a native english speaker. I really hope that you will be clearing your mind and having a good life.

 No.6597

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A month is excessive. Nofap/nosurf don't really work as advertised. I recommend going 2 days without internet first. During that time, you either do something productive or find offline entertainment. What you're looking for is similar to a dopamine detox, only it's a "digital" detox. What difficulty do you want?

a) No Internet (internal network traffic is fine)
b) No Internet, PC, or phone if you have one
c) No screens at all. Only paper media, radio etc. are allowed for entertainment.

As >>6595 alluded to, blocking sites or relying on other external resources won't work as well as your own willpower. You must be able to get to a point where you still have unfettered access but can disconnect at will. At that point, you're using your devices and not the other way around. I stopped using shitcord entirely from mid-March to mid-May this year and it was very calming and empowering. More free time, less pseudo-social urges. Regarding youtube specifically, you can take away 90% of its addictive power by not using the app ever, and only looking at your subscriptions. You can even make RSS feeds out of your subs.

 No.6610

I've taken various internet breaks from a few months to a year. You kinda have to have a solid goal your internet addiction was keeping you from achieving to get real results, otherwise you just feel kind of bored and are likely to come back the same as ever and repeat the same habits.

But maybe after a month of cold turkey you'll see how vapid and dull a lot of the content out there is. Most of it feels so stupid I just cba to look or care. imo even the hardcore digital/dopamine detox stuff is in a similar realm of retarded and still saps up your time. Just think of the internet as a pantry packed full of sweets you know better than to binge on and practice mindfulness. But yeah, sometimes it helps to throw out all the junk at first.



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 No.6442[Reply]

I hate people who glorify pain and suffering and "hard work" at the expense of your own health, free time and happiness. Suffering doesn't make you deep, it's not meaningful, and most importantly it's not necessary. These people brag about working 13 hours a day just so that other people can see how much they can endure. From an outside perspective, they look stupid. If you can find shortcuts, why not try them?

The people who win at life are the ones who know how to enjoy it, and you just know that the martyrs are seething with jealousy. This is where their criticism comes from (mainly about freelancers but also some neets), that they are shallow, that they have it easy, or "why do they make money sitting on their ass while I put in hard work"? Well, tough luck I guess? You're not superior for having a shitty life.
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 No.6480

>>6442
I usually assume you work 13h with shortcuts , smart AND hard.

Also i kinda with i had their willpower so i can do stuff i like and not burn out. A subconcious part of me kinda wants to be like that but it might be because i have the opposite problem of having piss poor willpower/motivation even towards doing stuff i like (burning on hobbies a lot) rather than a desire to work myself to death , could also be soceital glorification of this lifestyle influencing me a bit (you are not immune to propagnda) .

I do recognise its unhealthy tho.

 No.6521

>>6444
> Otherwise all you'll ever know is sitting at home watching anime and being kinda comfy.
And what's wrong with that? That's hardly an argument in favour of suffering.

 No.6522

>>6521
"Kinda" is the key word. You will never discover the real joys of living. It's an existence you could take or leave.

 No.6523

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>>6522
>the real joys of living
Life is only pain. Why be some fake conformist wannabe yuppie when you can embrace the truth and write poetry about death and post it online in a shrine to your pain?

 No.6524

>>6442
I wholeheartedly agree. This is especially present in the field I was thinking about getting into - Computer Science.
It seems everyone there tries to become ultra-productive little code monkeys, spending most of their time doing pointless boring shit.
Even though, I'm somewhat interested in the field itself, this sort of behavior turns me off from it really hard.



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 No.6062[Reply]

I'm curious, have any refugees from magicchan or /tower/ found their way here?
7 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.6200

>>6172
You're fucking retarded.

 No.6205

>>6169
>>6174
>>6197
Not that anon but we can now be found at https://anon.cafe/tower/ . Hope you guys find this post.

Are any of you the mage with the 2 dogs? It would be nice to see him again

 No.6211

>>6169
You still here, anon?

 No.6500

File: 1617437242594.jpg (22.78 KB, 240x240, unnamed.jpg)

>>6211
oh yes, kosmiku warrior raidy here.

relaaaaxxxxxxxx.

 No.6520

>>6062
>>6169
what happened , is magicchan and magichan any different from wizchan where they call women succubi or whatever the fuck

Also looked up wizchan again to see if i remembered it correctly , seems like wizchan is down as well.

Dont know if the term succubus has a negative connotation in the board culture or its a term that carries no bad connotation because its evolved from the term wizard as virgin because women can take away your magic virginity essence (and your "wizard" status) as i havent been on the site, just saw like 2 threads

I have stumbled upon https://incelwiki.com/w/Wizchan somehow

According to the wiki: "Though still part of the incelosphere, the forum is pretty hostile to incels who express that involuntariness"

I can assume succubus is supposed to be some sort of slur



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 No.6231[Reply]

I have failed again it seems that I keep wasting a day away and then starting the work at the last moment, I have tried every reformation but it all makes it go worse I don't know what I can do to fix it, I dunno what gets into me in the day, I have no idea about why I made the decisions I made, what the fuck do I do? what the fuck can I do right now to ensure that I don't fuck up tomorrow morning? it's as if I am a different person, I really have no fucking idea anymore, everything I have tried has failed, I can't fucking give up.

I broke every vow I ever took over the past few years, I lied and lied whenever it was convenient

I was able to stop being a neet but I only ended up making my situation worse, I am trying to cover HS with homeschooling since I dropped out ages ago.

I have no idea what I should do I wish I was convinced in what I was doing but every fibre of my body wants to go back to being a neet, I have to cover up an years syllabus in 2-3 weeks if I don't wanna waste an year.

 No.6312

>>6231
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xcpGonKvJEI&list=OLAK5uy_ll80T7kcfjh1kSxtIVwBQ2ciISob1Kv0I&index=10

What exactly is keeping you from achieving, anon? Lack of concentration? Laziness? Too much to do?

 No.6506

>>6312
>>6231

From my personal experience social media is a big time sink , think reddit snapchat instagram and tiktok and perhaps even youtube. I whould say youtube is the best out of the aforementioned imo as "entertainment platforms" because you can just put in in the backround while you persue a hobby (ie. drawing) but can still be a big time sink.

And you dont even realise it , you just get from work/school/wakeup/whatever the fuck you where supposed to do then go on social media and start mindlessly scrolling , its more of a reflex/reaction than anything , like if bored then social media , but because you get a steady ammount of dopamine/seretonin you keep browsing , the ammount isnt great , its just enought to make you feel "meh" and most importantly for the owners of the app, its enought to keep you there for the longest ammount of time.

Again , its more of a reflex than an addiction , i have quit reddit by getting the "delayed gratification" plug in , setting a 30 sec timer on reddit every 5 min and it seems to have worked. While i turned to youtube and grindy repetitive videogames/playing them in a grindy repetitive manner/stuff that doesnt require a lot of mental effort.

I whould usually have some sort of withdrawl when i stopped playing videogames (it was just mental: aka bad feelings like apathy) but for reddit nothing changed wherer i was browsing or not. same sensation of apathy. Just the reflex like sensation that comes from time to time by some triggers that i am not aware of (likely boredom triggers it time to time) that is usually fought off by the 30s countdown

TL:DR: Quit social media , its not as hard as you think it is,the delayed gratification plugin is a god send for it.

(Delayed gratification plugin: https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/delayed-gratification/ifhndomfnbmggdgodaicfebeggdphlcn?hl=en)



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 No.5331[Reply]

When I have to interact with people, quite often, they will find a way to misinterpret my anxiety. There are many misinterpretations, but they all seem to revolve around the other person involved. They think I must only be anxious because of them, not realizing that people with social anxiety are pretty much always anxious around people, except perhaps around their family members or a small group of friends. But around people they don't know, they will be anxious.

I have been accused of racism for being anxious around non-white people at my college's cafeteria, despite the fact that I get social anxiety around white people too. One time, a female counselor implied that I must be anxious around women, not understanding that I am anxious around men too. People have said thinks like "anon is bad at talking to girls" or "or anon gay?" but I am just bad at talking to people in general. Saying I'm "bad at talking to girls" implies that I'm good at talking to guys, which is not true.

The female counselor I saw sent me to a male counselor in the same counseling office place and I was anxious around him too. He seemed to take it personally and thought it was about him as an individual. Very unprofessional across the board. He also asked me about drugs and alcohol and I told him about my drinking, and so he thought I must be anxious because of drinking too often (it's the opposite: I drink too much to cope with anxiety, not the other way around).

Another time, someone invited me to volunteer at a homeless shelter. I was sleep-deprived and also still had social anxiety, because I always have it, and being in a situation where I had to serve people food and talk to them made it especially bad. The person who invited me implied that I was afraid of homeless people, even though they've seen how I act around other people.

A final example was how I was invited by my friend to spend Thanksgiving with him and his family. They are extremely loud and outgoing and it was a little intimidating with all the questions and being put on the spot a few times. My friend thought I really enjoyed checking my phone, when in reality I was only doing it to avoid making eye contact or to cope with my extreme anxiety.

I don't get the impression that very many people truly understand what I'm going through, and these accusations make it even worse.

Have people ever misinterpreted your mental health issues? If so, what happened?
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 No.6490

>>5341
They do. As a rule, good experiences that are the polar opposite of the bad experiences you've had help healing.

 No.6495

Basically everyone in highschool thought I'm an asshole because I didn't say hello or talked to them. Even a fucking teacher called me out and said I'm a bad person for doing that to my classmates. Like they couldn't even imagine it can be hard for someone to do.

 No.6496

>>6495
Normalfags really have no emotional intelligence

 No.6498

I'm not sure if I had social anxiety because almost everyone stared at me, or the other way around. What the fuck was so interesting about me that they felt the need to stare? I dressed in nondescript single-color clothes, combed my hair like Chad, and walked normally. Or was it that they can tell I'm trying not to make eye contact? They can tell what you're looking at, so maybe they can tell what you're averting your gaze from? Similar to the MC in "Watashi ni Shinasai", my look of terror may have been misinterpreted as a cold glare, minus the glasses.

 No.6499

>>6498
Yeah, it's the body language. Also if you have a "resting face" you're pretty much evil for them.



File: 1525752567329.png (1.27 MB, 727x458, a88.png)

 No.4755[Reply]

Ever consider taking a vow of silence?

Like I get so tired of people calling me stupid or retarded… or just giving me *that* look. It would be so much easier to just shut up forever.
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 No.5239

>>5236
>>5237
NEETs/hikkis tend to have issues like anxiety and depression, right? Aren't psychopaths people who lack empathy or feelings? I think that, in order to be a NEET/hikki, you have to feel emotions too intensely. Social anxiety is caused by thinking about other people's judgments too much. If someone was a psychopath (or maybe I am getting words confused here), they wouldn't care at all what other people think. In fact, that kind of insanity could lead to extremely high confidence.

 No.5241

>>5237
>>5239
He's implying that if a psycho can feign emotions they do not possess, "so can you", not that anybody here is a psychopath.

 No.5271

I want to send my love to all of you anons, and I feel you, as someone who's been bullied in an inescapable setting, and considered this. I recommend writing in a journal, talking to yourself, or if you can, finding one person that you can talk to about random things. Expressing yourself regularly will give you a sense of being a stable, logical, single human being, and other people's behavior doesn't mean that there's something wrong with you. Our minds are beautiful and we were all meant.

 No.6491

>>5271
Only the bullied retards like to spout nonsensical and delusional crap like this. You should have been bullied more.

 No.6494

>>6491
Careful not to cut yourself on that edge.



File: 1525742505686.png (227.62 KB, 487x383, Rei_smile.png)

 No.4753[Reply]

My girlfriend is a NEET.

She has had a few jobs in the past, but she has always had to leave due to mental health problems. She has been struggling with mental health problems ever since her teenage years. Specifically, she has BPD and depression. I can relate with many of her feelings and experiences, because I also struggle with depression. One thing I should mention is that we have only talked online; I will be meeting her in person for the first time very soon. I seek other opinions and perspectives.

If you are in a situation similar to her, how would you want someone to support you?

If you have been in a similar situation, how did it go?
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 No.4881

>>4879
>goes into containment board
>complains it's a containment board
0/10 newfag isn't even trying. Please stop.

 No.6481

>>4851


>online long distance relationships exist and those isolated in their rooms won't be any less hikki for that.


I mean there could also be a physical relationship of 2 hikkies in a room togheter that dont interact with soceity and other stuff like a single hikki whould and tick all the boxes if we where to count them as one person like not going outside for 6 months and not interacting with others (other than themselfes) . dont know if that counts as hikki or just NEET.

While very unlikely , its a possibility , the most likely way i can think of is hikki meeting hikki online and falling in love then deciding to move in the same room.

I mean hikki is ultimately just a label to describe existing behaviour at the end of the day so it doesnt really matter of someone is labeled a hikki or not because if they still suffer most if not all the symptoms (for example didnt leave the room for 10 months except one time 5 months ago when they needed to buy milk from the store may not be techically hikki because they left the room but still suffer the acute social withdrawl and all that stuff).

 No.6488

>>6481
>if we where to count them as one person

 No.6489

>>6488
My ideea was that its a very socially recluse couple , as in:

-spending most of the day and nearly every day confined to home,

-marked and persistent avoidance of social situations, and social relationships, (except for the GF/BF)

-social withdrawal symptoms causing significant functional impairment,

-duration of at least six months, and
no apparent physical or mental etiology to account for the social withdrawal symptoms.

 No.6497

>>4784
If somebody wanted to be a normie they could do it on heyuri or 7chan
I'm glad you think you're that important



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 No.6127[Reply]

By self-improvement I mean doing more than the basics (getting a job/moving out), non-essential things like having hobbies or a social life. If I start now I will be quite old-ish by the time I see results, and most people will be moving on to something else. I cannot fill the gaps in experience, just make try to catch up and pretend I'm not behind.
Why?

 No.6128

just try to catch up*

 No.6129

>>6127
Plenty of people either do those things because they want to, or because they think they can find additional social acceptance for having done them (which is really just another way of saying they want to do them). If wanting to do them doesn't apply to you, then don't. But understand what frequently befalls those who choose not to do those things.

 No.6130

I was a loser a few months ago. I'm still a loser, but now I can play the piano at a very bad grade 2, draw very poorly, and just about understand Japanese spoken by a small child.
Still, I'd recommend it, especially if you're a NEET like I am, since you'll be doing something with your time. I started doing these because I wanted to.
My regret is not starting earlier, since I'd be way more proficient than I am now, and probably enjoying it more since I won't have the frustrations that come with being inept at things.

 No.6478

>>6127
Self-improvement should at the end of the day mean improving your life , making yourself a happier person (in the hedonistic sense) , this includes stuff like delayed gratification ofcourse.



>social life

If you dont want to have a social life its ok , if you do , thats ok as well. I personally just dont feel the need , considering you mentioned it you likely do. Do not be influenced by what others think of you (for example: "I must have [X] because soceity will thing bad of me if i dont")

Think about it , is it a genuine need to connect with other human beings (or something along those lines) or is it just "soceity will (not) like this" (do this for basically everything for example , nice cars, nice clothes, latest iphone , etc.) .If you do , i cant help you. The pandemic likely made it harder , and try finding people with similar intrests but thats about all i know.

WARNING: DONT fall into the trap of trying to delude yourself into thinking you dont want a social life when you acttualy do because its too dificult.



>hobbies

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 No.6479

>>6130
Need any art advice?

While i dont know what your weak and strong points are as i havent seen your art , i will give some general advice:

-Unlearn symbol drawing
Symbol drawing is when you draw what your mind thinks it sees rather than what your eyes actually see. You likely already got past this stage but i am mentioning it nonetheless.

Here is an exercise to help you unlearn it. Decide on a thing to draw , for example a lamp. Destroy all your preconceptions of how a lamp looks like. Think of it as an alien object that you need to document , you cant take photographs and you need to draw it as accurately as possible.


-Learn the fundamentals and start with perspective
if you can do perspective you can do whatever the fuck and it should look ok as long as the perspective is good it should look ok atleast. Feel free to break normal perspective if you want to go for a certain feeling but learn the rules before you break them.

You may at first fall into the trap of doing isometric perspective (the one you learn in math class and draw cubes with), in art perspective all parallel lines , eventually meet at a place called the "vanishing point" (the ones going up dont meet up if you are doing 2 point perspective , which is usually "good enought") , this point is usually on the horison line (aka. the eye line) but in certain cases its not (ie. Stuff that is slanted , you need an auxilarly vanishing point for those)
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