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/rec/ - Ex-NEET / Recovery

Board for recovering NEETs and Ex-NEETs who are trying to reintegrate.
Password (For file deletion.)

Posting works again.

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Since it's sometimes difficult to have a conversation about trying to exit the NEET lifestyle in /hikki/ without it getting derailed, I have created this new board for such conversations.

If you are trying to go back to school or get a job, or if you've exited NEETdom a while ago but are still having problems, this is now the place to talk about it.

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Did anyone else escape NEET life and now just finds it even more lonely and isolating? I honestly haven't posted here or on any other chans in years. After nearly decade of being a NEET from 16 to 24, I did manage to get my life together. I have a job and am in a good university working towards my PHD, I'm what people would consider a "success" in that regards but its just lonely.

I can't relate to normal people, they don't have the same shared experience of growing up a NEET and being fucked in the head for so long. I can't make any connection with these people that has any meaning beyond the superficial. Meanwhile internet culture has completely left me behind and is weird and foreign to me, and honestly not interested in getting involved in most of whatever people are angry about.

I miss those days of feeling connected to others through the screen. At least I had others who understood back then.
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some of the fedverse sites (as in federated network, not glowing people) are kinda good. IRC can still be good if you know where to go, but its quite cliquey and people are very protective of their own little patches, wary of new ppl. i really think that the higher the barrier to entry (as in; technical knowledge) the better the community tends to be, for me personally anyway. i use discord to talk to friends from the realworld but its absolute trash, i hate the design and and the stupid little noises it makes.
People always complain that the internet that we all know is dead, but obviously it is. the wild west was never going to last forever, its just gone more self-hosted. there isn't a company on the face of this earth that would host the shit we all used to talk about circa 2005.
Seek and ye shall find dudes !


I have been seeking for years and found nothing, but thank you.


>I can't make any connection with these people that has any meaning beyond the superficial.
Do you try to fit in with society or are you actually trying to bond with people? If the former, then it's no wonder lol. Unironically be yourself and keep an open mind, but have a resolve of steel and be prepared to be treated like a weirdo by oversocialized people. You'll eventually find at least someone similar to yourself.

I dunno man, I'd love to not *have* to work, but wage society demands so. Being a NEET doesn't necessarily imply being a hikki, you know?


Yes and no. Sound like we walked fairly similar paths (also working towards my PhD and people have completely 180'd their opinions on me as a result). I don't think I'll ever be able to relate to normies but I think that works to your advantage.

What kind of PhD you working on? Something you find yourself quiet passionate about? I'm doing spider ecology with a blend of taxonomy (it's been my passion since childhood) and being super passionate about something normies don't get or understand is like crack for normies. They keep inviting me to do educational and social things (on bad days I feel like they want me to dance for them like some kind of clown, but the more and more I do it, the more and more fun I'm having) and it's building my confidence up nicely. If you feel like you have the spare energy, talk to some local volunteer groups related (even loosely) to your PhD topic and throw some educational volunteer work under your belt. It's true that we may never be able to relate to normies, but when you swim in the same waters as them enough, you'll notice that relating to them isn't the only way to interface with them. Some of them truly appreciate us oddities for what we are and want to hear what we have to say.

Don't sell yourself short eh? You made it to the PhD phase, normie or not, you've got the skills, now you just have to show them off a little!


this post inspired me to apply for a job at the NSA and join the fedverse

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Just got a job today. I'm probably going to quit or get fired again, but, let's see how this goes

I will try to keep this thread up as a "journal" in hopes of helping or motivation another anon to do as I did today
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It's alright. I guess a lil guilt never hurts the motivation, but don't beat yourself over it. You don't owe use alot and I appreciate that you came back to post news, even if they are bleak. Just get back into the rhythm once you're ready again.


Hope things go better for you OP. I recently just got a job and am hoping to keep it for a while. I’m a cashier at a home depot and I haven’t actually started doing actual work yet just watching training videos so I’ve barely started. And I actually need to keep this job so I can save up to move out of my parents place. I was NEET for two years with two jobs in between both added up only lasting 3 months, it was fun and I was able to sleep in but now I’m likely gonna be working at 6 in the morning til noon.
I’m not nervous with the people as much as I’d expect but I am nervous that I’m gonna fuck up like I did the other jobs and get fired because I already know I’d NEET again right after instead of looking for work


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OP again.

Hi 362! How are you doing? I've read your post around the time you shared it and today It randomly came to my mind. How are things going? Hope all is well. Remember that if you mess up you can always try again. I've failed as well, and nothing wrong with that, i think.

To quote >>361,
>Just get back into the rhythm once you're ready again.

Thank you for your words anon, I think I'm way too compulsive about beating myself over this, but you're right I believe.

Yes, as much as I wouldn't like to admit so to myself. Recently a relative of mine sold some parts of his old gaming computer and gave me the GPU as a late birthday gift, so while that's nice, it obviously hasn't really done me much good. However I am fully aware that is in my own decision. Which makes it sting more.

I really want to start working again because it gave me something to look forward to other than new Yotsubato volumes. But one day Yotsubato will end as well and I will really need something that I can look forward to my whole life and will help me in my life as well
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.


Things aren’t too bad thanks for asking. It is pretty rough for someone like me to be working a socially oriented job but I’m managing pretty well, usually in the early morning most customers don’t even talk. The last jobs I had were full time and this one is only part time so it’s quite a bit easier and gives me more time in the day so I’m working on getting back to eating well and lifting weights.
All in all, so far so good. I’m planning on keeping this job til I’ve saved up a decent amount and I even calculated the amount I have to set aside for nicotine, caffeine, supplements, gas, and food. The rest goes to saving, once I’ve saved the amount I want I think I’ll switch to a less social job and maybe get an apartment around that time


Well since I talked about the job I got a few months ago guess an update is an order with what’s going on now. I was going to call out earlier this week on Sunday, just felt shitty and didn’t want to go knowing the place would be bad and they’d make me wait way too long for someone to cover me to use bathroom or leave. I also knew it would be busy and I’d be stretched thin so I just really did not want to work but nobody answered my call to call out. In my months of working there I’ve only called out one time in the first month.
Monday though, Monday I really just said fuck it didn’t even try to call. So now I’ve fallen into an old habit. A rough one at that considering it’s how I went from working my first job after graduating into a full NEET after faking a whole month after only one month of actual work.
I did already plan to quit, I know this isn’t the way to go about it and the fact I didn’t actually *want* to be a cashier again I just needed a job so I wouldn’t get kicked out after being NEET for the second time in my life. It should also be said I think they took my no call as quit cause a coworker told the supervisor I said I was gonna quit if they keep taking forever to get someone to cover me to use bathroom and leave, not even just frequently but everyday. I didn’t actually tell him I would quit but that was the last day I actually worked so maybe that’s how they took it. My schedule on the app emptied out this weeks and the next two weeks are normal then the third is empty as well. So I don’t think I’m going back. I’ll basically do what I did before even if I have to fake a month again.
That’s really it, I’m probably gonna end up NEET again and I quit in the worst possible way. I’ll update again sometime

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How do you even get a boyfriend or companionship?
How will I deal with the regret of never having a gf or bf.
I want to get one, but I know I'm too messed up from psychosis, BPD, autism, PTSD, and social withdrawal.
I've been NEET for 10 years and it's impossible I'll ever get a gf/bf now, I'm too fucked up and literally, everyone else is "normal".
Some guy I was talking to told me he wished he never met me and that I was sick.
How is this even fair? I only lived once and I was born in a family that fucked me up mentally.
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I said it to OP and I'll say it to you. Why aren't you entitled to kindness, at the very least respect and dignity? This is a basic tenet of self confidence, but also healing, and this is the recovery board. I can even find you some sources if you insist, but regardless, I believe OP is entitled to all of the above and so are you. Take care, anon. Sage out of politeness to OP.


This is a purely anecdotal story, but i think it might help you. I believe a lot of my mental illness stems from bullying and humiliation in my early and teenage years. It made me believe i was undeserving to even talk so people could hear me. I was so afraid of someone hearing what i was saying and starting something on me for it. I've been diagnosed with bipolar type 1 and GAD, and i believe the manic episodes are the bodys natural defence to extreme levels of depression. I used to self harm, ive fucked my arm up, I have nerve damage in it. I used to binge drink, I fractured my skull, eye socket and had to get a finger amputated because it got ripped off in a particularly stupid drunken incident. My stepdad is abusive, he's got violent with me multiple times, and he is extremely manipulative. I've been forcibly hospitalized multiple times. I think I might have and idea what you're going through
After all this, and only recently, I finally realised im deserving of things like basic human decency. I am maybe good enough to have someone actually like me, not love, but it's a good first step. Maybe you can too, it's just a mindset, you need to believe it for it to be true. Your thoughts create your reality, if you only think in negatives, your life will be negative. Notice I used the word believe a lot.


I don't know where else to post this. I had a big long blogpost typed up but I don't want to post it. It's too personal and too embarrassing. I don't want or expect anybody to reply to this. I'm sorry to make a stupid whiny attention whoring post like this but I have no idea what to do at all. I wish I was dead


I'm getting frustrated since we're facing the same problem. I end up asking myself "why would I want someone though?" and just do something else. Everytime I have these thoughts I realize I wasn't doing anything pertaining to my career or schedule.

I'd like to read you.


Please do post it. Don't be afraid to express yourself. I'll read it at least.

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What kind of goals do normal people have? A few months into a part-time job and nothing feels fundamentally different from NEETdom. I don't know what I'm supposed to be toiling over.


Normal people usually have goals related to their daily lives. A lot of them are really boring.

My advice would be to create goals for yourself at work. If you hate the job, think about what aspects of it are getting to you and try to look at them in a different way.

You can also create projects for yourself to work on. See how fast you can organize these items, try talking to at least three coworkers, bring a notebook and draw in it, etc. Make a game out of this, which will pass the time quicker.


Goals don't necessarily have anything to do with working, you may or may not work, that doesn't change your goal of becoming the greatest Minecraft youtuber in the world Anon.

…one day

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once i muster up the strength to refill my adderall, id like to start school again at a community college for programming or computer science

is it unrealistic to want to have a job that i can work from home, that is the only way i see myself being happy in the future

is this just wishful thinking or do you think its obtainable


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I like to think that since the current 2020-2021 topic, there's alot more emphasis on working from home. Especially in the tech industry.

I'm sure you'll find a job or two that will accept people working from home.
Personally I prefer working somewhere else because I get too distracted at home and I loose focus quickly.


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>programming or computer science
Oh God there's so many of us in the same field.
I'm a com sci guy and I work from home, it's not unrealistic for that career, the best piece of advice I can give you is that it's a trap.

It sucks exactly as much as your regular job, the general situation varies depending on your employeer, but the second you procrascinate you're DEAD, because you WILL give excuses for your delayed work, it WILL pile up and the day will come when you will realize you're surrounded by your own bullshit excuses, the only real benefit is that you can stop caring about clothes as much.

In other words, you will have to work just as hard, while also avoiding the temptation of jumping into your favourite MMORPG to help your sinking shithole of a guild because everyone there is a fucking noob that can't do anything on their own and keeps trying to cause drama and okay I'll stop projecting.


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op here

saw psychiatrist today and got dose raised to max and getting refill soon, feels good to make that first step after ive been putting it off for months and months

honestly wouldnt have done it if it wasnt for my friends being obnoxious assholes and pushing me but it feels good right now, im not gonna get my hopes up too quickly because feelings can drop so quickly but today was a good day, thank you for your responses


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OP, I'd be very careful about working from home. While it is very flexible, you'll likely find that your very own home becomes more of a workplace in your mind. This could make you feel less relaxed overall, because it's now associated with 8+ hours of work five days a week. It's no longer "home sweet home", so to speak.


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2006-2015: 375% increase in CS majors
2006-2015: 20% increase in number of software-related jobs

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im an ironworker. my job is quite tough

im not cut out for industrial labour. while i have no problem doing rural labour i feel like i should have a thicker skin and just be able to do whatever is expected of me with my body. i feel like i should be grateful for having a good unionized job with decent employers. but i cant
i dislike it greatly
even slow days tire me the fuck out
and the manager has 0 mercy with the newbies

all around me ive built a hispanic macho image of myself to protect my soft, emotional core. and this rough shell tells me to suck it up and take it, to absorb the pain and the exhaustion and forge myself into a tougher man. but my inner self just wants to be a shut in, focus myself in my career (park ranger) and finish it to finally fuck off to the woods

can you please give me words of encouragment? or at least tell me what you would do in my position?
3 posts omitted. Click reply to view.


well, promotions are mostly out of the window, since they are experience-based, and i dont plan to stay here long-term
saving money is closer to my end goal. since my career is not very well paid i plan to make investments, so having a good amount of cash hoarded will help me immensely. thanks for reminding me
the time limit is a great help too. enduring this semester at college and checking how im feeling and hows my gpa doing are a good measuring post. plus i think i can get more outdoorsy jobs if i look into them

damn, your advice was very solid. thanks a lot


>can you please give me words of encouragment?
All I can say is, be careful with mental exhaustion. Sorry.

>or at least tell me what you would do in my position?

I'd quit if I thought the pay wasn't worth it but you said you're unionized and got good employers so…


Apply for janitor somewhere else before you start resenting how much you have been deformed by your own façade


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Currently dealing with similar shit, I'm working an office-ish job at a local manufacturing company and am tasked with registering arrived products using Microsoft Dynamics AX 2012 and a label scanning machine called "MODI". My back fucking hurts doing this shit and seeing "4PO-061876", "4PO-59160", ETC. all day is mind-numbing.

If I were you, I'd keep working the job but try removing sources of stress outside of it to relax more. At least that's what I try to do.


Anon -you're doing a really good job, obviously this is hard labor and very difficult on your body - try to remember to do stretches so you fuck up your spine and whatnot forever. Keep in mind that any job, no matter how difficult, slowly gets easier and easier with time. A few months from now your body and your mind will be used to it and your workdays will fly by instantly. Good luck saving up money, hope you have fun as a park ranger!

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I've recently started learning some skills that I hope will pay off in the long term, but I need to make some money in the mean time to buy a car.

I'm absolutely terrified to get a job though. There's not much around me except for retail work which does not mesh well with me. This is something I've avoided doing for many years.

I'd be happy to hear your experience with your first job, or with retail if you've happened to work that. Anything to not make me so nervous.


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another blue haired anime girl.png.mp3.tiff.exe.bitcoin


ot: its gonna be fine


you can probably find some warehouse work

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Ex-NEET/Hiki general thread, how long has it been since you got out of it? What are you working on right now? Do you feel like going back to that life sometimes?

I got a job and started going outside 6 years ago, after 2 years of being isolated completely, sometimes I feel tempted of just staying at home playing videogames all day, or to stay in bed doing absolutely nothing, I am still depressed, recently something bad happened, and I felt the need of going back to those habits, close my social media and be a full time anon again.

An important part of my recovery was the people around me, and volunteering at hospitals and hostels for the bed, working still feels kind of weird though.

Now I work as a programmer and web designer, not the best job for someone like me, but it's what I learned to do.

It's hard, but like an anon told me here, if I got out of that mentality once, I can do it again, and so can you.
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Oh, I wasn't aware this board existed. I'm glad it does, looks like just the place for me. I used to browse /hikki/, and /n/ before that, and now that I'm on a bumpy road to normalfaggotry, I'm pleasantly surprised Ubuu keeps offering me a place to talk about life stuff. Even though I haven't played Yume Nikki or derivatives/clones since about 2012… I'm sorry for the upcoming disorganised post. There's much I'd like to say, but I have little time.
I "graduated" from NEETdom about 4.5 years ago. I think I even posted about it on /hikki/ somewhere at some point.

Some days I wish to stay in bed, or just quit my job and live off of my savings for a while. I'm far from the best employee. My work performance is very unreliable, and I've been communicated that twice on no uncertain terms, being denied a yearly raise. That happened this year, too.

Looking back, I feel like I've mostly only continued to languish since getting the job, and am barely hanging on by a thread. When I was at my worst, I would bottle up all my emotions, being unable to tell them to anyone out of shame or because I did not want to bother them. That's the primary driver of my work performance plummeting, as that made me avoid my co-workers and resent my job for always feeling like a fraud and a disappointment to my team.

I have been working remotely almost exclusively since the pandemic began, and honestly I like that, it's nice to have peace and quiet, and do some chores on the side to keep my place tidy and comfy, but some days I've abused home office by sleeping during work hours, sometimes wasting an entire work day and causing me to panic. At least sometimes I have also worked for my job in my free time to make up for the losses.

A few months ago I forced myself to open up to my co-workers about my feelings or face being fired if I continued to avoid them and fail to do my job. It's a constant source of embarrassment telling them my doubts, fears and anxieties, and admitting my ignorance to them repeatedly, risking looking stupid when asking questions they might consider basic, but it does help me get those emotions off my chest so I can actually get to work. Now I'm on a waiting list to a psychotherapist so I can hopefully learn some strategies for better handling my emotions, or for dealing with procrastination.

I work as a software tester. I think I've told that on /hikki/ somewhere before, too. I've stuck to this one job for yPost too long. Click here to view the full text.


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Continued from >>338
Talking to normalninjas is the hardest thing. I usually find I have nothing to say. I went to some pony conventions and was disappointed to find out repeatedly that I didn't really have much to say to anyone, even those I thought were my fellow bronies, but I'm getting used to that now. I stammer and I slur my words or mangle them, but at least through practice and repetition I've learned to smile and be more genuine and less embarrassed around strangers, though I still feel some anxiety approaching them.

There are more issues I struggle with, but I think this post is long enough as it is.

>Implying that you are here to help people recover from not fitting into society is asinine also.
I wouldn't say I'm here for that purpose. I can tell you that years ago I was a regular on Wizardchan, back when I was still allowed there by the rules, a shut-in and NEET like them, and I was hoping to help the people there out of their depression. But I did not belong. I only discovered that nothing I told them really made a difference. Now I believe those people need to want to help themselves. You can't do it for them. They must see for themselves the futility of talking to like-minded people, and the value of guidance of a trustworthy mentor figure. They must evaluate if they don't actually prefer to mooch off their parents, as it's a pretty safe life. (On some level, we all want that life, I think.) They need to take the first step to reject NEETdom.


What if you can't help yourself though? Mental illnesses can be so severe that they can't be properly treated, like schizophrenia and autism. At a certain point, people can't really be held responsible for their own self-improvement.


I mean, as long as we are able to live independently, hold a job, pay rent, etc., we are definitely responsible for ourselves. People like severe autists are unable to do that, and shouldn't be judged harshly. I can only speak from my own position: I have moved out and live alone. It's terrifying because I have no one nearby to help, and only I can take steps to improve my situation. Wizardchan and other sites seem good for providing a sense of belonging and companionship, maybe also sympathy, but browsing it did not help me at all in practical terms, in fact it only dragged me down. I don't know shit and cannot help you guys, let alone myself. I just wanted to share my experience.


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I hope this is the right thread.
I've been hikki/neet for almost 7 years since graduating highschool and started finally just working at a "real job" last week. It went okay, I've always been painfully nervous around people and was never able to make friends during school, but I've never super offensive or anything at least, so I feel like nobody really hates me or anything yet hopefully. I just have to remember not to say too much all the time unless I want to make someone visibly uncomfortable. My brother was nice enough to let me work for him for two months before this so I had at least a little bit of social conditioning I guess, but everything still feels like it's just a dream. Lying about little things makes it easier to fake being likeable, andU honestly it seems like a lot of people out there are pretty insecure and stuff on their own despite being a lot more normal, so I think it's opening my eyes a little bit.
I actually couldn't make it through this whole first work week and had to call off on friday for some made up reason since I couldn't stop uncontrollably crying. Somehow I'm not stressed about possibly losing the job or not for taking a day off so early, but I hope nobody's too angry with me come monday, I don't know. I never went to college because I didn't want to be in a place where people could remember me, all I've done this whole time is pretend to be an artist or something, there's so much time I regret wasting. I've been very slowly opening up this year and I can at least finally make blog posts like this, I'm sorry if this was really autistic and boring to read through but it's actually kind of nice reading similar stories and maybe getting responses instead of just lurking all the time.
TL;DR It gets lonely really quickly in real life, especially when it also sort of feels like I'm losing part of myself in a way. It's a little late but I'm glad this place is here, I can cope while trying to get my life back.

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I'm already burned out from studying all the time. Currently taking physics and a few other courses, and it feels like this isn't getting me anywhere. Why the fuck do I even try? Just to have a piece of paper that may or may not help me find a job? The misery never ends.

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