/hikki/ - NEET / Advice

if you are dealing with issues that severe, yes.

id like to but nobody is interesting enough

yes 10000% honestly im not even sure if ive ever had a romantic crush on someone i think it all has just been some weird idolizing obsession type thing

Yup unfortunately i kind of try to replicate them and try to steal their like vibe or mood they give off and try to do the same thing as them and be as good as them and passionate. But i get depressed or i simply give up because they have been doing a certain thing for years and i can't hope to become like them within a month.

I stalk someone I know only from reading some MMO forum and some guy's Twitter because his art is cool, solely because they seem to share my interests but are so out of my reach I would never actually talk to either of them as I am an autistic freak.

Yes. I've met some people who have qualities I wish I had, I tend to copy them/try to be more like a them. If I can't be like them, being around them is good too.

>>7552
I read your post when it was posted and come back to it intermittently but I don't know how to respond, what the fuck I'm asking, wanting, reiterating what I've already said, stating what is already known, and answering my own questions. What else can be said about it, are you still here? If you had more to say or wish to do so do so but I wouldn't know what to specifically ask about unless it's of the mundane. If all those expressions fail I just want to know more.

The same could be said for something like autism but all the symptoms and behavior of SzPD seem to come from a "normal" state of mind, one that developed naturally in accordance to its environment where autism is an odd/broken mind from the get-go with no social factors influencing how it came to be. Can one acquire autism or have a delayed autism the same way one does schizophrenia? Of percentages of induced SzPD what would you say separates the real from the temporary or similar disorders that stem from depression, cultural isolation, anger, sensitivity, etc..

And there's also that it's not just the core behavior and symptoms to go off of but how it colors your world and what other mental illnesses you'll encumber that really determines if it's genuine or not, like autism's actual effects being more than single obsessions and memorization; that those core aspects seen from the outside are judged, and symptoms are obfuscated and defined by those external characteristics making what is true behavior hard to differentiate.

It's becoming psychologically harmful to care about this, like I want to fit into a box or need to be quantified like a statistic because I'm struggling to find an identity to replace my own which is slipping away and becoming too self-conscious. And also that I may find common ground among others like this even though it's superficial, some kind of cool club where in reality (if I have it) I know what it's like and has played a role in my misery. I can talk about (lack of) stimuli, what people think of me, and what I think they think of me on how I am as a person but I won't go there now. I ran out of steam writing this and jumped around editing it, I started over two months ago so I may have staircase wit.

>I didn't become depressed
I think I meant there to be a comma.

>>7901
Don't forget, it's okay to be you. There is no reason to care what others think about you. You don't need to live in a certain way.

>>7903
I think its pretty easy to forget that. I'm not the aforementioned anon, but shit is easy to fall into. when you believe its just better to be accepted your own independence. The crowd is a huge influence.

Shit I feel like half the people I'm close would abandon me if they knew anything about what I feel beyond a surface level

>>7904
Then those people are not worth your time and effort. Unless you have to deal with them, for example parents that let you live with them or co-workers that need to tolerate you somewhat. I do understand what you mean with the crowd, but group pressure, society, or however you want to call it, is always worth questioning. Should you give in or not? Is it necessary for you that they accept you? Do you gain something you need from that? How far do you relent? It may get lonely like that, but in my opinion it is better to be lonely alone than lonely among others that don't really know you.

>>7903
That's not the main point I was making. Regardless of if I should forgive myself or not for who I am and accept that there isn't a rulebook to have been properly human, I maybe could understand myself better if I know what SzPD is. Not that I'm privy to explaining away human behavior through quantification and materialism.

>>7890
>>7891
>>7893
“anyone who doesnt wanna kill themselves as much as i do is a normie minor” i dont think theres a way to make yourself look better than someone else with your suicidal ideation

>>7896
I didn't say that, I'm just saying they seem to be a minor who stumbled here (likely from seeing too many noriko edits on tiktok or some shit, judging by one of their posts) and are fucking around where they don't belong.
They are namefagging and talking like a thirteen year old, not to mention the thread they made ( >>7884 ). Either they are thirteen years old, a troll, or they are an adult hikikomori who still has the mind of a teenager and clearly can't read the room whatsoever. I'm going with Occam's razor here.

>>7891
>>7897
I was here long before I was 18 and I always got the impression that other people were too. Also your "we are not the same" shit is stupid. They weren't claiming to be le tortured soul, self harm just means harming yourself.

>>7898
1. literally the first rule on the rules page is that you have to be an adult
2. this is a forum for NEETs/hikikomori. Not only has the user we are discussing admitted to not being that >>7863 but last I checked in most countries it's illegal to be a NEET when under eighteen.
This is a place for NEETs and hikikomori. It should be common sense that anyone who does not fit this criteria should leave.
Even if you think rules are retarded, people who aren't NEETs should be allowed in a community specifically dedicated to NEETs etc. do you think a minor SHOULD be here? I sure as hell don't want anyone to grow up to be like me. I get the feeling that this minor romanticises this sort of lifestyle and joining in with communities dedicated to it will likely do more harm than good.
Also I'm not even just talking about their one post here, I'm talking about their participation in this community as a whole.

>>7899
I honestly don't agree with most of what your saying, legality doesn't really have bearing on whether a person can be a hikki or not, my school just lied about attendance to keep their stats up when I was that age. But this user obviously isn't a neet or hikki and should hang out on any other board on this site instead of this one.

>>7884
please refer to rule one of the site rules and come back in five years OP

>>7887
also this isnt halfchan, stop namefagging. this is meant to be an anonymous imageboard, everyone else here is anonymous we dont care if youre amechan_inda_flesh

That's what I asked myself anon. By the way, thanks for reminding me of the need for an Aphex Twin t-shirt, dammit.

What happened to this place?

>>7880
Yeah what the hell are they doing on a NEET/hikikomori board asking about how to meet people at school?

>>7880
>>7882
Don't go acting like this is new
These posters belong here like bedbugs in a bed

>>7880
time is moving on

ok but so like… am i not even allowed to post here if I didnt get neetshamed

my roommates been neetshaming me so hard im going to move back in with my family (even if its just for a little bit) just so i can be left the fuck alone

if we assume for argument's sake that you're talking about IRL, I don't think you can
I've thought to myself about when my parents will inevitably ask "when are you going to get a gf", but I have no outside places, nor a workplace in which I could find one, and I think it is the same with regular friends as well
in that regard, finding someone who you can attempt to become friends with is hard enough, actually finding someone who you want to be friends with is even harder, not to mention that both you and this person will stay in regular contact
as a tangent, not long ago (March this year or something), my 'parole officer' and my mum tried to set me up to be friends with someone, and they thought we would be good friends, because, to quote her directly, "you're both gamers", and while he was not thoroughly unpleasant, I had no interest in speaking to him (also I found out several months later he was a nonce)
guess that's just me forcing an excuse to blogpost, point is, finding friends is hard, but at least as /hikki/posters we have a tenuous connection, which is something, and maybe it's better that way, finding friends is a lot of hard work for what in most cases does not produce satisfactory results
but I'll be your friend if you want

Rule number one: never ever use discord. You will only find two kinds of people there: meme spouting underage retards or some really fucked up mentally ill freaks (trannies, schizos etc).
Personally I've made a few friends on penpal websites, but you gotta be comfortable with using your real pic for that.

>>6855
>meme spouting underage retards or some really fucked up mentally ill freaks

Man, I don't know what alternative reality imageboards you come from, but sign me up. You've just described most of this sphere's userbase

"A channer-to-Facebook-normie pipeline? How would you even do that?"

most of my friends are real life ones usually just due to circumstances, i cant stand how people are online now
that said i still only talk with them a few times a month

My father is an ex hikki as well as a current hermit so I've probably inherited his taste for solitude. However to my knowledge he's not a schizoid, whereas I am, perhaps making me an example of how kin commonly amplify the behaviors learnt from their parents?
Regardless; what are you trying to break free from? Learnt asocial behavior or your familial expectations of asocial behavior?
If it's the first: learnt familial behaviors are quite difficult to overcome, if not impossible to overcome fully, however really the only way you can improve your social prowess is to force yourself to be uncomfortable in any social situation.

my sister has the same behavior patterns as me, she's more 'normal' and even though we mostly grew up indifferent to eachother she's growing up with a similar lifestyle i had

>>6664
Infuriatingly, I know you're right.

>>6665
Good on you, anon. I'll probably try to start with something similar, and see if I can ease myself into going out more often despite myself. Thanks.

>But I've started relying on others like a fucking leech to bring back all the stuff I need for me sometimes
If it makes you feel any better, this is usually the norm for NEETs.

>>6685
I used to have a deranged kind of "pride" from taking care of myself in some small way, so it stings a bit to end up getting worse like this.

>>6665
I used to do this until the grocery stores stopped being open 24/7. I sorely miss going to the store at 3am to get sushi. I live in Appalachia, on a clear night careening over the hilltops in my mom's car with the windows open I'd play 2000s nightcore and take in the wind. Oh well…

only real therapy thats ever worked for me is finding a hobby, even if i have to break the law for it
i've had problems since i think middle school, the only real gaps between states of depression have been ways i could go up against something to achieve a goal
if i'm not fighting, it just feels pointless, and i'll feel like i've failed myself
maybe thats just projecting my issues on to other things or groups, but its better to fight against an imaginary boogey man than constantly feel empty