/hikki/ - NEET / Advice

what do you do when you are depressed?

OP cries under the bed

This chan is unfortunately dead and lonely. Is there another altchan somewhere (preferably for hikkis/NEETs or at least has a decent culture for them) that is active?

I feel like I can't leave home by myself. I would not assume that I am a hikikomori neither any type of neet, since I went outside mostly 2-3 times a month. I feel embarassed and damned myself so many times. I feel like I want, but also can't. When I notice I've woke up at a rainy day, I would feel glad because I'm allowed to skip going outside, and that the world itself seems to have compassion with me, as if the only mutual feeling I can have with everyone else is sadness, laments etc etc.

I realized my postponer nature keeps my tracks off.

It looks like they eventually will discover something darker, yet darker, about me that even I don't know what is that could even repel an loved one from me. I struggle with this kind of problems every since now and then, I guess 4 years.

I also have a pretty strange relationship with my parents, and even at most conversations with my friends. I feel like none of them true knows me, as according to myself, I tend to cover myself from everything because I will lost my high ground of being a true neutral person. I wonder how would come of they seeing me as someone academically or professionaly.

Thanks for reading. I guess my truly wish is to be alone. My real wish is to explore an new world and new people without anyone who ever met me before. But I know this is dangerous, and I will only apply it on my works, if it does even helps at all. I fear what will become of me, so I must finish the things that'll put my true self sign to the world. As my physical self, let's see how things will follow. Should I care less about the others? How should I behave in front of strangers? Who am I? Don't know if anyone has these answers. Actually I won't ever feel satiated with any words, but advices and opinions, or any good comments are always welcome.

I want to go out alone. I want to treat my dog, people and things better, and I want, become a wonderful person, as the world is full of them. You should also. Do something. Let's all appreciate other's efforts to exist.

My closest people only spill more water in boiling oil confirming that this more likely to be true. I don't want to hear about me being lonely forever nor being a failure. It gets worse.
>got only irl friend that holds me from committing
>only reason to get out from bed is to hangout with him
>he will leave to study in europe and live with his partner
>i stopped attending university
>parents upset and mad and on edge to throw me out (they payed for my education)
>my depression progresses to its limit
>unemployed (no one answered on my application forms)
>no finances to get professional help
>doom

hi uboachan

this is a thought i have often, do you consider yourself human?? i dont think i consider myself human in the traditional dictionary meaning of the word HUMAN

i dont know if its the lack of proper communication with others or just the loneliness of being "locked down" voluntarily (if that even makes sense)

do locking yourself up for i dont know, more than a year makes you less human? and if it does, would that be a good thing? maybe this is a stupid question but im curious, do you feel a sense of false superiority to others??


is feeling superior after long periods of time alone and the lack of personal in depth communication with others bad or good for you??

I wanna know if anyone here has completely given up on finding a partner. I feel like maybe accepting the forever alone lifestyle could bring some comfort and maybe happiness into my life. Maybe im too weird and fucked up, and giving up hope is the right thing to do. Thoughts?

Ever consider taking a vow of silence?

Like I get so tired of people calling me stupid or retarded… or just giving me *that* look. It would be so much easier to just shut up forever.

just threw away the truckload of gabapentin and eszopiclone (never done either, ive never even touched GABA drugs before) i bought into a dumpster… i impulse bought it after a fit of sleeplessness and after having a horrible day today i debated with myself for hours whether to just ruin my life with it but i ended up tossing it all. im silent crying to myself in the mcdonalds parking lot right now. hows your night been going anons

I'm living a nightmare scenario that's often proposed to neet/hiki "what would you do if your caregiver gets sick?" well, this is what has happened to me and i don't know how much time i have left, but i refuse to work, my aunt i could stay with her for a while. Not sure if my stepdad will still take care of me, he said he would, but you never know.
For the time being, I'm trying to enjoy myself in any way i can until things get worse, sucks because i have no other family. fuck it.

How do you guys plan to escape neetism? I think the only way is to escape is if you have an extremely strong purpose in life and i think the best way to do that is it not live for your self but for others but thr problem is with neets they don’t go outside and know many people besides family and situation like misaki from nhk wouldn’t happen, so it’s basically impossible since neets don’t go outside and find people so people won’t find them. I’m a semi-frequent user of the board i hope you guys get better i myself have been dealing with it for a couple years due to some stuff I’m dealing with i feel like i have purpose again but due to the location where I live I don’t really have a chance to socialize and form deep connections so it got me thinking about how people play an impact in your life so that’s why i posted it hear. [this is one of my very first longer post’s so forgive for any spelling mistakes]