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/hikki/ - NEET / Advice


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I guess I've been a "Hikikomori" since about about December, after having a constant struggle with my anxiety and depression which led to me dropping out of school, I'm currently looking for a job but for the past months have pretty much been a NEET. What I'm wondering are your days usually like? Do you have a schedule? If you have mental issues what helps you cope? Just curious
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I think a big part of my depression is never using my brain


I think I relate to this. I'm not an awkward person and I like to think I'm pretty normal, but what gets me are the days where I'm unproductive, like today. I was gonna study for this big test I have coming up, but I also enjoy working on my car a lot. It's very therapeutic to sit outside, put on some tunes and just proceed to fuck around with my project car. Today, however, I did neither of those things and I feel like shit because of it. I woke up at 8am today with motivation to really get shit done, but it's now just past 8pm and I'm thinking of all the hours wasted watching youtube videos and bullshitting when I could've studied for just an hour and it would've meant something and then maybe I'd feel okay to go work on my car. Fuck man just thinking about this kinda sucks, but tomorrow, even with much less free time during the day, I'm gonna tackle both those things and more. I can feel it


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I've been a hikkineet since 2018(dropped out) and it's the same, painfully boring cycle everyday. Most of my days are spent rotting inside my room, browsing the internet, forcing myself to do hobbies I once enjoyed and now cannot stand, overspend neetbux, overeat or undereat and sleeping or not sleeping at all .
Many times I did try to get my life in order, attend online job-search course, land a job and then snap under pressure a day later. Fired. I cannot remember the month at all.


mostly just browsing the web, listening to music and drinking a lot. it's different when mental issues play up but overall the same. nothing to do…


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wake up, phone for maybe half an hour, get up and set the stove, talk to roommate, make breakfast. do chores and clean house until spotless. return to room and use pc: check emails and do other important tasks first; then enter web browsing/lazy mode. usually i watch a few episodes of anime or read some manga or get off the pc and read an actual book. if i've got inspiration I'll usually tackle a bigger project around this time and go at it for a few hours (something creative etc..) but im usually out of steam to try too hard at anything in the afternoon. twice a week i'll have psychotherapy in the early evening. then it's dinner, maybe a little more fooling around on the computer, and set stove again, now it's bedtime. usually if i'm gonna take a bath i do it right before bed when the house is very quiet, it helps me sleep best.
really I can't believe how well I've managed to maintain this lifestyle recently considering that I have absolutely no income. it's all emergency funding that i'm getting from welfare programs + money I owe my landlord. but i'm so beyond caring I guess. when it's time to go homeless again I'll just vanish. but god, having a bathtub and a bed and heat is a hell of a lot better then being outside..

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Who else here has a positive or at least neutral view/outlook on hikki/neetdom? It seems like most discussion in hikki/neet communities are pessimistic these days and was wondering how many here view their situation positively and possibly discuss the positive side here.

I just don't like people. Being able to stay in my comfy house and relax all day is a godsend. I wouldn't gain anything from waging or moving out. I have a lot more time to myself and I'm way happier than most people I would say.
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i will forever be your most utmost servant nantaimori



I have no real life or online friends and am incredibly grateful for my position. Putting up with other people induces unnecessary suffering (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hedgehog%27s_dilemma). Moreover, I suspect that having friends can spread conformity/mainstream cultural "memes" in a person.
I assume that it works both ways: The people who are more likely to have friends tend to be more hive minded because they can find people who they can relate to in the first place, and in turn, interacting with others who are laymen makes one gradually become more mainstream/conformist because of the diffusion of those commonplace memes.


>Moreover, I suspect that having friends can spread conformity/mainstream cultural "memes" in a person.
I believe it's related to the automaton like behavior of most people. People absorb input from their environment, filter it through their ego and then react and form beliefs based on that data. If a person discovers this pattern, the environment loses its control over the mind and the true self regains its power.
Having no friends means less input from the world, but thanks to the Internet, it doesn't really make much of a difference these days, as friendless individuals are constantly subjected to outside influences via the Internet.


I wish I could give all of you a hug, seriously
I've been trying to hug my dad at least once each day
Anyways if anyone needs someone to talk to
and we could be penpals
I've been looking at a lot of philosophy lately


being a hikkineet is like an introverted psychopath thing

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listening to time by pink floyd good night anons, i wish a very very nice night and sweet dreams
draw made it by me: PURRanon
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Self portrait. What do you think?


cute :3


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decided to do this to refresh my brain while i was drawing smth else. love drawing


Cute drawings.

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How do you deal with an embarrassing past?
Also, share your embarrassing past. None will beat mine.

Humiliation is hard to overcome because I feel like I'm a trash human being, I'm constantly afraid that people will see my past in the afterlife and see all the humiliating things that happened to me and cringe. I can't be friends with them because I feel unworthy of their friendship.

I was a special ed student at 5 years old, spent all my youth with disabled people, they would lock me up in a padded room with no light when I misbehaved anyhow or didn't listen to the teacher.
I went to normal school after that and the teacher refused to let me use the bathroom, I peed my pants in front of the whole class and was bullied for 3 years over it.
I was bullied in 3 different schools because I had been sheltered and spoiled by my parents who thought they had a "special son".
I was beaten by bullies, isolated, humiliated, and had no friends for years.
I became bitter and angry and joined the chans, which fucked me up even more with gore videos and whatnot.
My parents left me to rot as a NEET for years to take care of my sisters and never paid attention to me.
I know my dad and mom hate me secretly and prefer my two sisters who are neurotypical.
I was an autistic retard, my whole youth. I can't overcome that and become someone I'm not. I will always be a retard.
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da hell did you do boy god damn


Is it easier to get a boyfriend than a girlfriend, or are other men just as selective in who they prefer?


holy shit I've been looking for a thread like this. I'm obsessing over the past. I worry that even if i become the president or something crazy like that, people will find out about my past and destroy all that I will have accomplished up to that point. This is why I have no ambition.


Don't really have it in me to write anything long-winded at the moment, but I struggle with daily things normal people find effortless and it sucks, especially at my age. I've only kind of learned to conceal it and play it cool, but this base incompetence follows me around no matter where I go it seems like.


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Embarrassment is a huge set off for me. Spent a lot of my childhood as a non masking autistic and I ended up getting in a lot of shit situations because people could point at me and say ‘yep that’s definitely an autistic.

must’ve been in like fourth grade when I realised I had forgotten one day that it was own clothes day (uniformed school lel) and everyone else had come in their clothes while I was in my uniform. Ended up having a huge meltdown in the street because of my embarrassment, got stared at loads.
Own clothes days have set me off ever since, I even broke down in twelfth grade when I realised I had done it again and I had to go home because I was crying so much.

I still don’t know how to deal with it, since embarrassment kind of comes pre packaged with being autistic in such a society. Getting jeered at, stared at, wondering why you’re so different.

Embarrassments just never been my favorite feeling in the world

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I miss the NEET life I had…

> Current life in an apartment with girlfriend

> Have a job

But I'm still not happy. I feel I don't have enough free time. If I'm not working I have too little time left to sit down and actually enjoy a game, and when I don't do that I have to invest time in my relationship, and when I'm not even doing that, I have responsibilities to take care of.

Even if I have a job, I do NOT have money for myself, at all. When I was a NEET all my money and time was only for me, myself, and I. I don`t wanna go to work, I wanna sit down on my ass and make games and play games, but this lifestlye is long gone, no longer available. I regret some life decisions I made, I really, really wish I could still be a NEET.

Best scenario would be: Keeping my gf, become a NEET again, but this is clearly impossible.

Have you ever experienced regret from no longer being a NEET?
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>I'm still not happy
There's some root problem you're not adressing.


>The problem isn't her, it's your job. Find a way to work less so you have more time to yourself.

He did say best case scenario is become neet and keep GF rather than NEET and drop GF or have or NEET and no GF


I felt the need to reiterate I guess because other posters were telling him to drop his girlfriend and I think this is a bad idea.


Had this life and was not happy, but returning to NEET life isnt the answer


bad advice

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Don’t want to mention the specifics of what happened to me, but I fucked up without a doubt. How do you anons best deal with embarrassment? I feel like a child for stressing about this shit but I’ve never really had anyone to talk about this type of social stress.
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Embarrassment and shame have plagued me all my life, and I'm 31 now and still have trouble dealing with those feelings. I'm currently working on it with a psychotherapist. In my case, the embarrassment itself is relatively benign, the issue is just that it tends to lead me to negative thoughts about myself, such as "I'm stupid and fundamentally defective", which cause me to engage in harmful activities. Those thoughts are often irrational. The therapist has presented me with a sort of mental framework for analysing these thoughts and accompanying feelings, as well as the actions that trigger them. It's very useful to me. I'm still working on getting into a habit of using it. It has me specify the action that happened, the beliefs that arose in my head as a result, the changes in my physical condition (bodily responses to emotions), and the consequences of all the beforementioned, i.e. how I reacted. Then, I can confront my beliefs if they are irrational, and examine my reaction. It's a very versatile tool for introspection.


Been embarrassed so many times that I don't think it would affect me anymore


If it's small I just kind of make it a joke and that usually makes it bearable
The ones I can't do that on are usually so bad that I just kind of wait for it to pass and just accept the outcomes


Some years ago, I bought my first ever car. I had only recently learned to drive, and I wasn't good at it - I'm always slow to learn new things. The truth was that I was really really insecure about my driving - I was having nightmares frequently about being forced to drive on dangerous roads because of emergency situations.

On the test drive, with the seller in the passenger seat, I almost got into an accident when I tried to forcefully merge into a busy lane. I swerved out of the way of a car at the last split-second and ended up being forced to take the highway out of town. We sat there in silence. Eventually we turned around and headed back, and he tried to play it off like nothing had happened, so I followed suit. I told him the car seemed good, and we scheduled to meet later for the actual purchase at a garage.

I went home and locked my door behind me, went into my bedroom, locked my bedroom door behind me, and had the most intense panic attack of my life where the moment of the car I was merging into looming closer played on repeat for about 3 or 4 hours until I passed out. I woke up later and continued to freak out some more, and then I was berating myself about how I can't do any normal thing correctly. During that moment I was like "wait - I had a close call, not even a real accident, and it's completely debilitating me. I can't live like that. I really can't. I need to get over this immediately." Somehow, that worked.


For me, it's somewhat similar. I think about everything negatively, and it's hard for me to imagine how I want to be or want to feel, but easy for me to imagine what I would consider awful or disapprove of. I focus mostly on the consequences of those feelings.

"Is this useful to me? What is this feeling actually doing to me, for me? What is my plan? If I intend to keep trying, to live and grow, then I should hold myself back only the minimum necessary amount."

That helps me see it as irrational, as not 'right', and that gives me a huge boost in my ability to move on from it. It will still haunt me somewhat, but somehow I'll know "I can get over this - eventually." That's what was sort of forced into place by that driving incident - my embarrassment and the subsequent response to it was so severe that even in the middle of the panic attack I realized how absurd it was.



What you did after you came home resonate a lot with what I would like to do once I remember some cringe moments in my past.

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I'm beginning to believe that there is truly a hard set limit regarding how much we can truly improve ourselves.
I used to be a hikki, I didn't want to go outside, I watched anime and played video games all day, I took part in niche communities and hobbies and was generally a social outcast. Yet I had aspirations to get a slice of a regular life, a slice with friends and girls like you'd see in your SOLs, and so I did it.
Throughout all the odds and all the pain I forced myself to go out relatively frequently, I got the friends, I got the life I even got a girl for a short period of time. Sure I wasn't a chad or even a normie but for a long time I experienced true cyborgism, something I had worked towards for ages.
Yet for what? What has it brought me? I've never enjoyed it, I've never enjoyed socializing, hanging out, having a girlfriend, nothing. Even after I shed my anxiety all I was left with was a general distaste for socializing. Socializing has mostly brought me hardships and suffering I still experience today, and it just makes me think "why did I make myself do this for so long when I never enjoyed it?"
And it made me realize something. Of course I didn't enjoy it, it's simply not who I am. Simply not what I was built to enjoy. This extroversion, this social life, it's simply not for me. And yet I, and collectively a large amount of shut ins, had/have this illusion that being extroverted is something to aspire to, a self improvement goal. But it isn't, there are simply those built to have a normal social life and those who aren't. Not everyone can or even necessarily wants to have this social life, yet it's almost like we're brainwashed into thinking that it's an inherently better way of life than what we have now. There is a fine line between self improvement and being someone you're not.
Proper hygiene, cleanliness, passion to do anything, are all things that are self improvement, but being someone you're not, a normie, a cyborg a social individual is simply something you're born with or not, and I think accepting that reality is pretty important.
Sorry for the text dump, just getting that off my chest before I resume going back into full blown hikkism like days of yester year.
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>Yet for what? What has it brought me? I've never enjoyed it, I've never enjoyed socializing, hanging out, having a girlfriend, nothing. Even after I shed my anxiety all I was left with was a general distaste for socializing.
You must either like socializing enough or feel enough of an aversion to isolation (or a drive to conform) to do so. That includes coming on here and posting this because online posting is a form of socialization when one expects interaction in turn, especially if it is done for non-practical reasons. You posting that you dislike socialization is ironic, though understandable. I dislike it too, but I engage in it through imageboards because my mind likely sees this as a way to fulfill social desires without incurring as much of a burden as one would face in real life.

Self-improvement is fallacious because it assumes that there is always something needing to be improved on and that you are flawed from the get-go. There is no need to "self-improve" unless you neglect hygiene and other basic things. Why the hell should anyone waste years of their life "self-improving?" If you need to get by, then do what must be done (job, military, welfare, etc.). Just enjoy this life as it comes, fulfill basic needs like shelter, and you are set.

>achieve greatness
What would you define "greatness" as?


>>You must either like socializing enough or feel enough of an aversion to isolation (or a drive to conform) to do so.

I suppose I was too broad, of course everyone requires an amount of socialization (as we are group animals) and I too find image boards to be the most comfortable level of such socialization i can consistently tolerate, anything beyond that is when it starts becoming much of a nuisance.

I did desire conformity, because I was simply made to believe that it was the only way to properly live.

>Self-improvement is fallacious because it assumes that there is always something needing to be improved on and that you are flawed from the get-go.

We are inherently flawed as perfection is only an ideal created as a goal post for improvement. The argument whether you 'should' aim for improvement or not is of course entirely subjective, and I think either opinion is fine, but the desire to self improve, whether that be in a skill, socializing, or else wise is something most people have even if they don't inherently act on it.

I also have things in life I'd like to improve in, skills and crafts, but I think it's important to realize what you truly want to improve on and what you've been made into thinking you need to improve on. I've wasted so much time and money wanting to be better at socializing simply because I was made to believe that was something you had to do. It simply is not the case beyond non-utilitarian reasons, as is most other skills you do not wish to strive for.
As you said, there is no need beyond what is needed to get by. It simply took quite a long time for me to truly realize that


>I even got a girl for a short period of time
How do you form a relationship?
People sometimes say that it will develop on its own after the initial effort and that one should not overthink it, but I know that I would need to apply myself to ever achieve one because of how reserved I am. How did you do it?


How do you form a relationship?

I dunno anon. I wasn't really the one who did any of the initiation. She had been a friend of mine for a while and one day she made a joke about us being together and I jokingly played along with it. After like a week of this joke she asked me privately if maybe I wanted to make it a real thing and if she could take me out on a date and I thought she was a pretty cool friend so I kinda just went with the flow.

I wasn't interested in her beforehand, and I never really felt anything that I would classify as love. The relationship only lasted around a year (though I was the one who broke it off) so I wouldn't really promote the 'go with the flow' attitude that I took.

I guess what I'm saying is that in my case it did kind of develop on its own, or at least I wasn't the one to develop it, but you kind of at least need to be aware of the person in a romantic way because the person who I ended up getting just 'leaving it develop' wasn't someone I was really into to begin with.

>> but I know that I would need to apply myself to ever achieve one because of how reserved I am

I dunno, I'm pretty reserved myself, even when I did socialize a lot. Not because I was ever particularly anxious, I just didn't talk much and always kept to the sidelines unless made to do else wise. I don't really think being reserved was much of a hindrance.

If you want my 2 cents I think it was just luck.


As someone who's extensively browsed r9k, OP's post is nothing akin to the garbage that gets posted there (and was quite relatable in fact). Being realistic about ones potential for growth isn't the same thing as being a needlessly defeatist tumor.

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Perhaps it's a stupid question, however having never worked a day in my life I feel this feeling is no different from the existential dread of the inevitability of growing old and dying. Just as if you're severely balding or have some kind of terminal illness, there is quite literally nothing one can do to prevent it. As of now I can only feel numb to the fact.

>Question: How can one manage to survive as a hikkikomori? Answer: Because one's food, clothing, and shelter are often assured regardless of situation. In today's society, as long as you're guaranteed the barest essentials, you can continue to live out your hollow existence indefinitely. I didn't realize it before, but in a way, being able to live as a hikkikomori is a luxury. Without the assurance of food, clothing, and shelter; unless you're prepared to die, there's no other choice but to work.
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And what were you doing all day in that computer


general admin, order inputs, appointment/meeting schedules and some note taking. i had the "special" privilege of not using the phone either, being such a socially awkward sperglord. with no real raise or promotion path, i never thought just typing stuff for an hour a day at most would be so soul crushing.

again, though, it was the isolation of it all that got to me. you can ignore quiet, asocial peers if you're keeping busy, but i was not. though it may be an assumption to say a lot of people here might have similar people issues to me, i think they might, so my advice remains keeping busy with engaging work if you find a job again.


I was in the same position after I graduated from university, until about a year ago when I had a breakdown and became NEET.

I found when I spent so long trying to look busy by doing nothing at all, when real work came along I couldn't see the difference anymore. It all felt so pointless, and then I began to take that poison home with me.

When started my last job the 2-hour commute was the part I hated most, but by the end it was the only enjoyable part of my day.


Work/school doesn't get easier over time, I was miserable for nearly my whole life before I became a NEET
It puts me in this mindset that is impossible to get out of, and I can't ever clear my head even after hours or days of being away from work or school. It's permanently draining and there's no way to cope with it.
Constantly feeling worthless, encounters with other people wont go out of my head, as well as the noise. I can't deal with it, but I'll have to soon. Can't. Whatever


It'll be okay anon. One way or another, the misery will end. That's what I hold onto.

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From my past experiences and casual observation, I came to a conclusion about why people have friends. There's two reasons: entertainment, and validation. I've seen a lot of this myself from my own friendships. I haven't had many, so I can list them all pretty easily.

Michael 1: I met him on the bus on my first day of kindergarten. He sat next to me and that was all it took to form some kind of bond between us. By some luck, we happened to have the same class for all of the pre-grade years. One time, I saw him talking to a girl for a long time during recess and started running around teasing him about it. At the end of the day I apologized and he started going on about wanting to marry her one day. Okay. As soon as first grade started, we were placed in different classrooms. I was worried about it and rightfully so. We immediately started talking way less. As soon as I moved that was the end of our relationship. There was little to no goodbye and I had no way of keeping in touch. Who knows if he remembers me.

Annie: Annie was another school friend I had before I moved. She's the only girl I have ever been real friends with. She had kind of childish tastes even for that age and made me play ring around the rosy with her. After a bunch of boys who I already didn't like started teasing me about it, I started giving her the cold shoulder and eventually she got pissed off at me. That was how our relationship was left off. There was no real conclusion. I still regret it, but here's the thing. It wouldn't have made any difference if I had left on good note with her. It's not like there's any way we could have stayed in touch. Phone numbers were beyond me at the time. Even then it would fizzle. It's just one of those totally inconsequential things.

Michael 2: Michael 2 is where things start getting more interesting. Michael lived across the street and he was an odd character. He was a blond, classic Americana kind of boy, except he has this weird sadistic/violent streak in him. We would always play soccer together against each other's sisters and we would always win. He would then treat me to Gatorade after every game and the whole deal. He was obsessed with this wrestling game and naturally I wanted to play it with him just because of that. The more sociopathic side of him came out sometimes though. One time while he was riding his bike across the street and passing me, he flipped me off because he was mad about something. Another timPost too long. Click here to view the full text.
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Yeah, i'm fine with dying sooner. It's not worth it.
>You're asking to be able treat a relationship casually while getting total conviction from the other person
I already said twice that that's not what i'm asking for. I don't even know what you mean by treating a relationship casually. I don't make those kinds of distinctions. A relationship is just a relationship to me.
>the other people you deal with also have to bend over
How? How did I ever make people bend over for me? They say something to me, and I always listened and responded. That's it. Even if they didn't say anything to me, I would still opt to be around them. They could just be silent the whole time and I would be fine with that as long as they responded to me. Maybe i'd be confused.
>But it's necessary for both parties to put themselves out there
I never complained about how people establish relationships. Sure, you have to put yourself out there. My problem is with how you have to keep putting yourself out, and keep jingling keys in their face so they don't turn away. I think relationships should be binary and perpetual. Once it is created, unless there is some very good reason for it to end, it remains. Forever, and in the same state. That it what I want. I want somebody with no spines. I don't want to waste energy playing touch and go and getting pricked. I don't want to deal with that, even if it's detrimental to my health.


>I was too dull and quiet to entertain anybody for long. Too dull to give your cellphone number to. To dull to stick around with. I was thrown out like a used tissue. I'm not making this thread because i'm bitter towards one person, i'm making it see if anybody else can see what I see. I'd like to hear about any similar experiences.
Thanks for relating your experiences, OP. I can see things like that too, but at the moment I do not want to type it all up. Too much thinking.


I really, really like the contents of this thread. That is all.


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I found this whole thread to be extremely relatable. My friendships throughout my life have been very similar to yours, OP. Even if I spent hours talking to someone, at some point they would get bored of me and we'd just stop talking. If not that, then they end up hating me for whatever reason, they get sick of me, and I never usually find out what it is I did wrong. This has been a repeating cycle in my life. One of the best examples I can think of is a girl I knew from primary school messaged me on Facebook a few years back and we started talking again. We spoke for a month or so, before eventually she started giving me dismissive short responses, or just didn't respond at all. Then someone else I knew at the time messaged me about her, and showed me that she was now talking to him the same way she did to me. I simply stopped being entertaining to her and she latched onto the next guy who would give her attention. I don't understand how you can just drop someone from your life because you're bored with them, like they're a toy you don't want to play with anymore. I will never really understand neurotypicals and their sociopathic way of thinking.


I enjoyed this thread a lot. It was really interesting and thought provoking to see you recap your friendships throughout your life. Makes me think about my own history of friendships and current ones.

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I'm not too sure this goes on this board but it feels like it'd fit here more than Off-topic.

Anyway, does anyone here have an imaginary friend? Any kind, I think even tulpa sort of count. If so I'd love to hear stories even if it's childhood imaginary friends. More so I'm interested in how many NEETs and Hikkikomori have them and how it affects your day to day life.
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I don't have an imaginary friend


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Sometimes I talk to objects (like the batteries in my remote) and pretend like they're alive and give them voices but I dont think this counts


I used to have a waifu who I imagined and talked to. It actually helped a little, like when I was in stressful situations I would imagine her there, reassuring me and telling me things were going to be okay, which would calm me down.


when i was a teenager i used to have a tulpa kaworu boyfriend i used to talk to all the time on my way home from highschool.
funnily enough after some time I would genuinely feel some form of love emotion when he was being affectionate towards me.

That make belief love was stronger than any love I've ever felt from real people


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I believe there's a spirit guide that watches over me. I've never communicated with it one to one, but it'll manipulate reality around me and put me in situations that I can learn from, while also making sure I'm okay. I believe it's a female entity, almost like a motherly figure that keeps me on the right track in life. Sometimes bad things will happen, but I always end up learning something important from those happenings that I needed to know later on. The only time I feel like I saw her was during a DMT trip where I saw it as this all encompassing geometrical figure orbiting my life like the moon. We didn't communicate in that instance either, but I'm almost certain it was her. Looking back on life, it was always kinda obvious I was being protected. I'd get out of incredibly dangerous and life ruining situations unscathed. Wasn't until a couple years ago where I thought about it and started believing that an entity/guardian angel must be protecting me. I think she does it because I have a higher purpose in life, which gives me confidence to make big decisions and chase my dreams. I don't feel invincible, but I do definitely feel like there is a path I can follow, kinda like the good ending, that this entity presents to me and it's my choice to follow.

(Interstellar spoilers) The best way I can describe how it feels is like when Cooper discovers, at the very end of Interstellar, that the beings helping them, the ones they thought were aliens, were actually higher dimensional humans. We never see definite proof of this claim, but it's what Cooper believes after he thinks about all they've experienced and how they experienced it. Love that movie btw, everyone should watch it

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