are you overweight or underweight by chance?
what are your diets like?
i was going to ask this
are you overweight or underweight op?
i always see overweight people who lives unhealthy and inactive lives using this as an excuse (i know that sounds like bullying, or has a bad connotation, but it's literaly an excuse, regardless of whether or not it's true)
Hi, guy from >>191
. I'm pretty underweight since my depression causes me not to want to eat. I fall under 100 pounds from time to time, but thankfully I do force myself into eating giant meals of sandwiches and hot pockets.
Pretty sure my breathing problems come from when I was forced to run a bunch of laps in school, and when I came back to class I was feeling like death. My teacher let everyone rest for a bit to recover except for me because I was behind on work because of absences due to me being really sick.
I'm a hypochondriac-type NEET.
I know it sounds counter intuitive, but I'm paranoid of dying since I wasted my life.
6ft2 190 or something like that
eat mostly organic, etc
also im clinically diagnosed with it so dont bother, gonna go on disability now….;-;
>>196>also im clinically diagnosed with it so dont bother
You're diagnosed with what exactly?
OP here with an update
apprently i have F2 liver fibrosis (liver scarring), with f2 being worse than none at all but at least not like F4 which is OH SHIT WTF U DOIN!?!?
docs have no idea what could be causing it yet, ill probably get a liver biopsy when i go in next month, hopefully i see the CFS experts soon and not just liver folks…
apparently the liver stuff is a red herring, some fatty liver stuff but its just because of the chornic fatigue syndrome, where i went from exercising for hours daily to nothing at all directly causing that
still no cure, meds im on dont do anything, and they have no idea if it will help
also i might get on federal disability instsead of just state disability, im just waiting for the decision now after going to the interview/psych evalutation thing
i hope we all make it friends
Don't worry, i'm sure we'll all make out.
Just be safe and sound, ready for another round.
I'm a type 1 diabetic. It doesn't prevent me from going out or being social, but it causes fatigue and is also autoimmune, so my immune system isn't great. I usually have a bit of a cold.
I would not mind.
Give them to me.
As long as you can be free.
Reading that it came off like something from an cheesy indie-rock song.
The reason I got on this site in the first place was being interested in you. Not in a weird way, just–interested. Could relate well enough that was a thing. I'm probably leaving it now. Either way's fine, but you have a throwaway email for some anon who's considered trying to talk to you for 3 or 4 years and is shortly fucking off to try and pursue life?
Good luck either way.
poor hikkies. i has headacke and constant noise in ears. i tired all day and have difficulties with concentration.
but i care about myself a little. open windows for a fresh air and sometimes do physical exersizes. i think hikkie should care about self even a little
About 3 years ago I started getting intense abdominal pain that prevented me from being able to sleep. I have no idea what caused it all of a sudden, but sometimes it was so bad I couldn't even lie down.
I'd just have to stand up feeling like a zombie thinking I'd give anything if I could just sit or lie down for a while without feeling like my insides would explode, and would go days without sleeping.
Some doctor recommended removing my gallblader as "explorative surgery" because they had no idea what was wrong and it wasn't functioning properly.
After it was removed my situation has improved significantly, but I still can't sleep in normal beds. I basically have a make-shift bed on the floor that I use composed of a few blankets that seems to work.
Lately I've been thinking that it's all caused by nothing but really tight muscles just crushing my insides, maybe due to my anxiety or something.
OP here again, liver issues mean i have to stop my medication, some ALT level or whatever idk
the ride never ends
…Oh. I wish I would've visited ubuu sooner, but alas, my visits get sparser and sparser with how much of my little energy I spend writing. I apparently am likely to have AVPD in addition to my BPD which…would explain why it's so hard to keep contact with people. If you're by chance still here, I'm very…flattered? 3 or 4 years? Wow. I don't know how I appear interesting, as I'm actually far different a person offsite (you could probably thank my super unstable personality for that) but…this was a nice sentiment to see. I wish you luck if you see this.
If anyone was still curious, my colonoscopy/endoscopy turned up fruitless, as did the biopsies and blood tests they took. They're really grasping at straws and starting to treat me with less and less respect, particularly because I'm only a young adult and very mentally ill - something I guess is a dealbreaker for some. At least I've gotten some energy back…enough to start cooking again, which is fairly cathartic as far as slicing through meats (especially cutting off the chunks of fat, which I could wax poetic about the specific implications of but I'd save that for /lit/) and chopping/cracking vegetables into smaller pieces goes. Takes my mind off how existentially straining being NEET and sickly is.
… Well that definitely reminds me why I felt I could relate in the first place.
Funny. I had this creeping urge to look at ubuu again for what reason I wasn't sure. Crazy has its own form of providence.
It's good you're into something that involves actually creating something anew. (Or well, coming up with novels ways to fulfill the need to mutilate flesh and fat and arrange it into bizarre patterns, at least.)
All skills and life when it comes to human beings is by its nature pretty self-involved and it's nice when you can at least harness that energy and give it physical form, gratify your ego with something others are actually able to enjoy.
All I got's writing. Less pleasant to eat.
Anyway, put up a burner if you want to talk. I get the feeling you'll be dead sooner than you start posting here again for any lasting period.
Juuzou's cute and great, so have another Juuzou.
RSI. it stops me doing fun things like games or coding. made life a lot worse.
… Yeah, shit, you're probably not even gonna be back on ubuu for a good 6 months huh?
In that case I hope they know what in the fuck is wrong with your guts by then.
Whatever it is I'm fairly certain it's worsened by anxiety, so hopefully you'll also be able to calm down a bit more.
But yeah. I assumed you would be surprised anyone would wonder too much about you, especially since a lot of the older users are gone.
As for the 3 or 4 years thing–when I first found ubuu it was just because I was an edgy teenager looking for some escape from a class full of unapproachable normies, had nobody I could relate to.
So all of a sudden I find this community made up of people about as alienated, talking about absurd things, that also like weird gamemaker gibberish, and all with a fairly warm feeling of community to it. You posted about your life and it was similar to mine in some ways. And now that feeling of warm camaraderie is pretty much gone, and I should move on, but you're just.. nostalgic, as far as that goes.
I've always wanted to talk to you; when I began talking to others here, it was more to bide my time before talking to and maybe sharing writing with that relatably crazy anon that talks about trying to help their deteriorating scizho friend or living on coffee or gay shit. Before they disappear for the better part of a year again, their fate being almost perpetually uncertain.
That's basically all I wanted to do before getting away from here.
Aaanyway, I really DON'T know if I'll still be around by the time you get back around. So in case I didn't trigger your avoidant tendencies too hard or that meant something to you, have this:
Either way, again, good luck to you too.
Good luck to you all, really. Those of you that can, please try to be less self-defeating. If you can't, at least be decent to each other.
le OP update
waiting on federal disability shit since i got denied twice, my hearing/court date is next year
taking like 7 pills a day but none of them do anything
also my doc appointment with Jose Montoya, the expert worldwide on CFS, was delayed from october to FREAKING APRIL
well i finally had that hearing for disability and it went pretty good i think, i made the judge laugh a few times, lawyer was upbeat about it
i find out in like 6 weeks if they approve me
also got in with montoya at last…underwhelming but im not sure what i was really expecting, there's no cure-all, he called me again today though and im dialing down my meds
only 1 pill a day, and some gnarly liquid stuff thats for digestive issues semi-related
i guess nothing's really changed just time is further along but im still not depressed thankfully
thinking of moving out to hawaii with my dad, or maybe using the disability money to move out on my own somewhere
until next time
OP check in.
I'm living in my own apartment in the city now, get groceries delivered, laundry picked up, etc. It's nice how quiet it is, lonely sometimes. Crypto pays for everything although I'm recognized as disabled now. Haven't left the house much in a month since Christmas. Family comes to visit me often though so that's nice.
Still sucks being sick but it's tolerable at the moment.
I'm doing even better now! My doc even noticed I was doing better, not sure why but hey I'll take it.
I've made some the acquaintance of a number of people, maybe just 1 real friend who I know from imageboards but hey that's cool as well. I'm going to play board games with the other 4 people who live in the other 2 apartments in the house I'm living in next week so that should be fun. I'm also going to jam with some musicians via craighslist tomorrow, and I've done that a few times now. Lastly I'm hosting a meetup via that meetups app on Sunday so some people should be coming to play.
I still have to rest quite a lot, napping for hours each day, and for days in advance of doing anything more strenuous. But I went on vacation and was quite active for like 4 days straight last weekend when I went to visit my sister!
This summer I'm planning on plain ride vacation trips, so we'll see how good my sea legs are then.
We're all gonna make it bros and gals, eventually at least lol :3
holy fuck I made this thread 3 years ago
also thx for the concern anon I appreciate it
Yo dudes. Haven't posted here in fucking forever. used to quite a bit, but that's been a long time.
Well, as for myself, I'm no longer a neet. I've had a few jobs, and was in college for a bit. College where I live is overpriced propagandist bullshit but oh well. It's been so fucking long since I posted here last that it feels equal parts nostalgic and alien to be doing so again. I found this place when I was like, 17, and it had an influence on my adolescence, but lord..
Anyway, my girlfriend grew up severely malnourished and is a neet thanks to her family being an abusive piece of shit. As in literally manufacturing drugs, only ever buying fast food (and since she doesn't have a car and barely leaves her room because she's kind of afraid to, letting her go without). Was 88 lbs at one point. She lives nearby and I am buying her food when she comes over for her to take back, but it's like trying to nurse a fucking POW back to health. I plan on working the job I just hired on at for a few months, then move to a two bedroom with my current roommate, paying the difference and bringing her with and forcefeeding her til she's in a state to work. She's fucked enough healthwise that she has heart palpitations and collapsed at one point a few months ago. Not good shit. It sucks too, because she'd be willing to fucking work and everything if given the opportunity. But she hasn't really had any yet. So wish me luck.
Yuck, stop wasting your time on that shit. There's literally decades worth of games that have had thought, energy and passion put into them. Don't waste your time on something made exclusively to coax more and more money out of you and use up as much of your day as possible. Also, see a psychologist. They wont put you in a ward, and even if they did, would that really be so bad? You would be getting better at least. Life is too short. Get help as soon as possible, you'll thank yourself later for it.
Agreed but especially about the f2p shit. My life legitimately improved when I swore off all AAA money sink trash. There are so many more things you could be doing/playing with that time.
That would certainly explain why I missed it by a mile off. I posted this >>4309
then freaked out with shame and didn't return to Uboa until now. Might as well vent.
I still honestly think I should work, and that working when I'm well enough to would keep anxiety/depression at bay, however I've since learnt the only way to be rid of those is surgery that would put me at risk of complications and require going back on regular medication to keep my bones from snapping. I've also found out that there is no teaching my body to regulate its temperature properly - both the symptoms of my illness and the symptoms caused by drugs and the operation include sweating buckets when I'm cold. I wasn't able to take anti-depressants this whole time because they increase sweating as a common side effect, and I already faint more easily from dehydration.
Looking forward to another summer of hiding indoors and wearing the same four shirts that don't show marks as much over and over until the washing machine destroys them. My hands have gone like ice just typing this, for what purpose, body? The good news is my local doctors' shut down after the authorities refused to renew contracts with them, and I'm now registered with somewhere different that I've never been to before. Worryingly they never contacted to confirm my registration or do preliminary check ups and I had to go in myself to ask (but was too stupid to make an appointment). Until I see someone and find out that all doctors are the same I'll have hope that maybe this time I'll be listened to and referred to the correct specialist instead of one who sends you for 40 bloodtests to confirm it's really not anything else but the thing you've been complaining about for 18 years. There is even a bloodtest I could have had to identify it but the guy specialising in that area never had it done because let's check the motherfucking bloodcount for the nineteenth time. I am still hung up on that even though it happened in my teens, my daily life now is just idling on a dying computer as the money dwindles, but I guess the only stress is knowing I'm slowly headed to self destruction. It's much better than being insulted to my face by a healthcare professional, as they are wont to do, and I've been extremely fortunate to receive money from a family member's disability benefit all this time. If anything I have an easy life and shouldn't feel like everything is crushing in around me.
I'm rooting for you anon. Don't give up.
Welp I overdid it this summer because of my excitement at getting better so now i'm back to how I was 6 months ago. At least I know I can improve now though, just have to pace myself with is what the doctor has been trying to drill into me this whole time. I get very excited doing anything new so it's fucking hard though.
improving again, weightlifting and going outside sometimes, and i'm going to go on another trip to visit my grandparents in 2 weeks that should be chill
living with my parents again sucks though get me OUT
woah, other people are like this?! I'm always ill it sucks i do everything to have a good immune system (except exercise) but i'm just always falling apart, rotting inside and imploding. I feel better knowing i'm not alone
Yeah feels like you're cursed or something, maybe that's a childish way to put it but that's how it is. People calling you lazy is inevitable and awful though.
OP HERE I AM NOW LIVING IN IRELAND I GET MY NEW 1 BEDROOM APARTMENT FRIDAY AND I FUCKING HIKED IN THE ALPS 2 WEEKS AGO LOL
holy shit what a difference 6 months and good medication makes, im taking abilify which is spooky as fuck anti-psychotic medication but im microdosing it like people do with mushrooms/acid and stuff like that
oh im still NEET living off my dad's money but im planning on going back to school next year since ireland has programs for people who fucked up earlier in life, mature student path its called
there's always hope frens
I'm starting to have issues with high iron, high cholesterol, high sugar, chest pains, breathing problems, fatigue, and insomnia. It doesn't help that I have plenty of mental problems. I've tried to go to a therapist before but I always freak out and can't handle it. I wouldn't go out of the house even to a doctor's appointment until recently which is literally the only place I go when I leave the house. It's been this way for about two years now. I've been trying to eat better in terms of my diet. I cut soda, have been eating more fruits as well as vegetables, and decreased eating red meat. I've been having a problem drinking more coffee now though in place of not drinking soda though. But I've had insomnia problems LONG before I even touched a cup of coffee. Ironically sometimes after drinking a cup of coffee and having a long piss session afterwards it'll put me right to sleep. Funny how coffee puts me to sleep sometimes and melatonin keeps me up for days.
I relapsed health wise and my dad is here minding me but I'm still doing pretty well
The 1 bedroom flat is fucking terrible but it'll do until a few months when I get a new place
Making lots of music nowhttps://drive.google.com/file/d/1ZhAMBSw4tefCr8w0QuEZ0bi-uNcDVie_/view?usp=drivesdk
Have a new place now holed up for Corona
Also a gf which is nice although she's very energy sapping makes it hard to pace myself
Recovering from some sort of foot infection thing.
Been on anti-biotics for like 9 days.
Broke up with that girl because my condition couldn't handle
Few girls since haven't been able to handle my condition, just got broken up with
Also since bought a house and started a whole musical collective around my studio with money from my dad
But he's run out of money
And I'm relapsing health wise so moving out to the countryside
I recently was able to play soccer again, but stress recently has gotten me down don't think I can live this life I built for myself in the last year
My best friend I played music with all the time had a mental breakdown with psychosis and moved out to home
2 housemates had covid back to back and we couldn't leave the house
Dunno what the future holds but I guess I'll just be living off rent in the countryside doing fuck all with my cat
Didn't end up moving out stuck it out, times were good over the last couple months although my friend who was living with me blocked me on Instagram ignores me in real life unless we're around other people
Put on a couple gigs with the studio renting out the place for rehearsals not making much money at it though
Also the kicker
I got covid then long covid, in and out of the emergency room, high tailed it back home to America and after the adrenaline puttered out and the codeine I was given ran out I'm left in a huge depression biggest of my life thus far
I'm in the worst state of my life, back ten years in the past can't even cool or go to the grocery store, barely leave the house
The covid fucked my chronic fatigue syndrome so I've no idea how long this will last
Biggest gig of our studio's life happening in April just after my appointment with the chronic fatigue specialist
I literally prayed to God today in the shower that I'll be better by next month because I don't know what I'll fucking do if I'm not
I'll have to sell the house move home permanently because certainly I can't take care of myself on my own anymore
Smoking a pack a day now as well only reason I can bring myself to go outside
It's bad lads, very bad
Will update in a few weeks I hope to fuck I'm better
Oh also one cat ran away and another is getting put down
I'm healthy again thank God
Had a weird 2 month sojourn to Michigan working at the family weed business, I never got paid though and they're not doing well at all
My house will be sold in next few weeks I think, and then I'm moving back to Europe
Was going to study for a TEFL certification and teach English but my course got cancelled, only offering a zoom replacement, but looking into it I couldn't get any of the good jobs without a degree so there's no point even getting a TEFL
Not sure what I'm going to do now
Live off savings somewhere nice and cheap and then write a book about all my experiences and write some music and poetry as well hopefully
Back in California for now but hoping to leave soon
Crazy I made this thread 7 years ago and it's still here
I really like your cat
Hows your life been ever since?
well just read through this thread. Really like this format. Its nice seeing how you progress through life :) Looking forward to future updates !
Fucking hell lads I made it, I literally cried tears of joy yesterday on hearing the news. I've been working as an au pair in Poland since early January, and the host mom got me an interview in the local private school as an English teacher. We fucking made it.
My house is still hopefully about to be sold, but my life is finally where I wanted it to be. Living in Poland is great I have friends here and been dating, just need to get in shape again after the year off since getting COVID on my birthday last February brought back chronic fatigue symptoms.
My dad is in the process of going bankrupt but I'll be fine at least. Sister just applied for her master's and is doing well. Mom and stepdad well.
Follow your dreams and never give up lads :)
Your Cat is nice, otherwise wrong board jackass. You're not a hikki, you're not even a NEET. And I don't want to see your face either.
I was for 7 years and this is my thread fuck off
I ran out of my vitamin D supplements not long ago and I'm beginning to face the effects without it. Being a hikki especially one who's been inside for 6 months now I know it won't go well without it - going to reup soon.