/hikki/ - NEET / Advice

>>7327
What if I told you that an 11 hour shift staring at the sky is easy compared to many jobs?

>>7337
"easy," sure. but anyone who has worked for some length of time will tell you that the only real lifeline with shift work is having it engage you in some capacity. being isolated in a small space with fuck all to work on and nobody to talk to will wear you down faster than breaking your back picking in a warehouse job, or suffering with the public in a customer relations position. your boredom is your enemy, because you have no quick and easy way out if it's the only job you have.

i say this as someone whose last job before becoming a neet was a cushy office gig where i didn't actually have to do anything much at all, which i reckon would be a dream job for a lot of hikkineets trying to recover. i only had a couple immediate coworkers who kept to themselves, and so i'd travel for two hours, to sit in an office playing with pencils and pretending to use my keyboard for nine hours, before traveling another two hours so i could sleep. i will never recommend that, as i think it was a factor in my neet lifestyle

>>7337
Yotsuba gets it. Being like that is a tool on the soul. He is being paid to watch himself rot. I had a wagie at an office too and watching myself going nowhere was degrading and made me hopeless for the future.
Trading time of your life that should be used to save yourself for a few bucks… Might as well eat bugs and live in a pod.

>>7338
Why didn't you use that time to do your own stuff? Working on a project, looking at websites, reading books?

>>7340
i did slack off on the occassion, to start off with, and thought i'd found a way i'd be content living with for the rest of my life. it wore me down over time, to the extent where i was living life in the numbest, dullest way possible by the end of it. i didn't turn up one day, ghosted my superior the day after, and got laid off by text a week later.

even if your overall output is always low by the (accidental) designs of the job posting, you're still expected to be "working" at your workstation. you don't want to get reprimanded and punished for filling your empty time with anything unrelated to "work," like i was, and in the moment, you may be wrongly weary of asking for more work to do, in case you end up doing more for a boss you hate for the same pay. so you try to look busy doing nothing at all. i can count on one hand how many days there that i can distinguish from the rest, but i have a lot of memories of being spooked that my boss was looking through the glass wall and i hadn't had to do anything for the past three hours. and on those days where you actually have something to work through, or your coworkers actually have something to say, you best hope you actually find it interesting and rewarding.

sorry for the blogposting, anons. maybe some of you will be more cut out for that kind of wageslaving, but it wasn't for me. my main problem was my attitude was all wrong. i saw work as the worst means to an end, and tried to keep it as simple and easy as i could as a result. i avoided taking on larger workloads early on, and it made my mental issues worse because of how isolating and demeaning it felt to exhaust myself that much for nothing. My lack of visible work ethic made promotions a far-flung dream, and my biggest regret was not asking to switch positions in-office when i first noticed what was happening, because i was qualified for some other positions there.

please don't take the easiest option. take the option that's most interesting to you.

i saw that stealth edit you did there

what was up with the latest star drama? all i know is he broke up with starman and dotesmite made a now deleted video about it.

>>7119
hi plunder

i dont think someone being a neet is something i really care to watch. i have no issues with watching videos of people who do all kinds of work, in the same way i have no issues about watching nature documentaries. unless the speaker is speaking about a subject im interested in, i have no reason to watch

not to mention, its actually a lot of work, effort and stress to make videos. you have to deal with comments, people harassing you and criticizing you if you deal with controversial subjects. editing, video planning, appealing to meta strategies, etc. its actually hard work being a good content creator

>>7319
You Wish.

Hi :)
NEET for 10+ here with some time between.
Haven't posted on this board for a few years now… like 6 ?
Wasn't it called something different back then? nvm

I did self harm in my early 20s and still have some scaring on my belly. The sad thruth is that you won't ever get rid of it so you need to include it . Going for a swim is hard and I still try to avoid it wherever I can.
That said if your scars are not on your arms and legs a public display can at least be avoided most of the time.
For me those marks slowly reverted into the background of my daily life. But sometimes they are a reminder how I was back then.
Sometimes I even want to be that person. It is weird but most likely I am just envious of that youthful guy that was so full of life that this yearning was enough to leave these marks on my body. Even though I romanticize that time. . .

The reason I even answer is the second to last sentence of your second post. I resonate with that feeling and action… But mutilation was the wrong approach even if it was impulsive. IT was the only way I could feel anything at this point of my life. Really it is the perception of being worth nothing that leads to this behavior.
You just do it without thinking.

I hope you are at least out of this hole. Rest assured that most of you self worth issues are not your fault but the way we live. People don't know and don't want to know and this can have a result in many ways. One of them is self harm. If you want to have some way of control you need to blend in at some point.
It is a constant struggle and sucks but it needs to be done to survive.
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

I have cut my thighs in the past with a razor blade. Recently I have preferred to burn myself with matches, I like that a lot better. It just gives me a rush and I feel a little better, it is a slight compulsion.

>>7307
Thanks for the reply lain. Yeah… if mine haven't faded by now they're probably here for life like you say. I don't care much about strangers seeing them, but around my family I'm always paranoid that my clothes will come up and they'll see and put me in therapy or something. I have nostalgia for times in the past where I know I was just as miserable too. It's weird. Everyone wants to switch their struggles with someone else's, but doing that to myself makes me feel like a goldfish. I'd write a note to my future self, but I'm hoping I won't be in a position to need it by then.

The thing causing it for me isn't so much self worth as despair for the state of my life/future/world/reality. Self worth is mixed in there but it's not a big part. I'm not quite out of the hole yet… and honestly I don't know how I could be, because most of my despair feels completely justified and reasonable. My way of seeing is always developing though, maybe there's something new in the distance that puts all of this in a different light.

>If you want to have some way of control you need to blend in at some point
Could you explain this a bit more?

Another cutter fag here, I used to do it to snap out of depression trance, that state where you can't discern your surroundings. I mostly don't care if people see it because I hardly consider most people people, but it makes me self conscious around the relevant people.
Anyone ever tried something to ease the scars? I read about a silicon gel but the thing is expensive.

Never cut myself on purpose but I would punch and kick things as a habit absent mindedly so much that my skin would break on my shins and knuckles. I have also smashed my head repeatedly against walls as well as punching walls in anger really hard most of the work I have done in my life has been hard labor and lots of alchohol abuse so I have been hit in the head by people and objects many times and I know it has affected my brain not so much physical scars(tho I do have them) but the scars on my brain

>>7325

Can't you just go live in a trailer park in some shitty state where nobody wants to live?

I'm from France so I just dunno how things work in the US, just wondering…

>>7326
Even trailer homes in shitty states cost money, and I really don't have enough. Even if I did, I can't seem to pass the driving test on account of severe social and performance anxiety. Everything in most parts of the U.S., most of all the states no one wants to live in, everything is so spread out that one must own a vehicle even to get to the nearest grocery store.

>>7170
Tomoe is literally a student, she's more an outcast than anything. I heard the manga is sort of changing the overall theme and its becoming more slice of life as she's making new friends.

>>7196
This was nice to read, thank you.

>>7196
Great read, thanks fren.
>>7235
Yeah first year watamote is a complete different manga, she grew a lot. I still very much relate to her tho, I similarly had a complete isolated high school experience but had a sudo social circle in college so kind of understand how it feel when all of a sudden you have """friends""".

My Lesbian Experience With Loneliness.
This is a really interesting take on how someone deals with their demons. It is absolutely a different take compared to my own but at the same time is so easy to understand her conundrum even if her mindset is completely different from mine. Also it's not fiction. Also it's a little gay.

>>7322
A lot of Kabi's works fit well in here, I think. If you've ever struggled with adult responsibilities, trying to move out, or getting cripplingly dependent on alcohol, you might find something in them.

>>7275
Junkyards and e-waste recycle bins of supermarkets mostly…

>>7248
Anon if you feel nostalgic… go back to it. Integrate it into your present life. And make it your foundation so you can go and do new challenging things. And then return to the warm familiarity.

idk if that actually works but i do it. I want to have a varied and exciting life too but i need stability so i can pay for internet

>>7294

Not like I can go back to high school and be 17 again tho and this is what I really miss… Like what can I fo to be in a thriving social environnement? Probably not much if you think about it, especially as by growing up I've developed higher standards for people I find interesting, which makes things harder but yeah, I should at least try, just don't really know where to begin, I was thinking maybe by moving to a new country starting a new life and making friends could be easier… dunno…

>>7248
Have you considered joining a intentional community? A secular one, not the sort that's going to ask for your money or demand some spiritual commitment. If you're interesting even the slightest I'll come back to this thread sometime and detail my visitor period at Twin Oaks for you.

https://www.twinoaks.org/

>>7310

Hmmm, sounds interesting, problem is I live in France and there's not a lot of those in here, I lived in small communities but there always was a problem with drugs/alcohol among members, the best community experience I had was during COVID, I lived at some friend's uncle's farm for 2 months and it was great, we just did not keep on after COVID…

>>7313
No, I'm still living with my parents. But I think there is nothing to be shamed of if you live with your parents. I wouldn't talk to anyone if I lived on my own, so I think living with my parents is better for my mental health.

>>7313
>formative years
time spent is part of you. don't regret it. I've only recently moved away at 27 and I still rely on charity to get by. It's okay to rely on others, but always make sure you're doing something positive for yourself so you can grow and stand on your own.

Later is better than never.

>>7012
Maybe.

I don't even know what I want anymore

This used to be my constant state of mind the last couple of years as a NEET.
It happens when I'm using the internet too much, when I get too much input from people. Our brains aren't made for this kind of lifestyle.

>>3696
I dealt with it for years. The only way you are going to ease it is going out and interacting with people. Working a job you forget all about dissociation.

What do you think is the root of your laziness? I'm the same as you, and honestly its probably a mix of just apathy and never really ever needing to develop a work ethic for anything when I was young since I'd always be able to get by without putting in much effort.

I understand you perfectly, my friend. Procastination is the worst enemy you can afford. I know it's easier to say things than to actually get off your ass and do productive things, but try to create a habit as soon as you can, start with small tasks, like something that takes you 3 minutes to do, every day, and slowly start increasing the time and add new tasks. Getting into a habit is gradual and slow, but it is extremely satisfying when you realize that you have reduced laziness.

Lazy is not a real word. There is always a root cause of your actions (and inaction). If you're having trouble doing something consistently, question yourself as to why you're doing it. Is it what you want to do? What will you gain from it? If its something you do want to do, then question yourself as to why you're not doing it. Is it fear?

iktf, extremely lazy myself. I sometimes think if I had more daily sunlight, near my eyes, I'd somehow get better