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/hikki/ - NEET / Advice

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The Uboachan Dream World MUD is back online, sorry for the downtime.

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 No.7127

In my early 20s I was a NEET for a few years before being forced to work. Back then i was a shy nerd and always had people wanting to hang out with me. Once i left neetdom I found it so hard to find companionship.

Fast forward 10 yrs later and here I am a year into neetdom again in my 30s and lonelier than ever. I was lonely before as a wagie but now its worse and I don't know how you long term neets do it.

I might have to leave the neet life and im not looking forward to it. I feel like i wasted so much time not making connections that I know having money and a job wont bring me any of it. I don't see the point going back to being a wagecuck cuz it wont fill t hat emptyness. I wish i stayed a neet back in my 20s and got a neet gf that feeling wasnt as strong as it was now.

IDK sorry for the rant

 No.7130

idk im kinda forced to since i know i wont kill myself. probably

 No.7166

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>>7127
This advice is going to sound bizarre, but try becoming friends with yourself. If you're at odds with your being, harping on yourself for leading a solitary lifestyle, then the constant self-loathing is going to wear on you. Showing kindness will go a long way, especially when you're forced to leave the house and will have to participate in society, whether you want to or not.

One of the ways I dealt with loneliness was creating headmates. Personifying the voice in my head as a character who would talk to me, and want to hang out whenever I needed it, helped a lot. It doesn't even have to be a fictional character- it can be a real person or someone you admire. These friends encourage me to take care of myself and make more positive choices, which is something I never used to do.

 No.7169

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>>7166
I used to have imaginary friends that I imagined talking and hanging out with when I was a preteen. Maybe it's time to bring them back. I'm currently a student and don't have things as bad as OP, but I barely have energy to do much anything and struggle with loneliness, apathy towards my future and the world overall around me and have multiple issues with my mental health and self. It really could help to have an encouraging person with you at all times even when they're not real. Thanks stranger for this advice, I'll try it.

 No.7172

>>7166
Thanks for this advice. Never even thought of it, and that could be very helpful in the day to day. I used to have a couple personifications of different aspects of my personality. I should bring them back.

 No.7174

>>7166
I never tried having an imaginary friend. I want to, but I don't think I could maintain it for that long without losing interest and getting bored. Plus, I have no idea who they'd be, anyway… I wish I had an imaginary friend that would maintain itself.

 No.7175

>>7174
I have similar concerns, but it doesn't hurt to give it a try, does it?

>Plus, I have no idea who they'd be,

Same… but I think I will create it to be like my ideal self/person. It could also be a personification of some of your personality trait, like someone has mentioned here above, or maybe some fictional character you like? Use your imagination freely, it'll be fun for sure.

>I wish I had an imaginary friend that would maintain itself.

Hmm… sounds like a tulpa :)

 No.7176

>>7175
>It could also be a personification of some of your personality trait, like someone has mentioned here above
I like this idea because i'm a very inconsistent person and certain aspects of my personality are at complete odds with other parts. That could work pretty well.

>Hmm… sounds like a tulpa :)

lol are tulpas actually real.
https://www.wikihow.com/Create-a-Tulpa
'determine whether your tulpa is sentient' made me laugh.

 No.7183

>>7176
Great, I agree that it could work then. Good luck with it, hope you the best Anon!

>lol are tulpas actually real.

That wikihow article is absolutely hilarious lol.

I've never interacted with anyone who would've had one, but they sound plausible knowing how tricky our minds can be. Seems extremely hard to achieve something like that though. All the crap about them being actually sentient and some supernatural beings and whatnot is total pseudoscience to me, however

 No.7189

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>>7127

you'll never truly be able to escape the loneliness, because it's part of the lifestyle. the best remedy i've found for my own continued isolation is keeping my hobbies interesting to me and my time spent (relatively) meaningfully. the main enemy of a NEET is also their main perk: the endless amount of time you have. if you're able to focus on something cool, for an extended period of time, being alone for all that time isn't so bad.

>>7166
>This advice is going to sound bizarre

nah, it's good advice. i think most people neglect the importance of a rich internal dialogue. i often run things, like thoughts on whatever film i just watched or anxieties about the days ahead, by my "internal voice", and i can have a kind of back-and-forth between myself and myself. it may not be as extreme as a full-on imaginary friend, but that's honestly just one step away from embracing your inner voice and actually engaging with what it has to say.

 No.7190

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>>7169
>>7172
>>7189
You're welcome. Glad I could help, in some way.

I wasn't entirely sure how anons here would react to this kind of advice, so I was hesitant to label it as "you absolutely must try this". irl, people who don't suffer from anxiety tend to offer unhelpful advice, saying that you just need to be more social, interact with others more, etc. It gets pretty grating at times. This was one of the few things that helped at a time I wasn't getting therapy.

>>7175
>>7174
For me, I always enjoyed writing stories and creating characters. That's how I was able to personify the voices in my head- but it does take effort and time. If you don't have a lot of practice maintaining that inner world, it can be pretty daunting. But it's rewarding at the same time- like lucid dreaming while you're awake.

One thing that's important is to not go too far with it. If that imaginary friend starts berating you, or you're completely relying on them then it'll become a nightmare to deal with. You've got to integrate it with the real world, and pretend it doesn't exist when you're in public, being observed with others.

>>7183
Headmates aren't really tulpas, though they're similar. I'm not sure what else to call mine- people with DiD create systems they're a part of to deal with trauma, and that's where I got the term from.

They're more or less just a group of characters living in this fun world that exists in my head. If I talk to them, they respond. Each has a different personality and acts different.

 No.7210

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>>7174
I've been trying having an imaginary friend recently, if only because i'm exceptionally bored and enjoy experimenting with strange ideas. I haven't had much luck so far. I do intend to keep trying for a while, as consistency is king, but there've been a couple things that have been difficult for me:
1. I have trouble visualizing people, and especially faces. Also, it's hard to decide how realistic to make them, because I find real people unappealing, but I also don't want a bubblegum looking anime character.
2. No matter which personality I go with, I feel i'm always at a blank for what to make them say/do. The problem is that I don't care about anything, and imagining someone that cares about things I don't is hard.
3. It's pretty tiring.
4. It feels very LARPy, which I know is kind of the point, but I can't get the things I say in response to the imaginary person to feel natural/real or actually representative of me. Not only does it feel like i'm playing out another character in my head, but it also feels like i'm playing out myself as a character, and ideally I want it to feel more natural.

What i'd like to achieve is an independent personality in my head, sorta, that would respond automatically or comment on things automatically without much input from me. I think the ability to do this kind of thing might be related to hypnotic suggestibility, which I know is low for me.

 No.7211

>>7210
Not him and don't have any experience on the matter, but you could start with smaller steps.
Personally been trying to start believing in a deity, even though I'm a very cynical person.
Maybe you could start with an animal, or a faceless person. Imagining someone who is more similar to you might be easier for you than imagining someone who isn't. It might also help to get some reference material for the shape or personality you want your imaginary friend to mimic.
My faith has mostly only shown when I'm in situations of high-stress or pain. Perhaps you can find a friend within you to cheer you up when you are feeling down.
The best of luck to you.



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