No.6124[View All]
The hug thread is gone
>>>/c/1313. But I want to keep reporting about it. It's been eight years since the original thread. Would be against the rules to start a new one here?
No.9282
You see, I wished you luck once, but now I am worried that me and others might have been encouraging some dangerous behaviour by doing so. Please be sentient and don't hurt yourself.
No.9359
>>9211Have you made any progress since then?
We're waiting for your next update anon!
No.9381
>>9211I think about this post sometimes. How many years, how few replies. It's not sad to me. It's just itself. It's not like most things are.
No.9384
>>9381He comes around each year, so we'll just have to wait until he comes back.
No.9387
>>9385let's wait and see.
welcome to the long con babey
No.9727
Hello, anons. Happy New Year.
Are we still with me?
So many years of this, one simple life entirely devoted to this absurd task. First of all, I want to assure all of you, I am safe. I went through some incredibly weird situations, but my mental fortitude only strengthened. I no longer accept emails since the previous situation, not that I need reject them though, it seems like most of us aged our way out of here. But not me, I'm still not done.
Has everyone would expect, this corona situation has put everything on hold. It took me weeks to come back home, and when I finally arrived, I was told that my family was losing money. So I need to stay put for now. As you anons may have realized, I do not really have a proper job, my family runs some profitable business and they couldn't care less to what I do, I have much worse brothers so they are glad that I just want to 'travel the world'. They actually get excited to learn about my travels. They do forbid me from going to dangerous countries, so I guess it will take a while for us to know if some descendants of the Inca deep in the Peru jungles know anything about Mado. Of course, I went to some places in secrecy, but there are some places that it is just not worth the danger. The quest lives with me, I can't afford to die yet.
My search has been slowing drifting away from mysticism and going towards science. Maybe someday I could make both of them work together to help me, but for now I'm interested in the theories about parallel universes and what can be find in those. Linking the Unknowns are most likely the key. I have more directions now, and more experience. With every failure I get stronger, right now I'm in peace. Desperation may eventually strike my heart once more. My mind may fail me once again. But I must not give up. The hug is worth my life and my efforts.
Thank you, /uboa/. I hope you can keep following me in this quest, your support is touching.
Here's to another year. Let's do this.
No.9728
>>9727Godspeed, you magnificent bastard
No.9730
>>9727You deserve that hug. For all your determination you deserve it.
No.9763
>>9727Keep going mate. We're all supporting your search.
No.9793
>>9727Keep going, you will definitely get it one day, i can assure you.
No.9922
I'm still here. Anon… are you?
No.9923
Had read all the thread, holy shit you are making some story here. Wish all luck, op. I hope you will find mado one day. I just hope this won't get on TV as serial murder story or something
anon who searches too. But for Lain
No.9926
>>9923I have a deep deep connection with Lain. It was the first thing that blew my mind when I was a kid. In a way Lain is similar to Mado, and they booth deserve a hub. Good luck, anon!
No.9927
>>9793>>9763>>9730>>9729>>9728>>9922>>9923Thank you, anons, all of you. I am still here, yes. This is where it all started, I have a feeling this is where I belong while I'm not out there in my mad quest.
As usual, I am back home for new years celebrations and all that. And to report how things are going. Well, it was a difficult year for me, lost a friend, didn't have much progress, but the progress I had I will report.
My search is basically still the same, it explores religion, mysticism, mind, science and anything else that could help.
I am feeling a lot more calm and commited now, I had to tame my mind and keep the focus going, sometimes I still think the madness will take over me, but I am now dealing with it much better.
Anyway. I've read all kinds of crazy stuff regarding mysticism and all that, but most of them are not pratical or had no results. Also, I really do not want to cause any harm to anyone I am not trying any blood magic or sacrifice, that would be the end of me. I will keep searching for more ways in that field, though. Now, about science, I came up with a possible plan, but the set up is where lies the tricky part, it may be dangerous, so I do not want to try it yet. It is about near death experiences, parallel universes and a bit of faith and religion. Basically, many people talk about seeing 'the light', and that is what I am focusing right now.
As for the ones talking about trying to meet her in a dream… well I did try it. But I can only watch her, never touch, never get close. Even in a 'lucid dream' setting, Mado is just standing there, in a white landscape, I can only see her back, there is always an eerie song playing very very far, and that is all that happens, I wake up after a few minutes and can hardly remember anything else. There is no surprise, no jump scare, nothing. Also, there is no pattern, the dream happens randomly, sometimes I try hard to set up a dream that will have her (sometimes even with hallucinogenics) but nothing happens, sometimes I do the exact same set up and I see the aforementioned scene. Of course, there are times that I do not try any set up and the dream happens again. It is painful to me and it gets me confused, but I am sure it is something I should expect, my mind is deteriorating for sure…
Anyway, thank you, anos! This has going on for more than a decade, but it felt like a few months to me. I still gotta places to go, and things to try. My mind is still in a decent shape, my body is still young. I have only the deep inexorable feeling of doom to fight off every night, but off I go to another round. See you soon!
No.9948
i believe in your anon we're all rooting for you
No.10119
>>9927I'm so glad to have heard from you again man. Why not try look into the golden dawn/Aleister Crowleys whole thing? Could help. In the end i know you'll get that hug.
No.10120
>>9927>he's starting to believe>IM starting to believeyou've made considerable progress with the lucid dreaming, keep going.
you could also consider doing a special (personalised) ritual that would bring bring her into this world as a tulpa permanently. its easy, and if you did, you'd get hugs every day for life :P
check "getting started" in
https://www.tulpa.info/godspeed huganon, that hug is waiting for you
No.10121
I can't tell what's more concerning. The fact that I can't tell if this is real or the fact that this being real wouldn't be too unbelievable. I'm pretty sure this is just a troll, but please don't do anything stupid, Anon.
No.10289
I wonder how many anons are still with me.
I have tried some suggestions I was given in this thread, but somehow some of them felt artificial, and others felt like I had to trick myself into believing in a new reality or something like that.
When you meet someone, talk to them, touch them. You are not tricking yourself into believing that all of it is happening, because it is actually happening, it is the unchangeable reality. So many rituals, esoteric, cults, leaders want you to follow what they say, or follow their procedures. You have to stop thinking for yourself, and must let them guide you, you have to believe in their reality, and trick your own mind into allowing it to happen. But it doesn't feel real.
Science is also not giving much of an answer. Everything is unattainable, the technology needed to even think about it is absurdly hard to grasp.
I have clues, directions, tons of theory. But why doesn't it ever feel real?
Mado is not showing up in my dreams anymore, my own mind feels like it is fading. Possibilities go from endless to void in seconds. I am facing a challenge much bigger than I anticipated. I have fought reality itself for many years now, but reality has absolutely no mercy, it is absolutely solid. No matter how much the intellectuals debate over it, reality won't listen.
What is the cry of a man against the unmeasurable vastness of the Creator.
I will recharge, and I will go once more unto the breach. Thank you, dear friends.
No.10309
>>10289Always a treat to see your posts, man. Checking this thread to see your updates became kinda of a yearly ritual. Be careful out there, and i hope you find what you seek, in any way possible.
No.10325
>>10289You are probably aware of this, but since your dream is insane, you should probably accept that the only way you'll achieve it is by going insane. There's nothing wrong with this, insanity is really only a change in perspective which I'm sure you want. You've probably heard of Nietzsche, and his story, but if not, basically he too had a perspective that could only be truly realized with insanity. Of course he realized it and through it he became a living testament of his ideas.
Similar to him, I think you should also begin to look inwards and realize your idea in yourself. The only control we can have over reality is our perception of it. Actions and interactions only follow naturally from perception, just as people act by their beliefs, impulses, or feelings. None of it would be possible without the perception of it. This is regardless of whether or not there is an objective, concrete reality that exists dependent of our senses. So it is pointless to even consider the existence of a real reality when one is a being that relies on perception to identify said reality.
For you, concrete reality isn't necessary anymore. You should completely reject it and start striving to live completely in your head. It's not as simple as plain egotism however. It's simple for narcissists to look into their own minds and only see themselves. If you're truly adept, when you look inward, into your consciousness, you'll begin to see that there is much more than yourself. Conventionally, or sanely, consciousness is our tie to ourselves, our verification of our own existence. Under insanity, you can realize that it is more: it is our connection to the nonexistent realm of the abstract, or anti reality. Zero, for example, is the quantification of nothing. Of course, zero can't actually exist in reality, only the idea of it. You can't have zero of anything, apparently under sanity. Yet we use zero as a basis for everything, because nothing is somehow the basis for everything. Another example is god. If God is defined as the true creator of all existence then from where did he create existence? If existence did not exist before God, then God didn't exist when he created it. You could say then that God is nothingness, akin to zero. You could say that reality is a copy of something with no original form to copy from. And so I believe you can somehow realize your dream by rationalizing what zero is. Somehow you can rationalize zero hugs. Ie: maybe zero hugs has a verifiable meaning like having 1 hug, based on what zero actually is or isn't? With zero, whatever zero is, anything is possible, since everything that we know comes from zero. I'm sure you could find something in the vastness.
Finally, all of what I'm saying can be called bullshit and I would say it is. Nietzsche rightfully went insane exploring his ideas, although that is from our perspective. If what I've talked about is real then it can't be described in words. However, I feel it in my heart (heart as an analogy for whatever a 'heart' truly is) that it exists though, and I'm sure someone willing like you could find it. I'm a bit of a hypocrite for telling you about finding it when I haven't completely found it myself. I've kind of given up on it because I realized that finding it would be leaving behind things that I don't want to leave behind right now. So there's no real truth to my words, but again I doubt there ever could be. I think you can only believe in it until you find it and finding it means leaving behind a world to tell others about it. But if you are willing, I'm sure it would be a healthy place to find what you're looking for.
No.10668
No post from anon in almost a year… Things are looking grim….
No.10676
Hello, anons. Hello my friends. I come this year, with a heavy, but thankful heart. I had to start a whole new battle for the past 4 months or so, and it seems like I am not getting out of this one.
I have not been physically able to leave the hospital room for a while now. My condition got a bit better during this week, but we all know what that means. I had my family with me, and we had a good time for Christmas and New Year. They did not want to say their good byes, but I could see in their faces the masked sadness.
I want to thank all of you, who followed me during sooo many years. I wanted to say that I have read and tried pretty much everything that was said in here.
Anyway, the tulpa thing… it did not really work, I have tried to create it like Mado, but the Tulpa itself refused to let me think she was Mado. I don't know how to explain, but it was not Mado. It was, however, something that supported me in the search.
Mado is back in my dreams though. She is just standing there, looking away from me. I can see her back against the night sky.
>>10325Anon, I wish I could explain for you better, but I have talked to people and tried something in those lines. But the approaching reality of true insanity always made me back off, I even talked about it some years ago, how my mind was weak and sanity was fading away. But I was afraid to not be properly conscious or self aware of my goals if I followed that path. But it is a valid option I was low key saving for when I wanted to try more extreme measures. Alas, it was not to be. Had I know I would be like this today, I would probably have tried it with 100% commitment.
Anyway, it was a long and incredible journey, and do not get me wrong, boys and girls, I have not given up. I may leave our plane, our reality, our earth, but whatever happens next, the search continues. In a thousand years from now, whoever reads this, be advised, I am still searching. I will get the hug. I will meet Mado.
Remember, even if there are days when the tears won't stop, even if there are lonely nights, you are not alone. I was not alone, for you are all my precious friends who where there with me. You all be good now, I wish happiness to everyone. Keep the dream alive in your hearts, love you all.
Let it be known, here lies the Huganon, a man who has searched. A man who is still searching for eternity.
No.10677
>>10676sucks, but nice to hear an update. if you've got a lot of time to kill in hospital, you could maybe try mnemonic induced lucid dreams (MILDs). Its pretty much just get into the habit of doing reality checks often, but read about it first if you try it. it doesn't hurt to have more control over your dreams.
anyway, i still believe. get better soon huganon (eat lots of food to stay strong). and post your diary or something.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tYzMYcUty6s No.10680
>>10676It's good to hear from you. I'm sorry things have gone awry and that the advice wasn't helpful. Please find it, please be happy, please be strong, whether you're where you are or wherever.
No.10683
>>10676happy new year, good luck solider
No.10688
>>10676I hope to god there comes a time i can read another post from you, but if i can't, I'll have to make an uboachan in whatever afterlife awaits us so i can. Godspeed.
No.10965
This is fine.
