/rec/ - Ex-NEET / Recovery

Counting tends to help me. Very short countdowns that are constant. So like, if I’m procrastinating I shower, sometimes I count myself to stand up, then I count again to start walking, count to turn on the shower, etc. no real pressure, just ‘three two one’ and I stand up. Doing the steps towards the actual tasks like this makes it a bit easier for me to get to the task. It isn’t foolproof though, unfortunately.

keeping track of things seems to really help me. if theres a way you can throw all of your to-do stuff in one (or several centralized) lists it makes it easier to know what it is that needs to be done and what can be prioritized. using a personal discord server for just that has helped a lot of people i know, and goblin.tools seems like a good place to start if youre stuck on where to start on a task. >>529 is very good advice too. ive also heard "just do 5 minutes" of a thing and you'll either get engrossed in the task and just do it, or you'll have 5 minutes of work done which is better than nothing

anon here. small update.

in about two weeks I’ll be out of here.

Despite a lot of shit going down the past couple days, I am starting to feel more safe and loved.

hopefully the move will go smoothly and I will be happy.

thank you for letting me rant

good luck.

Op here. The move took forever, but I’m here now. Tomorrow, I’ll be out and hopefully my new life can begin. I’m nervous, but excited, somewhat feeling like I’ll finally be safe and happy. Maybe I won’t be, but it’s worth a shot.

Hope all of you are well

>>517
i hope things go well for you in this new stage in life :) something i heard from a friend is that one new years, they try to do all the kinds of things they want to do for the year (ie: read more, go to library; be healthier, go to gym etc) i think this is a great time to try that! make ur first day special :)

>>517
that's really cool. I hope today went alright for you, you're doing something to actually change your life which is more than what most of /hikki/ can say at any point.
this wasn't the image I was looking for but it's fitting, hopefully

I don't know what to say about this but i hope you manage to finally do something with your life, this comming from a guy that not only lived like this but will probably return to live like this.
Also fuck women and their tricks.

OP here posting update
finished rehab a little over a week ago and am in the 3.1 house. still on blackout for a couple more weeks so i can't work yet, but there are lots of jobs available around here when i can. recently learned i can stay here up to a year, which more than doubles the amount of money i can save up for when i leave. life in the house is pretty good for the most part, although i do get depressed sometimes and i'm anxious to get to work already
i should clarify that i'm an actual alcoholic and i'm not just exploiting the system, this isn't even the first time i've been through rehab
>>495
thanks for sharing your experience anon, glad it worked out for you. i think things may be easier in my state than yours since you don't really have to deal with any bureaucracy or get proof of homelessness here, you just need medicaid and to complete the program, it's very easy

>>503
hell yeah congrats on going thru with it and getting sober too!!! that's a huge step foward!!
I'm the same person who posted about going thru the system before, that's awesome that it's so easy in your state! have you considered applying for section 8 or other housing programs? a lot of states fast track ppl in halfway houses and similar programs… it'll make that 20k go wayy farther.
good luck on your job search!!

>>505
thank you friend. little update, i've started work, just a shitty part-time retail job, but it's easy and low-stress and i get to put basically 100% of what i earn in savings so the shit pay doesn't matter much. probably won't apply for section 8 since dealing with social services is aggravating and i try to avoid it unless i truly need it. i got a gym membership and exercise every day, my health is the best it's been in years, life is good all around. once i get a couple more checks i should be able to extrapolate how much money i'll be able to leave this place with and start planning for my future. really can't stress enough how strongly i recommend this route to anyone here who has any kind of substance issue

So I got forced out of the NEET life after people committed identity fraud on me. Place has gone to the dogs. I did everything right. Did everything that was asked by welfare and I still got fucked over for it. Ultimately at the end of the day, that’s life. It wasn’t going to be pristine perfect forever. It’d be impossible to get a job here without ID, robotics have taken over the farming industry so no chance to backpack and make money there, tech has pretty much crushed any chance of getting work. No way would anyone here give me work after all the shit that’s happened. Unless it’s something incredibly degrading. I’m basically untouchable by jobs now. I’m guessing the only jobs I could work in are either mental health related or disability related, but no way would they let me near that. I guess that’s what happens when you get cancelled. Bunch of people didn’t like the fact I was NEET for so long, bunch of people didn’t like me being driven to suicidal ideations, so they fucked me over something fierce. I’m not even sure how I’m going to get out of this. People really hate me here so I’m guessing if I die it’ll be because of public opinion and my own stupidity.

I know what it’s like to be bullied because believe me I’ve copped a fuckload of it all my life. Everywhere I go. I wasn’t even aware of what’s happening until recently. So yeah, bunch of people scammed me took me for a ride and I got the shit kicked out of me. Like serious shit. Best to stay quiet, never socialise with anyone no matter how hard they make it. I’d go live the hermit life if I could but someone will find me. They always do nowadays. If you’re a nerd like a lot of us are, the world ain’t kind to you.

Oh yeah anon, i deal with my fair amount of forgetfulness, compulsive daydreaming.
Overall I feel that cognition has dulled.
I don't know if it's due to the fact that i'm nearing 30 of age, or due to social isolation, or maybe it's a mixture of both.

I often have to reread the same sentence multiple times to grasp its meaning.

Anyway, if you ever find a solution, don't forget to update this thread.

psych wards are abuse festivals for the unqualified to help ppl who need it. haven't known anyone who has gotten out of there with their trauma worsened or faking to be better to get out of there asap.

contact a doctor and talk about your symptomps. bring with you a notebook with a written timeline of your life with the most important emotional events with specific months. look out for, besides depression which you probably def have, derealization or dissociative disorders which might cause compulsive daydreaming because your mind might need escapism from something in your life.

look up and ask a doctor about the difference between randomly spacing out and involuntarily dissociating for no apparent reason.

autism diagnosis are given to ppl with other buried beneath issues because it's easier to label someone as an autist than a traumatized person. i talk from experience.

Could it be internet addiction? My mind is always floating off day dreaming about stuff I'm doing online. I need access to the wired everyday all the time and can't function without it. It's impossible to break free too becsuae the internet is everywhere.

I have plenty of problems with this. My mother used to call me "the absent minded professor" when I was a kid because I consistently forgot stuff, lost stuff, left stuff sitting places, went into rooms without knowing why I was there, etc. As I got older I got it just a little more under control, but it's still pretty bad. I've self-diagnosed with Dyspraxia, which presents with poor coordination and physical ability, particularly in childhood (I couldn't hit a baseball off a tee until I was 9) and a solid ability to remember information, but a horrible working memory. It fits me perfectly.

I remember many things very well - for instance, I can easily list all Soviet premiers and party chairmen in order, including the obscure fellas between Kruschev and Brezhnev, and I can likely recall the plot beats and elements of any story I find interesting in detail, even years later. I forgot to get my parents to sign my progress reports in school about 95% of the time. I realize I can't start my car because I forgot the keys about 70% of the time. When I have to go to a new place, I usually recite the directions to myself the whole time, otherwise I will forget them. I had a phase in my teens where my parents would have to notify me that I've been showering too long, because while in there I would lose perception of time and have no idea that I had been in there for two hours.

Some stuff is definitely up with my executive function abilities. I still struggle slightly, though only slightly, with basic coordination. It might sound like ridiculous advice, but I really recommend exercise. Exercise has helped me think better and stay more sane by keeping me more in touch with my body. I only got started as a way to work out my frustrations, but it has helped me feel more real and less confused. I like these methods because I don't have to actually interact with people, and there isn't really a standard for success or failure. I run at night. Sometimes I just do wallsits and pushups and don't even leave my room. Yoga is probably a good starting place. These ideas can easily just be more overwhelming things you don't want to do, so for me, it's easiest if I just think of them as similar to a game or a movie - they're just some new bullshit I'm trying because I'm bored and miserable.

There's probably a lot more to it, but having something that keeps your attention builds up your attention. It's hard, though. I like exercise because it's almost lPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>496
It could be. I started using computers when I was a kid and since I was a loner I'd spend all my days web surfing, using IRC, or posting on forums. Lo and behold I developed severe executive function problems and a fucked up attention span.

>>373
Normal people usually have goals related to their daily lives. A lot of them are really boring.

My advice would be to create goals for yourself at work. If you hate the job, think about what aspects of it are getting to you and try to look at them in a different way.

You can also create projects for yourself to work on. See how fast you can organize these items, try talking to at least three coworkers, bring a notebook and draw in it, etc. Make a game out of this, which will pass the time quicker.

>>373
Goals don't necessarily have anything to do with working, you may or may not work, that doesn't change your goal of becoming the greatest Minecraft youtuber in the world Anon.

…one day

>>373
>>373
>What kind of goals do normal people have? A few months into a part-time job and nothing feels fundamentally different from NEETdom. I don't know what I'm supposed to be toiling over.
Normal people have some sort of instinct that makes being a wageslave drone fun. You don't have that, I don't have it either. But having money is still necessary, so you have to adapt. Work should never feel like a good thing. Work is simply necessary

>>405
Wonder if it's dependent on finding the right job or wageslaving will always be like this. I've been "allowing" myself new purchases with the extra money but it's a lot less gratifying than I was imagining.

I think I was expecting too much from getting a job.

They stopped renewing my contract last month, back to NEETing. Learned that I'm really bad at juggling work, commuting, and personal interests. Can understand the people who say they don't have hobbies now. Getting older, running out of time.

>>414
I'm most interested in games and literature. Video games are the only medium I can think in with any sort of flow, thinking in coherent sentences is really difficult (that's why it takes me so long to respond, sorry again about that). I think literature is a much better way of interacting with reality through art, my thinking on video games is usually either generating realities or exploring within the medium (they do have a unique ability for placing the player in liminal spaces though which is a very interesting way of interfacing with reality). Games' disadvantage is that they're overtly art, there's less possibility for "is this real?" in them than there is in writing (there are examples though when it comes to authorship and the story surrounding it's creation. Sad Satan is like that. The Beginner's Guide is a very interesting one. I've wanted to make games that touch this mode of thinking too, and I'm sort of convincing myself now that I'm wrong to suggest they're less powerful than literature for it, but there are things writing is just better for. Language is true by default, that's what it was developed for, while games are fiction by default and you have to try very hard to touch the player's idea of truth. When I'm free I want to explore the world, and I'll probably make a blog or something of stories from my travels, partly for the sake of communication but partly as a medium of creation. I'd invent characters and places and warp the aesthetics of occurrences and myself, not to convince people of a lie (I wouldn't care if people knew or not) but as a way of crystalising ideas and altering my way of experiencing reality. All communication breeds aesthetic, topological and factual parasites in the speaker and the receiver, what I want to do is be aware of and engineer those parasites to be forces for good.

Sorry for not closing that parenthesis by the way, the more I continued that line of thought the more dumber it felt to put a ) at the end.

>>413
>What I really need is to physically get away from my family, and at that point whether they want to accept stuff or not isn't my problem, but I'm not capable of working a proper job so I don't know how I'll ever do that
bro if i'm reading this correctly she's helping you from becoming a homeless drug addict yet you want to move out despite not having an income. you need a good smack on the head for being ungrateful. get a job THEN start thinking about moving out

>>421
I don't want to get into an argument about this but I'll address it because what I sound like to you is probably how everyone with the same problem sounds to those with different experience. Yes my parents are the reason I'm not homeless or dead or something. They're also the reason why without them I WOULD be homeless. From day 1 I was conditioned to be incapable. There's so much shit from the past which I thought was just unfortunate at the time but looking back is extremely abnormal and bad. You can say oh it's easy to blame your parents, but they're your entire reality from when your brain is hot playdough until you start going to school, and after that they stay about half of it. It took me a long time to understand how much that means. I'm really trying to get stronger, grow the bits that didn't grow and change the bits that went wrong, but it's not easy at all, and I know I won't be able to do enough while I'm living here. You're asking me to be grateful for being forced to someone's mercy.

>>396
You're right, this happened to me, my mother raised me to dependant and ineffectual, it's a terriblee thing to do to a child.

>>420
cat video proved wrong
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jto2peSOLac

I've come to find I will always feel like I'm just running in place. In a lot of fields I actually am, and in some I'm even running backwards, but nonetheless I try run at the same pace time marches. Keep running.

aw, hug

I often feel the same. When I feel less hopeless, I can tell myself that there is no shame in spinning your wheels. So long as you yourself feel like an attempt is being made it actually matters very little where progress is or isn't being made. Maybe a few more weeks of effort will reap a reward… but when it gets bad, it is hard to believe in anything at all. The only way to keep the hope alive is to keep on trying, and to keep making a push.
IMO, the best thing you can do is to think about how you can achieve sociability in stages. You need only push out of your comfort zone a little at a time to give yourself a chance, to make progress - and that too might feel like being stuck in place at first. Don't know what social skills you feel you lack, but your post is coherent and emotional, so maybe look into talking in VC online, undergoing remote therapy, or having yourself go outside with those people who are around you and get them to give you that push to interacting with people outside. I am in that latter phase right now, and am desperately hoping to be able to talk to strangers without someone else present soon.
Just a few suggestions. Disregard if I am assuming too much. Best of luck, anon. You're on the way there.

When people tell me I've come so far I assume they are just being polite. They don't want to point to obvious glaring problems so they try to talk positive but can't find anything specific to mention. It's why I hate those words becuase people are just trying to make you feel better when really they see you as a piece of shit.

I've literally failed in life. I never made friends in high school or college, I can't hold down a job and I hate leaving my home. I was fired for being too quiet. I even suck at being a weeb.

Of course your university degree will still be valuable. I can't speak from personal experience, but one of my relatives only started university at 25, and he's pretty successful. It really depends on what you are more in favour of doing, you can get a basic IT or teaching degree in a couple months and that'll already land you an alright job. If you know another language, you could look into applying for an online job, content moderation being a pretty alright one. Really you have a lot of options for potential career avenues that would only need maybe a month of training or a 1-2 month long degree that could then just land you a whole career, your options are pretty open.

>>471
I dropped out, but when I was at uni, there was a 30 years old guy. I'm pretty sure that he graduated and got a job because he was really motivated and knew almost everything.

>What should I start working on now?
You should read about various topics. Go to a library or something and browse the non-fiction books.

>Please help me to find something to do. I want it to be important or profitable.
You should find something that interest you because you will be much less motivated to do something just for the money.

just letting you know that I’m currently a uni student and several of my classmates are much older than that. there’s a fourty something year old in the class. one of my friends is twenty seven. another classmate is in their thirties. It is literally never too late

Finishing uni is 100% worth it OP. You are very very young even though it may not seem like it and finishing uni at 22 is genuinely early by many people's standards these days. Adolescence is lasting into people's late 20s and even in some cases early 30s today. You finish uni in your early 20s and you'll be ahead of the pack.