/rec/ - Ex-NEET / Recovery

i got a job and after awhile, managed to score a boyfriend. things are going well for me but i still get bad urges. every time there's a minor inconvenience, my brain is convinced there's no reason for me to continue doing things. "if i lock myself back up, nothing bad will happen" type of mentality. although things are so positive in my life i still want to crawl back in and hide. what's wrong with me?

started applying for jobs *tumbs up*

>>737
i feel the same in some respects, sounds like fickle pain tolerance

>>738
WISH E LUCK GUS :*THUMBU**

i've been out of the hikki life proper since february 2023, i started working in a greenhouse, in march and april of 2024 i started making social connections, mid september 2024 i moved out of my parents house in bumfuck nowhere and started squatting in a city that has community i felt connected to. in december of 2024 i quit working to spent full time on community volunteering in social.cebtrrs and punk bars and fixing stuff in squats.

i feel like recently ive been falling back on hikki tendencies and dont really know what to do about it, I'd like it of i was more socially outgoing then i currently am.

I definitely can relate with feeling like a NEET and being a member of society. I used to feel that way in school.

A few years later, Im a NEET. Wondering if I should end it all.

You probably wont read this, but how are you doing now?

Interestng pic,

>I feel dread every time I hear the microsoft teams notification sound.

painful pits in my stomach the moment i imagine -work-meat-space lol

Don't end it, your picture selection is a banger and after all your end would be another useless action in a line of useless actions that brought you here.
How about this: There are evil gods scheming against you and the way to beat them is to fight against their influence and go out.

>>698
It can't be that stupid if so many of us feel the same way.

At some point I managed to find joy in my work to justify waking up in the morning, but I can't do that any more, people are just unbearable. I have about 1 hour of free time per day. I can either read or play piano. Then it's back to bed and repeat it all over again. What are we even working for, for 1 hour of free time, feeling exhausted?

>What are we even working for
The idea is to have a population stupid enough to not ask these questions, or otherwise stupid enough to believe voting will fix it.

I hate it, I hate living… it's become so hard to even enjoy escapism anymore, because I just get sad that reality is so dull and grim. everybody just latches onto whatever is popular and regurgitates the same boring memes and buzzwords over and over again, everyone has surface level interest in the most banal and pointless things. i know i sound edgy and pretentious but I am so tired of it. it feels like an insurmountable issue meeting anybody who deviates from the norm in any significant way. when I read manga or watch anime or play games, i feel like the characters in them are even more "real" than actual people, because they have strong personalities and they differ from each other and they aren't all talking about politics and memes and porn and other stupid shit all the time. it makes me so frustrated. at one point, i was even in love with a fictional character. not just calling her my "waifu" as a joke, but i felt real love and affection towards her the same way i have with real people in the past. it sometimes hurt to think that she could never love me back, but i loved her so strongly that most of the time i didn't care about that… but then things changed and she wasn't the same character i had grown so close to. it feels like i can't have anything. i can't even make a one-sided relationship with a fictional character work. I wish i wasn't afraid of dying because i don't want to be alive… even if i ever met anyone nice and interesting i have nothing to offer them… my life is completely unnecessary

>>698
I can’t stand being outside I feel like I don’t belong there.

I really don’t know what i want to do in life i literally model myself off fictional characters all i do is spend time in my room do you have any suggestions on how to get better and sorry for the way i write this post its my time here and im still trying to learn

>>665
i shower too much. always afraid of being too moist or smelly or sticky. i can't wait until i can be a brain in a vat.

I graduated high school in 2018 and almost immediately became a neet since I didn't really have any plan or goals after high school, only taking a temporary break in the first half of 2021 to study a field I have no interest in but both my parents really insisted I should pursue it. We're not rich and they spent a lot of money, but I never ended up succeeding due to flimsy medical reasons, and thus continued being a neet for the next couple of years.

Just started my very first day at college studying a degree I have no interest in but only pursued because of the ease of landing a job; since I'm a neet with no work experience or skills, even landing a part time job at the shittiest of places is nigh impossible. I haven't really spoken to my high school friends since graduating and almost every single one of them is successful; two even graduated from the same college I'm currently attending (one graduating in 2021 and the other in 2024). It's pretty lonely here since everybody else seems to already have established friend groups, and I hate how all my classes are in the late afternoon.

Seeing the absurd costs for just one year at college is making me think twice about enrolling here due to the student loans and not wanting to financially burden my parents any further. But I know if I quit, then there really isn't future for me other than the rope, so it seems like I'll continue to study at college. The problem is whether I'd be able to successfully study or not, considering that the obscene amounts of studying (about 14 hours per day) that I did during my small break from neetdom I had in 2021 made me constantly day dream about doing a murder-suicide (though not seriously). Fingers crossed I'll be able to pull through these next three to four years by myself.

>>669
Nothing worth doing is easy anon, thaf's what makes being a neet so appealing.
I found the best way to meet new people is clubs (like school clubs) and volunteering.

It's going to feel awkward as hell the first time you do it but truat me when I say it gets easier. A little psychology trick here is that people
A.)Love to talk about themselves
B.)Join clubs for things that interest them
C.)are generally very excited when people want to learn about something they're passionate about.
This gets them talking to you and generally makes them predisposed to liking you.

I'd suggest you keep with school for now, even putting
>some higher education but no degree
On a resume is helpful for some jobs. I'm also sure your parents want you to get in a better spot so for god's sake take the help they're offering.

>t. Former socially retarded, neurotic neet who went to ATC school, washed out, then went from volunteering at an anime convention (because I couldn't afford the ticket) to being one of the volunteer coordinators because I played too much OpenTTD and got good at scheduling I guess.
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>>671
Appreciate the advice anon. On my second week and I'm already exhausted by it, haha. The carpark's always full so I have to park far away from the campus and all my classes, at the very least, end some time in the afternoon so I've been finding it difficult to find a job since all the part-time ones are either way above my league (eg. being an experienced or educated in a field/skill) or clash with my classes. It's also summer right now where I live so making the trek from campus to my car makes it even more exhausting, so I end up coming home too tired to do any homework or any of the required reading. I'm just glad that the workload isn't as bad as I had it in 2021 (at least not right now…)

>>671
>field service work
What do you service, anon?

I'd like to have that mindset XD And I'm glad that you're re-integrating into normal society. The benefits are quite good. For some reason I think I'll never fit in, though. It's like the same experiences from my childhood keep repeating over and over again throughout my life. First with kids, then with teenagers, and currently with adults.
It's kinda scary.
But, again, I'm happy that you're doing well! Keep moving forward :-)

hi , helth update. it looks like ive been suffering from extremely bad head pressure/headache for years on end unbeknownst . i realize this as i really tried doing chin tucks and head stretches properly just last night and feel instantaneously better.

i hope entire years of this hasnt fucked my brain/head/etc irreversibly

i think now i will be better at sensing, and

>>720




do you think this is something thats within your control thats affecting your experiences

>>718

do you know a community i could fit into and if not how to cope being alone for the rest of my life

>>718
please help me with some realistic perspective. right now i just feel like everything is skate 3 ragdoll physics

>>656
What's this angel cat art from anon? Unique style I haven't seen before, would make a good game.

>>659
the low-res textures being contrasted with the high-fidelity uv maps is really cool. i've been wanting to get into modelling for a while. what do you guys think of my birba?

>>660
I'd say you're already pretty into modelling! You're birba looks great.

A bit of an update:

Thanks all for the kind words and advice. I cringed pretty hard rereading my epic self pity rant here lol. Thanks uboa for the advice and taking the time to read my slop lol.

I've realized recently how much of a fair weather fan I am when it comes to my own life. When I'm in the dumps I can't seem to get out (see the parent post), but when I'm happy I might as well be floating. I can't imagine thinking any of the stuff I did 4 weeks ago right now.

The spring semester has been going really well. I'm making new friends, exercising a lot, doing my HW and reading a ton, and praying/reading the bible every day. I also joined that self-defense club and it's been unexpectedly fun so far. Please send me ur positive energy /rec/anons, I really want to keep up what I've got going.

There's this cute girl who's friends with a new friend of mine. She's in the same class as us, but I haven't talked to her much even though we sit in the same area and have a mutual friend. I get pretty obsessive about the people I like and they start to take up like 10% of my waking thoughts, and the same thing is happening with this girl, but unlike the other times I think I might have Jesus encouraging me for this one, because something kind of crazy happened tonight.

I was at the dining hall sitting outside and for some reason I thought to myself "If that girl is in the dining hall when I go inside to put my dishes away I'm going to go talk to her one-on-one."

Sure enough when I went back inside she was there. No joke. I did like 5 circles around the hall before I steeled myself to talk to her. I literally mentally said to myself: "Come on dude, Trust Jesus, this is a gift, just do it, just go talk to her." and was finally able to drag myself over to her. We had a normal conversation about a shared class and she gave me her number and I almost had a nervous breakdown leaving the dining hall afterwards lol. It's been really long since I've had a real crush and I'm still kind of freaking out over it.

>>655
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>>666
Sounds like you found your own ego not Jesus. You saw the girl sitting in the dining hall, decided you wanted to talk to her of your own free will, and then ascribed divine providence to her sitting there or not, which is of her own free will, and then affirmed such supposed providence when she was in order to psyche yourself up to go talk to her. And grats on talking to her and all and doing well and all, but I'm not even an athiest and this kind of line of thinking irks me. You are not so special as to have a personal line to God and he is not talking to you like that. So, so, so many people have spiraled into psychosis because they misidentify their own thoughts as external ones given to them by a divine power.
You're also selling yourself short, you are capable of doing courageous things of your own volition.

I write in my journal a lot. Even when im with others i'll often be listening and participating with the conversation as I draw my surroundings or maybe some fantastical creatures or whatever.
I've found that it helps me mull over my thoughts so I can say them with more confidence when I eventually do say them. I use both digital and traditional journals.

lol covid NEETs, good post otherwise.