/ot/ - Off-topic

my fucking girlfriend went insane, cheated on me twice, and ruined both of our lives over the course of a year. she was so shitty to me that her calling her side piece after our couples therapy session was not even surprising. we were happy. maybe she wasnt but i was and she didnt have the guts to tell me she didnt want to marry me but also didnt want to stop trying to get me to be okay with opening our relationship. i want to hate her so much and part of me does but i also loved her wholly and completely and i miss her every day. im so detatched from everybody else in my life that i dont have anyone to pour myself into and im just a pot boiling over constantly. i hate my life and i hate what she did to me but i still want her to come back and be the person she used to be. im so fucking pathetic and sad. everytime i think im getting over it i think of something and it all comes back and crushes me. i am in so much pain