/hikki/ - NEET / Advice

>>7764
What country or region of the world? This question impacts what kind of advice may or may not be useful. I never went to high school but I know it sucks for a lot of people.

>>7764
I am also from a third world country, similar situation but it is my last year in college.
Have been bullied my whole life, have results coming and I know i have failed and my parents cannot afford it anyway. Haven't had friends since primary, prefer staying in my room. For some reason I have just been unable to study. I don't know why, I try but I cannot. Not to mention I keep having more and more issues that I have no control over. I'm basically waiting for this year, hoping I can do well because I know if I cannot move to another country I will finally have to consider whether I want to live anymore. It would be either that, or to try and repeat another year to fix my shit. Though even that is unlikely. There are still universities which will accept you despite mediocre or just plain shitty grades, try to see if you can find any. Then just try to study in uni, which is easy to say but I know it will be utterly miserable. But if you do that, then apply for a scholarship for Masters in another country. If you do not get a good enough scholarship, make sure to work part-time at least to make enough money to support yourself for the rest.
Though, my advice is not great. I am already too delusional about my future and I don't think I'll be able to move out anyway. But it's either that or to stop trying completely.

>>7768
I suspect your lack of seizing initiative to study -much like my own case- is spearheaded by a lack of any communal push to incentivize you in doing so.
It is only natural, after all, that abstinence from something important [ in this case an intimate external element necessarily demanding some requirements of you for 'base' participation ] will ensue in the unwitting persistence of something insignificant [ anything that isn't *that* thing [ studying ] ]
I lost my ability to clearly speak physically after never having done so for only 8 months straight and to no surprise, with the added combination of neglecting social engagement on my part at all, I lost aspects of cognition like short term memory.
It's meaningless to me, now, anyway, and my efforts to exert some change, as I'm doing now, are probably pointless.
You get used to paradigms you create even if they're damning or maybe, despite them being damning, you still learn to thrive in them?
It's true that I can -and have- reaped motivation from toilets and seats in some of the most demanding of cases rather then colleagues and 'friends', sometimes still doing so today, so most significances warp to becoming insignificant in the progression to a new pattern.
OP if there's any silver lining to my above experience, it's that 'going outside' 'friends' 'similar people' 'depression' 'depersonalization' are eventually swept away by an ocean of numbness which will birth some degree of psychosis; definitely a failsafe triggered at the absence of all things needful.
Someone else or maybe yourself will lead you to a more appropriate path but if all things go wrong, know that it won't be too bad. You'll only be mentally decrypt in some ways and likely insane.

>>7769
I think at this point no push could really help me. My only want in life so far has been to just leave it all behind to be alone, I would like to think that I could just commit suicide if I wanted to as a last resort but I don't think I'd ever be able to. I've already felt worse and worse for quite a while yet I still haven't. In the past couple years I especially started to go less and less outside, talked to less and less people and felt less and less comfort online and in real life. There wasn't anything for me to do in my day-to-day, there still isn't, so I just told myself that the reason other people could study while I couldn't was cause they had things in their life that gave them a reason to do so. Maybe things might go right, but I don't think they will. I like what you have written here, don't know what else to say.

>>7771
Gosh man, I really sympathize with you, I'd say we're in similar boats, haha. I stopped going outside and even trying to socialize and interact with people and I get to feel uncomfortable being online and in real life. But I really believe in things will get better eventually, either that or I'm just lying to myself and I want to think that.