hey you posted on my birthday
>my family's stares and their opinions about me
id tell you to distance yourself but youre living with them, arent you?
>the shame that is my existence
what's shameful about not talking to people? hell, what's shameful about being a loser? it just is? nothings right or wrong, or shameful or heroic because they're all arbitrary. cogito ergo sum, thats the only thing you know for sure.
if you're going to base your life on something arbritrary, which when we come down to it, all moral systems or lack thereof are, at least make the choice yourself.
>suicide might be a pussy move when there's a chance that your life will get better
this makes it seem like you're basing it on hedonism i.e. maximising happiness. in that case, what gives you happiness? im gonna sound like one of those carpe diem shills but fuck it, why aren't you doing that?
>inb4 "nothing gives you happiness"
you're not thinking hard enough. cocaine doesnt give you happiness? meth leaves you undeterred? though to be fair, they're hard to get for aspies like us, i myself have never done any of those things. you get the idea however, right?