/ot/ - Off-topic

I confessed to a girl to be my girlfriend, since we were on really good terms and enjoyed each other's company. As for our relationship prior, we were good college friends and had a lot in common. She was a near perfect definition of a girl that fit my preferences from physique and character, not to mention interests; that were interlinked with my own.

During the start of our new relationship, I had done my best to change myself to be more productive and talkative, like she was and even done my part in buying some admittedly expensive gifts on various events (an art book on her birthday, a switch videa-game during valentines… etc).

Just about two months in, she had been ignoring me and stopped talking to me face-to-face and on the web. I had no idea if I did, or said something wrong and apologised on multiple occusions, but to no avail. She eventually began hanging out with another guy, who I assume is her boyfriened now and barely acknowledges me anymore.

I was and still am dumbstruck by everything that happened. It hurts just seeing her everytime I walk pass her to class, or when she is also happly talking to her boyfirend and making new friends, all the while I have to sit there and endure it. I tried being stronger by getting over it and deleting our chat logs, social-medias and such, but it does not help. She never even openly said that she whats to break-up with me, which only leaves me more confused. I sucks that I am in this position, it sucks that I spent my hard earned money on her and it sucks that I had even met her.

Hopefully, I subside these feelings with time, but I am just not feeling optimistic about anything, at the moment. What do I do?

(The picture is a Koishi figurine that I had gifted to her. She was in to Touhou, just as much has I was.)

I've lived in America for my entire life and I'm really starting to get fed up with some stuff about it and I don't know to do except vent about it. I just want to know what other people think about these grievances.
1.Puritanical society: America was founded by puritans and other such zealots and even today that's readily apparent in common culture. An obsession with not just the preservation of some archaic, arbitrary moral code, but also with the status quo is ever-present in just about most of the people you meet here. Preconceived notions and lessons beaten into people command day to day life. Take the typical American. Their head is filled with handstand logic and back flip principles that they don't even consider for a second might be wrong. What's more annoying than what people believe, is their insistence on its rightness and exepectation that others conform to it.
2. Society of slaves: America has always been carried by the labor of exploited people and it has only prospered either when a source of people to exploit was readily available or everybody else was screwed up. Every point in history, everything. Colonial times, blacks. Industrial Age, for a short time, actual Americans. Railways, the Chinese. Today, Indians, Chinese and Mexicans. You could say this about pretty much every society, but only America is obsessive about their being the best while having citizens who are unwilling to labor in a farm because they think that they are too good for that. Everybody just has to spend a fuck load on college so they can get a liberal arts degree and drown in debt.
3. Everything is shit: The airports, the cities, the public transportation, the schools, the roads, every other part of infrastructure, they're all filthy and and horribly out-dated and in a state of disrepair and decrepitude. Even in the oldest parts of the country, the architecture is drab and done with as little care as possible. Every house is just a block thrown together. New York has a few nice, gothic buildings, but the rest is either the same boring, modern fare , or a rotting stack of bricks. Look at the subway!
4. Nothing ever changes: Look at the sprawling mass of emptiness, the endless, lifeless suburbia where children are sheltered and locked up in the most literal form of a physical and mental bubble as they could be. Look at all the small, shitty towns. Look at the bizarre mountain people who may or may not be inbred. Look at the shitty food filled with cPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

Focus on yourself, nobody else, king.

i just want to be held. my last girlfriend cheated on me, she was also my first girlfriend. i cant imagine ever being loved again. ever being in a relationship like that again. im repulsed by it and yet i crave it so badly. to just be held and loved by another human romantically. my only comfort is my fictional boyfriend who i cant even admit is fictional because im so fucking delusional and heartbroken and i feel so broken that i resort to being loved by fucking characters. i just want to leave me house again. it all went downhill after her. i feel pathetic. i stopped showering regularly. i dont groom myself. i stopped seeing my friends in person. i pushed away everybody

when does the downward spiral stop?

/ot/ - Off-topic

>pick up hobby to try and bring some color into life
>realize that i'm no good at it
>drop it
>cycle repeats
anyone else? it's like i just am not allowed to have fun
hobby in question was "roleplay" by the way. though i say i've given up, i know that i'll probably be back in like, a week (or spend this week trying and failing to enjoy myself before i finally go 'fuck it' like i did for art).

What do you think about incels uboachan? Are they some kind of reverse wizard? are they just normies trying to look edgy? maybe they are just in the closet?

Halloween is by far my favorite holiday. Every year I like to stay up late watching something horror related while occasionally glancing into the empty street outside my window. Last year I watched the first four episodes of Higurashi and I loved it. I already finished the series and I don't feel like repeating it. I'm looking for suggestions of what I can watch this year(preferably anime). I also already watched the corpse party ovas. Thank god I didn't waste a Halloween on that shit.

I watched Roma yesterday because I wanted to expand my perspective and try new things. I wanted to go far out of my comfort zone. It sucked. A pretentious bore. I understood what is was trying to go for, I understood the symbolism and what the obscure details meant. I still hated it. Why? I didn't connect with the characters. They were all unlikable or boring, blank skates. Whatever empathy I felt for the mc, Cleo, is the same amount I would have for a stanger. I don't get to know anybody. None of the characters truly develop either. The way they act at the beginning and what you can imagine them doing, remains entirely the same at the end. The mother does become more self-assured after she has to become a career woman, but this might only be visible because of the actress. It wasn't coveyed particularly well by the writing and plot. Cleo just felt like an alien to me. She was quiet, dumb and naive. At the end, she was a bit less naive. This again, was not coveyed through much action. She has one line of dialogue that indicates this. The revolution backdrop of the movie feels totally separate from the main plot and I didn't have the background knowledge to understand why it was happening. The film gives no insight into this.

The film seemed to me like a propaganda piece made to give a human face to Mexicans and get me to sympathize with them more. I'm not deliriously cynical enough to completely believe this was for political reasons, but I wouldn't be suprised. It failed. It has two hours to accomplish the bare requirement for a compelling story and it failed. I didn't even learn anything new. It was like a late night soap operaish flick with a few extra embellishments like class struggle. Nothing new or suprising. It seems like a movie made by Mexicans for Mexicans. How it got so much praise is a mystery to me.

Nature loves Freedom