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/hikki/ - NEET / Advice

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File: 1500002429665.jpg (36.99 KB, 450x281, anime_girl_by_tinkusandhu0….jpg)

 No.3641[Reply]

Feeling suicidal right now. I have what my doctor calls major clinical depression and I also have some drug addiction. I've been living the neet life this year because I dropped out of school to be on medication. I feel like I'm only going to college in the first place so people don't yell at me.
I don't think I've posted here in years. I'm a wreck right now because one of my friends who has used this site from time to time died of drug overdose recently.
None of my friends seem to like me anymore and everyone I've cared about seems to hate me now. I have no motivation. I feel dead inside. All I want is to not be alone but I can't seem to alleviate that.
I've just been sitting here listening to sad piano music crying for an hour or so. I don't know what to do.
I'm a giant waste of potential no one cares about and I'm only getting older from here.
I can't function without antidepressants anymore. Nonstop suicidal thoughts all day everyday. I got back on them this week because I was going crazy again. I live in constant fear that I'm just going to snap one day. When I'm off my meds I have impulses to kill myself and my brain tells me exactly how to do it. It bothers me that I could end my life in less than a minute at all times.
I really don't know what to do.
I'm probaby never going to kill myself I'm just stuck in a constant state of my mind telling me to.
54 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.3777

>>3776
I posted here sad and than in the very next post I made I made it clear I realized what had happened to me and that I was going to reflect on my behavior. My only regret is not being clear headed on what I was doing until now. If you feel like your volunteered time is wasted it seems like more your issue. I feel like if read properly there is a lot to learn about depression, the human psyche and existence, brought to the front of our minds for discussion.

After thinking things out I don't think people hate me and I don't really hate anyone else. I feel like we are suffering from a cosmic chain of karma where one person is poorly reacting to another person poorly reacting to something else over and over. I seek the truth a lot of the time in order to see things like this.
I don't hate people, I just get overwhelmed a lot. I'm pushing my thoughts in places like this imageboard post in order to uncover the truth about how I really feel and use what I learn from exploring to better myself. A long time ago is that if you don't put any attempt into nurturing your emotions it is going to slowly hurt you as a human being.
Anyway, I have a therapist and they are actively working with me to realize where depression has damaged my thinking patterns and self image. I feel embarrassed to be putting the worst possible version of myself in plain view to be quite frank. If you feel angered as an anonymous blip of energy by this thread I don't know what else to tell you.

 No.3786

>>3777
op here
man i'm a dick
I realize now my spirit has been very hostile to people lately. I just don't know how to work up the courage to turn that part of me off anymore. I'm really afraid of being taken advantage of again.

 No.4021

My mind is back on the subject of depression holes again. It's interesting to witness the effects of my deteriorated mental state when I make an intent of marking my place in the world somewhere such as a messageboard. Where was I at that moment? Why couldn't me in that moment feel the more overall lucid me? What thought mechanisms led me to think this way? Where did I pick these thought mechanisms Up? What do I give to others? That last question is one of the things that bothers me the most about my own depressive episodes. I have an extremely large presence due to the the nature of me being one of intellectual pursuit and awareness. That combined with being someone well studied at expressionism I feel like I can get people to understand the thought mechanisms I am using to think of the things I'm trying to express. Basically I am good at letting people know how I came to my conclusions(although this isn't always true due to the inherent imperfectness of nature, at least that's what I'm going to say for now anyway "don't quote me on anything")

 No.4022

File: 1509745993229.jpg (157.52 KB, 850x612, __karl_marx_real_life_draw….jpg)

>>4021
I've got a question for you. You're one of the hikki-phantoms(that's what i'm gonna call people who only post in the hikki board) so you should be able to answer me. Why don't you guys ever post in any other threads, huh? Where were you on Halloween? Anyway, I feel like you're just drowning in your own pseudo-intellectualism. Instead of trying to change you, just brood and write long, overly verbose sentences to ask meaningless questions.
>It's interesting to witness the effects of my deteriorated mental state when I make an intent of marking my place in the world somewhere such as a messageboard.
Get a real hobby and mark the world with something more meaningful. At least write an actual book.
>Where was I at that moment?
Which moment?
>Why couldn't me in that moment feel the more overall lucid me?
Were you on drugs when you wrote this? Stop doing drugs. Depression does not force you to be a drug addict. It may be hard to quit, but depression or not, you should either at least try or be content with your shitty life and not complain about it, or try to improve.
>What thought mechanisms led me to think this way? Where did I pick these thought mechanisms Up?'
By thought mechanisms do you mean thought patterns, or the biological functions that cause thought? the latter can't be, "picked up", so i'm going to guess that you mean the former.
>What do I give to others? That last question is one of the things that bothers me the most about my own depressive episodes.
Care to elaborate on why this bothers you, or on anything at all in a clear way? You probably give them nothing. It is unbelievably arrogant of you to think that you're giving anybody anything by explaining your, "thought mechanisms", and philosophical ideas. This is especially true because of the surplus of philosophical writings that already exist and are better than anything you or I could come up with.
>I have an extremely large presence due to the the nature of me being one of intellectual pursuit and awareness.
No you don't. you have practically no impact on the world just like almost everybody else.
>That combined with being someone well stuPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

 No.4023

>>4022
>I've got a question for you. You're one of the hikki-phantoms(that's what i'm gonna call people who only post in the hikki board) so you should be able to answer me. Why don't you guys ever post in any other threads, huh? Where were you on Halloween? Anyway, I feel like you're just drowning in your own pseudo-intellectualism. Instead of trying to change you, just brood and write long, overly verbose sentences to ask meaningless questions.
I have many other posts on this website then just on /hikki/. I guess I'm just posting because yolo?

>Get a real hobby and mark the world with something more meaningful. At least write an actual book.
I'm a writer, message boards are just one of many portals I can access too improve my skills.

>Which moment?
The moment when I posted on this messaeboard, although I guess I'm also trying to sum up the idea of a vague moment of artistic expression and the idea that we can analyze those moments in the future with new eyes.

>Were you on drugs when you wrote this? Stop doing drugs. Depression does not force you to be a drug addict. It may be hard to quit, but depression or not, you should either at least try or be content with your shitty life and not complain about it, or try to improve.

Yea I was on drugs when i wrote this, I took some stuff to undo the damage to my brain that antidepressents did. A vicious cycle I know but I do not plan on taking any more substances from this point

>By thought mechanisms do you mean thought patterns, or the biological functions that cause thought? the latter can't be, "picked up", so i'm going to guess that you mean the former.
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.


File: 1506434559665.jpg (172.41 KB, 850x977, __momoe_nagisa_and_tomoe_m….jpg)

 No.3871[Reply]

I feel like I want to become full and proud neet after I finish school this year
I don't want to work or study or anything
how can I earn money easily as a gurl
any sites to sell voice to dubs or something? I can sing pretty ok I guess
or record lewd voices for money or something
any other way?
I would draw too but first I must efford fucking graphic tablet shieeet
8 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.3904

When I quit my depressing ambulance job over a year ago I got into stock market. Made some monies there but wasn't enough to go full-neet.
Recently switched to cryptocurrency trading and this has brought in much more money.
I'd depleted alot of my funds in the meantime so I'll have to go back to at least part-time work, but if I can bolster my bank account enough then I should be able to at least tread water financially with online trading. In order to be GUD at it I'll have to spend 8-10 hours daily doing chart research and making trades, so it's like a regular job, but on my terms, plus I won't have to leave the house. (But on my terms, without boss, so it's better than some crappy tele-commuting job or something).
I'd suggest getting books and looking up articles, and doing research on Technical Analysis and trading in general. HOWEVER this is very risky and if you screw up then you can lose money just as easily as you can make it, and drive yourself ever-deep into THE PAUPER'S ABYSS!!
Be careful if you decide to do this.
I didn't really mean this as advice, since it's risky and all, but just wanted to share this since it's what I did and I've had varying degrees of success with it over time..
It is very stressful though, so one should be wary if prone to getting depressed…

 No.3997

As a (cute) girl you could always whore yourself out, but yeah…
The only realistic ways I know of to make money as a social recluse are the aforementioned method, going full pariah (scamming the elderly, selling drugs… not really advisable either) or having a very specific skill such as stock market or programming AND being proficient at it. Unless you fit in the later category, as a non-hikki you'd be much better off finding some part-time job and paying the bills this way.
If there was some easy & accessible way to make money without having to move an inch then said money wouldn't be worth anything.

 No.3999

I think cam shows sometimes work for some people. The idea of it is that it is at some point sexual, but from what I've heard, some just do it completely vanilla. Like, some people just watch them for some sense of human interaction. But you've got to be at least somewhat likable or charming.

 No.4000

Do western ASMR girls sell their lewd voices like japs do? All I know they only have youtube channel

 No.4001

>>4000
There is only one Western girl I know who "sells" audio, I use the term "sell" loosely because it's more "I'll provide a ton of free content that's of high quality but the special stuff is behind a paywall". But what really helps her is that she markets her lewd audios and podcasts as being "pro-male" and really uses that to her advantage.

I loved her content from the subreddit Gonewildaudio but not enough to pay 5 bucks a month to her. But I think a small monthly fee is better than possibly dealing with someone who might want to nickel and dime you for each audio file.


File: 1507453125680.png (91.55 KB, 850x967, dpd.png)

 No.3921[Reply]

Are there other people here with DPD (Dependent personality disorder)? I'm searching for an other person that has the same problem as me. So we can "depend" on each other and become friends! I'm also autistic and can talk basically all day. I wish the other person could also do that. My timezone is UTC+2.00 (Europe). I'm very sad every day. If you don't know what it is, just look at the picture. If I don't find anyone here I'll repost this on other IBs. My interests are programming, mathematics, animes and mangas.
>Feeling uncomfortable or helpless when alone, because of exaggerated fears of inability to care for oneself.
>Preoccupation with fears of being abandoned by a person with whom one has a close relationship, and of being left to care for oneself.
>Merges with and immersed into another; is engulfed, enshrouded, absorbed, incorporated, willingly giving up own identity; becomes one with or an extension of another.
The last point is very important, that means you should be able to talk to me all day. This describes me very well. I hope that I can find somebody. My email is LambdaCube@protonmail.com

 No.3922

I am dependent but not emotionally.
The thing with me is that I have no idea how to do grow up shit like government paper works or tax reports. I rely on my parents for many things even at age 26

 No.3989

OP here, I made a mistake in my post. I mean with all day the time when I'm awake, so it'd would be averagely 10 hours per day, but that doesn't mean you'd need to talk to me 10 hours in one piece. (I'd also be quite content with half of that time.) You should just be available for talking. In exchange I'll also be available for that time. I want a comfy person that wants to share his experiences! For example we could talk about anime or something you like!

 No.3993

While something like that sounds nice, it would only work if the other person has the exact same sensibilities as me and is extremely emotionally numb and apathetic. It's a shame that loyalty and apathy don't mix well with each other.


File: 1504061441321.png (108.76 KB, 800x1100, 36365b552a373acc578f8423d9….png)

 No.3744[Reply]

How do you think male and female neets are perceived differently by society? This can apply to normies' perception, employers perception, authority figure's(government) perception, parent perception, and the perception of the opposite sex to the neet. Also, why do you think these differences exist? What is the basis for any of it? I feel like this discussion was a long time coming and I'm really interested in do seeing what people have to say about it.
3 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.3805

>>3804
Where did you pretend to be the opposite gender? Please share pics.

 No.3809

>>3805
no

 No.3810

>>3809
I guess you're full of shit then.

 No.3811

>>3810
and you're just looking to start a fight

 No.3813

>>3811
You can't expect anybody to believe you without pics. What are trying to do? Contribute? Well, you're not.(USER WAS WARNED FOR THIS POST)


File: 1505407717879.jpg (337.93 KB, 755x1059, 1491969481891.jpg)

 No.3792[Reply]

Hello Neet, I am or was Neet. I have always had a social anxiety since school and I still hate going out, but have learned to overcome that and can actually socialize enough to get around and can even enjoy meeting new people. I love the Neet lifestyle, even if I don't intend to totally isolate myself from friends or family. To me the Neet lifestyle is being able to live my life without social obligations and needing to work all my time away while then just doing drugs and shit inbetween shifts because I am either too tired to do anything or just have a few free hours a day. This leave me, just as it does many other, with just the weekends to do anything, to be myself and to relax and unwind. In fact I am not as productive as I wish I was on my days off because I need to rest from working all week. So even when I am not working, my full time job interferes with my personal life.
So now what I want to know is how anyone here gets by financially without depending on family or others. My family will not support me and mooching off friends can only go so far before they get sick of your shit. I can stand working part time, but not full. In fact I hate part time too, but at-least I get some of my time back, but that still means I need to make more per hour to make up for working less. Either that or I need to make income aside from that job.
I really don't make much as it is at my job. Just over minimum wage. So I can make the same wage doing practically anything, with more benefits depending on where I go. If I worked part time then I would make half my current income and would only need to supplement it a few hundred dollars a month to have the same revenue that I currently have.
Now ideas I have had start with
A. working extra hard while I save some money. This isn't a long term thing as I hate working. I could get a job as a call center rep part time and work weekends. I just want to save some money for a camper van and for a certificate program in my states marijuana industry. I would preferably use it to work for myself, but with the mega corporations already opening up I can't imagine that would be to doable. Aside from consulting work for home ops.
B. Sell on ebay. I am looking at some products that I can get in bulk to sell as supplies and materials for various projects. IDK how well they truly sell and will check the recently sold on ebay before committing. Aside from that I would resell things that I know can be flipped like popuPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

 No.3793

>crypto
I would rather say daytrading. WIth mining you will earn nothing but daytrading is the thing to do if you live in a jurisdiction with no capital gains tax. The volatility is giantic and you basically just have to bad news, then buy, then wait until it goes up and sell on the peaks. If you did this from January until now, you would have made shittons of cash.

Mining will not give you much profit in most cases. You would basically need cheap electricity (China) or free cooling (Greenland) for your server farms.

 No.3794

Interesting. I have thought of trading, but am clueless on it. I just read through here https://www.thebalance.com/day-trading-4074032. I think it is a viable option, but I know I will need to take my time understanding the market and testing strategies. And it would appear that forex is the cheapest market to get started on. Definitely going to look more into this.

 No.3795

>internet surveys while you're NEETing

1) botnet
2) GNU/Linux
3) Autism
4) Don't mix your love and your work. If you start letting that encroach on your NEETing, kiss your enjoyment of it goodbye, as it will always be in the back of your head. Though I work full time, I put in my hours, and I drop it like a fucking rock - at home I don't think about work until my alarm is getting me up the next day, and that makes my time at home much more enjoyable. Just my two pence.

 No.3800

To make any money with cryptocurrency you'd need to basically set up an entire server farm, and even then good luck maintaining more income over electricity costs. The only quick riches from that were those who dived into bitcoin really early on.

If you're in the US, do recall that pot is still illegal at the federal level. Risky business, that.


File: 1491775435624.jpg (57.36 KB, 380x572, Hashiguchi Goyo-Woman Bath….jpg)

 No.2920[Reply]

Hey anons, I'm conducting a survey on NEET/Hikki/Freeters, I was hoping some of you might be willing to try it. (pic unrelated, art by Tadanori Yokoo)

https://goo.gl/forms/mUUH3ddYwgyEg2lz2
2 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.2924

Ally's are just someone who supports NEETs/Hikkis

 No.2926

At least be so kind to update us on the project here if you're making advances or present your results.

 No.2961

Hey Anon, thanks for helping out, so far I'm doing research on the support groups and the need for support among isolated people. Early stages right now, but judging from interviews and the survey results online communities aren't ideal support networks but for those who only have online support they're incredibly important. Whatcha think?

 No.2990

>>2961
Well, yea, most online communities are pretty toxic for anyone, NEET or not. And I don't mean the silly buzzword you'd hear from rainbow haired college girls, but actually toxic. I mean, you don't have to improve yourself if you surround yourself with likeminded people who won't confront you and just filter those who do.

 No.3767

>>2990
Could this be quote of the year?


File: 1503760892784.jpg (40.66 KB, 620x349, top-10-anime-to-watch-in-2….jpg)

 No.3734[Reply]

i feel bad for lurking in a thread like this, so i'll post this to feel better about myself

 No.3735

only quality toast in this bread

 No.3737

>>3735
Just wait til you see my butter spread

 No.3738

What a loaf of bullshit.

 No.3739

Have we started the leavening?

Yes! The bread rises!


File: 1489837140230.jpg (853.98 KB, 1980x1080, 1398952698994.jpg)

 No.2821[Reply]

As someone who has no "real" friends, my only source of companionship has been online friends. After 2 years or so I fear this group of my "close" friends have all grown tired of me, just as all of my friends in high-school would. I'm more on the quiet and shy side but I try my best to message my friends online everyday, but recently in the past few months they've seemed disinterested in me, not very receptive to me in group chats or in private messages. Eventually some, who I would message everyday have stopped messaging me and even ignoring me most of the time when I message them.

Maybe it's stupid but I feel so worthless as a person, as if I'm not even worth talking to because this happens every time, with every friend group I join. In school I was friendly with everyone, but then I'd realise the people I thought were my best friends were out partying and would make group chats while excluding me.

I got over this and felt alright cutting everyone off and being a NEET/hikki, but I thought I've actually been able to bond with these people online so it hurts especially when I know that this group of people are still messaging and calling each-other daily to play video games without me. There hasn't been any sort of fight between us or anything, so why is it always me that people get tired of? It's not like I'm spergy/edgy/mean to people or anything, so I just struggle to understand it.

Sorry for the rant, just upset and wanted to be able to write about it. Is there anyone else that has/is going through this?
9 posts and 4 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.3728

>disinterested in me
this was the case all my life in middle school. The other kids always called each other to do things but never invited me to any activity unless I organised it myself and called them. At some point I grew tired of this and just gave up. I am just too boring to get others to be interested in me and I do not have the interest anymore to actively seek friends anymore.
I just wanted to say that I can relate to what you must feel like. Never beeing desired like the "cool kids".

I also had online friends from my counter strike source days. It was kind of fun because we had insider jokes and I joined one of their clubs/clans. We were just regulars at the same server. Then I became less active since 2011 and now in my steam friends list you can see tons of people who had their last access to steam over a year ago. They either grew up or died. There are 3 guys left who are regularly online. Nowadays nobody bothers to even send me friend requests anymore but I also have to say that I rarely play anymore.

>this happens every time, with every friend group I join. In school I was friendly with everyone, but then I'd realise the people I thought were my best friends were out partying and would make group chats while excluding me.
I know this feeling and you are not alone. Was with me as well. I realized that I never had real friends. Just people I hung out with. Even the guys who were into my interests (anime, card games) had their other social circles where I was no part of.

>so why is it always me that people get tired of?
I don't know why you are in this situation but I can tell you the reason for mine. It is because I am a boring person. Nobody wants to be around a rain cloud so it is only natural that people would not seek my compagnionship by themselves.

>>2823
this would support my theory about beeing boring
Also, one of the guys from our former clique has contacted me as of lately. I believe he wants or needs something of me and I am soon to find out what it is. He was like this even 10 years ago.

 No.3729

File: 1503291103396.png (283.02 KB, 714x574, 1457585006298.png)

>>2870
>>2877
I know it's been months since you made this post but any tip or tag to talk with other social retards? And I mean true social retards. I don't watch anime nor play vidya anymore, and my knowledge regarding other topics is pleb tier. Been getting interested in history lately but I'd rather listen than talk. Im not the kind of person to argue endlessly over politics either.

There has to be a group for people with rotten social skills that isn't some meme forum like the social anxiety one.

 No.3730

>>3729
>Le your posting in one
Sorry anon, just getting that tremendously unhelpful answer out of the way before someone says it unironically.

 No.3731

File: 1503493135106.png (923.15 KB, 1011x1088, 1471832277203.png)

First step to living an utterly miserable life is giving this much care to how others perceive you. Focus on yourself for a while, everything should be done for your own sake. Companions are nice but you shouldn't have to modify your interests or personality to earb brownie points. You'll end up feeling artificial. It was all a fake facade because you're insecure of who you truly are.

 No.3732

>>3731
>earb
I meant earn


File: 1503190073529.jpg (40.71 KB, 590x350, Tim-Farron-943129.jpg)

 No.3721[Reply]

Hi guys, long time neet here, first time poster. I have to say, /hikki/ is a fine board. It's here that I have finally found troubled souls such as myself. In reading these posts, I have realised that I am not alone in my struggle.

It's refreshing to learn that there are other young men and women who enjoy sleeping in until 1pm and sitting on the computer all night. Up until now I thought I was the only person in the world who was so inclined to do this. My therapist kept saying I was being lazy, but I knew that fat sow was wrong.

To kick start a discussion for this thread, I'd like to pose a question: How do you con your local dole centre into giving you cutter for fags and alcohol? My mother is quite keen on that sort of thing, and I would like to secure a steady supply so that I can carry on with my lifestyle. I was thinking of pretending that I had autism or something like that. Seems to be all the rage these days. My mother was watching a show on the netflix related to it.

Anyway please let me know if you have any tactics when dodging the career advisors' interregation techniques.

Regards

John

 No.3722

oh my lord OP i am so totally with you on this… i used to only be able to get the tip to my tonsil, but after lurking this board for some time i have been able to overcome my limitations and push it all the way to the esophagus. my bf is very pleased to say the least. just another thank u to all the hikki posters out there for sharing there knowldge :)

 No.3726

>sleeping in until 1pm and sitting on the computer all night
story of my life brudder. Whenever I have the freedom to do so, I do it. I am naturally predestined for this somehow.

>lazy
I am surprised how many people misinterpret our situations as simple laziness.

>How do you con your local dole centre into giving you cutter for fags and alcohol?
I don't understand your slang but I assume you want unemployment bucks. To get them you sign up at your local job center. Then you jump through their hoops and go to courses or trainings and send out applications. When you go to applications you can either be dedicated to find a job or just fuck everything up bombastically. At the beginning they will not bully you but as time goes on they will become more aggressive when it comes to you finding a job.

Your time there will usually be limited to a year or two and if you fail to find a job they will stop paying you and you are officially not unemployed anymore. You will then be unemployable. It can help you to get a diagnose for a medical condition or welfare but to rely on 3rd parties for income is nasty and you will have never ending paranoia of losing your bucks one day. If I were you, I would start a side business in any case. Like buying stuff from somewhere and reselling it on ebay. I do this with video games and trading cards and I earn some pocket money every month on it.


File: 1446176365192.gif (364.6 KB, 500x281, tomoko.gif)

 No.326[Reply]

Since the beginning of my NEET status, there's one thing that's always bothered me: the percieved lack of a reason to exist.

I just feel guilty, being such a burden. It wouldn't matter how much those that care of me would be willing to accept it. I really haven't changed since last year, and I'm starting to feel really bad about it.

How do you work through it, fellow NEETs? What do you tell yourself is the reason that you should continue breathing the next day?

I'm not considering suicide, this is simply the most relatable image of Tomoko I found, but I'm definitely not feeling great.
37 posts and 12 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.3677

>>3670
That's just a mental-cop out. Is there a difference between a, "fake", emotion and a real one? Being a person whose death would benefit society isn't something to be proud of. Well, whatever gets you through your day I guess.

 No.3713

File: 1502790758957.jpg (40.93 KB, 500x286, bubble gum.jpg)


>>326

what do you mean burden? you are a burden by normie standards. But standards of the society is you are a burden the second you are not contributing anything to others. Its sick altruism that you shouldnt feel bad for ignoring.

w i z a rd

 No.3714

>>3713
No. You got it wrong. You're a burden if you're a burden. If you have enough money to pay for your own living expenses without relying on anybody else, normies wont think badly of you. Hell, they'll probably be jealous. If taxpayers have to take part of their paychecks and give it to you so you can keep buying vidya and consuming the planet's oxygen and limited resources, or your parents have to do it instead, obviously they'll think you're a burden. Even if you just live in the woods and scour for food, they wont they you're a leech unless they're a communist.

 No.3715

>>3714
>normies wont think badly of you. Hell, they'll probably be jealous
One thing doesn't contradict the other though.

 No.3716

>>3715
Huh. yeah. I guess I should have said that not only will they not think badly of you, they might also be jealous. People tend to dislike people who they're jealous of though. Well, they wont think of you as a, "burden", at least.


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