/hikki/ - NEET / Advice

Well, not really like a matrix error or similar, but since the pandemic I've felt considerably out of touch with people. As someone with Asperger's, I have never been one of many friends or being recognized but even so you don't feel like you are on a different planet. But since then, I now see and feel things very differently than others, to the point that you feel like an island separate from the rest of the lands. I remember as a child having zero ideas of these thoughts and living happily in that stupid but beautiful innocence of the world. Sometimes I feel that social networks have had something to do with it, but I don't even have clear evidence, so I can't say anything about it.

That, and even when you try to talk or minimally socialize, your head doesn't stop thinking about what things you might have said that made you look ridiculous or that you wasted someone's time. Even playing something online you feel totally out of touch with other players.

Yeah op it’s called autism spectrum disorder

>>8056

You say that, and maybe in jest, but my issue feels more like an outbound issue where autism is more of an inbound issue. I can read other people just fine, maybe too well, I overthink every little facial twitch. But when it's my turn to act, it's like I'm pretending to be human and doing so very poorly.

I wish I was autistic because then I'd have a group of people I could potentially relate to.

>>8057
>I overthink every little facial twitch

Someone else that suffer that. Great.

>>8057
I was only saying it partially in jest. As a diagnosed autist, I did see a lot of my experience in your post, and this reply actually confirmed my suspicions further. The hyperattentiveness to people’s expressions is actually just as autistic as a lack of attentiveness, as I can attest personally. The ‘pretending to be human’ comment is especially poignant to me, for a while in my childhood I genuinely thought I was an alien who couldn’t assimilate into society because of my alien traits. Op, I’m not a doctor so I can’t and won’t diagnose you here, but I will say about 6 of my peers have been formally diagnosed with it since I introduced the idea to them. It’s worth a look, I think. Lol

yeah, i've felt like this just about my whole life. as though I was born with some kind of malediction that makes me impossible to be happy

kind of a corny way to approach life, imo, but i get what you mean op.

there is a sense of loneliness i felt a lot when i waa younger, being exposed to the internet and delving more deeper into the online world. i sometimes forget that the things i see online everyday and not reflective in real life situations. it makes me feel like an alien who struggles to properly adjust to human society. i still have a lot of things to look forward too but it's primarily for my sake.

Pretty much for all my life, I always felt like the odd one out even though I never stood out except my right hand (my thumb was amputated) but it obviously never bothered me. Is hard for me to relate to people or even feel empathy for my Family and Friends, I recently starting to doubt my love for anyone, that's one of the reason why I go out as little as necessary and even be cautious about when to get out of my room for food or the toilet, so I don't meet any of my siblings.